Gods, why didn’t he have a fight now? He needed to hit something, feel bone break and flesh part under his fist. “What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? Why are you putting that on me now?”
“I’m not telling you to worry you, not even to punish you. It was five years ago, and there is nothing of that feeling left.” With effort, she unhooked her arms from around her, let herself open up to him, her neck and body exposed as any prey hoping to appease a predator. “I’m telling you so you understand. I am not the seventeen-year-old you knew, not even close. I’m still attracted to you – hell, probably ninety percent of the women and twenty percent of the men in the New Realms are attracted to you – but whatever was between us… It’s not there anymore, not like it was, because I’m not like I was.”
She said it like it was some big revelation, and while he wasn’t going to convince her of anything right now, not with all the emotions running high, he also wasn’t going to let it lie, let her have the last word and think he believed what she was saying. “You aren’t telling me anything I don’t see. So what you’re not seventeen, the core is still you. What we feel for each other is still real. Doesn’t matter how attracted you are to me, you wouldn’t respond if it wasn’t.”
Nalah’s stubbornness came out full force as she shook her head. “That’s muscle memory. It’s part of the reason I’m here. I wanted to get some closure to move on.”
If he ever got the asshole who thought up that word in the ring… “I hate that fucking word. What, you’re supposed to put a bow on us? Closure doesn’t exist.”
“No, I know that. I do. But the way it was before, how I left, that was wrong. Too many open wounds for both you and me are left from it. Yeah, I agree, closure doesn’t exist, but what it is now … Five years later, and it’s still bleeding. I want the bleeding to stop. I want the scar to form so I can go near it without constant pain.”
“And you think us here will accomplish that?”
“If anything can, it’s this. Not that this is a relaxing vacation, but outside in the world, there would be too many questions of me being in your life, people maybe remembering me from before. This way it’s as blank a slate as us two can manage.”
“Cards on the table?” he echoed her earlier words. She nodded. “You might be going for your closure, but the only thing I’m working for is you back in my life and my bed. I warned you before, and the words are still the same. While you’re here, you’re mine, and all I want is for you to never leave me again.”
Chapter Eight
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Nalah rubbed her neck where Esh had marked her yesterday, once again holding her head high and refusing to acknowledge the smirking looks directed her way. Damn Esh. Because of him she looked like she’d been attacked by a vampire and total strangers thought they had a right to comment on her private life.
“Where are you going?”
Startled, she stopped short in front of one of Beylor’s men, the shitty attitude and weapon in hand both giveaways to his identity. “I’m just looking around.” For innates and a magic ring, but he didn’t need to know the end of the sentence.
“Women need to stay in the lodge unless there’s a match. Turn around.”
For one brief moment, a wish that Fallon was here to deal with this sexist idiot bloomed bright in her heart, but she turned and took herself back to the lodge without complaint. Underground matches were not a haven of sexual equality, and women talking back, well, not so much. She wasn’t going to bring scrutiny to herself, no matter how good flipping him off might feel.
A few dozen women milled around the common room a few other guards pointed her toward, the overall mood cautious but still welcoming. Before she finished even a handful of brief introductions, in came the blondest, boobiest woman she’d ever seen in person, wearing about two pounds of make-up, ten pounds of jewelry, and a few ounces of clothing.
No magic ring, but if this woman wasn’t Beylor’s plaything, Nalah would get a makeover from Laire.
A slavering entourage surrounded the woman, high-pitched giggles in response whenever Blondie spoke. Definitely the queen of the compound.
Blondie gazed around until her eyes locked with Nalah, and she came over, all blinding white teeth in a horsey face. “Omigods, you’re the Cage King’s woman! How did you get him?! Omigods! Oh, I’m Tiffany, and you’re Nalah! I’m so glad to meet you!”
She pulled Nalah to sit beside her on the plush pink loveseat, three other women taking seats wherever there was room in the circle. Needing to get into Tiffany’s good graces and taking a chance due to Tiffany’s own pink ensemble, Nalah opened with, “I’m so glad to see other women here. I’ve been waiting for a chance to get away from the fight talk. By the way, I love this room. You should give a bonus to whoever decorated it. It’s so cheery.”