I was crying now. My body shook violently as sorrow ripped through me and Leah rocked with me. I was grateful for her. She'd always been there - she was my mom's best friend and I'd always viewed her as part of the family.
"Ella," her own voice was flooding with pain. "Baby girl…you're not alone."
Even in my state of mourning I was able to appreciate the fact she hadn't told me she was sorry. That was not what I needed or wanted to hear and she must have known, because her words were just right. Despite the fact that I knew I was, in fact, alone in the world now that my parents were gone - her words provided a small comfort. A window of hope in a time where there felt like none.
The service came to a close but I continued to cry at the graveside. People dispersed, offering murmured wishes and apologies I couldn't seem to bring myself to acknowledge, but Leah stayed with me. She held me until I'd run myself dry of tears. And only then did she stand, offering me her hand.
"Come home with me." She pleaded sincerely.
"Okay," I whispered because there was nowhere else for me to go.
***
Three days had passed since the funeral and I was now capable of holding a conversation without bursting into tears. It didn't mean I missed them any less or even that I was getting over their death, but that I was coping. I was surviving. It had been a week since I'd been to any of my classes. I knew I was falling behind, but I couldn't seem to bring myself to go back just yet. I'd spoken to my coordinator and a counselor and they'd both given me a week to sort myself out. That week was up and I was expected to be back in my classes on Monday. It was Saturday morning now and the thought made me feel sick. I didn't know what I was going to do come Monday. I was terrified.
"Good morning, Hun." Leah sang as I rounded the corner into the kitchen. I'd been staying with her since the funeral and I was thankful for her. She'd been helping me with the decisions I'd been forced to make with regards to my parent's property. It still hadn't sold and until it did there would still be debt.
"Good morning." I made a beeline for the coffee pot that was still grumbling on the counter. Leah must have just made it. "How'd you sleep?"
"Oh you know, like usual."
"Tossed and turned?" I smirked. She'd always had a sleeping problem. She used to complain about it to no extent with my mom. I'd always slept like a rock - up until this past week. Now I knew how she felt.
"I did." She sighed as she brought her coffee mug to her lips for a long sip. "You're starting school on Monday?"
I shrugged. "Why?"
"Isn't that when you're supposed to start?" Her tone reminded me of one my mom would have used. It hurt and I had to take a moment to clear my throat from a sob and blink back my tears.
"Yeah." I replied shortly.
"Ella,"
I interrupted her. "I have things to deal with here. The house hasn't sold and the lawyer keeps calling about the debt. I can't afford my next year of school and there is no way I can afford the rent on my apartment while keeping my grades."
"If you tell me you're thinking of dropping out young lady, I'll tan your ass." Leah threatened with a finger pointed directly at me.
I leaned my back against the counter and felt my eyes mist again. "I don't know what to do."
"Well, I'll tell you what your parents wouldn't want you doing." She barked. "They wouldn't want you to give up on your dreams of becoming a literary agent and they sure as hell wouldn't want you dropping out of school because you're afraid to take on the challenge."
Her words hurt. I felt as though I'd been verbally slapped. "If you know how they would want me to rise to the challenge, then tell me, Leah." I snapped. "Because I honestly don't have a clue."
"Go back to school. Get a job and find a roommate to help with your finances. It'll be a lot of late nights and you'll be tired but you'll get somewhere in life…somewhere you won't go if you stay here in this town. There is nothing for you here, Ella."
I turned my back to her and steadied my hands around the ceramic mug. It was warm, but I was shaking. "What do I do about the house?" I whispered.
"I'll handle the house, Ella. It will take time to sell, but when it does it will cover the debts and you'll be free."
"Free of the place my parents are buried." I sounded bitter and in a way I guessed I was.
"You'll be free to live."
Chapter 2
"Are you working again tonight?" Dee blew a small white bubble with her peppermint gum before sucking it back into her mouth. Long blond hair tumbled over her shoulder from where she had it tied into a low side ponytail. It concealed her textbook almost completely.