Goddammit. Was I cursed to live with this painful tear in my core forever? I had no idea how to heal the wound.
Maybe it would never heal.
You need to leave. Lila, it’s time to start over. New town. New life.
I wiped my tears. He’d gotten more than three drops of blood like my tattoo showed. I opened the door, dreading my walk of shame to get my purse, but it leaned beside my door in the hallway. Grateful I didn’t have to go back, I almost ran from the club in a hurry to reach my car.
At home, I threw myself onto my bed. Hurt echoed through me and made it impossible to plan.
Where would I go? How would I find a job? Ardmore. Maybe the moon. Nowhere would be far enough that I didn’t feel the pain of Dare’s rejection. I’d used the last of my courage to offer my heart, and he’d walked away.
We were done.
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Lila
Knocking on my door woke me up. Did everyone believe in morning visits? Just once, I’d like someone to show up after noon.
Would it be Dare? I didn’t feel even a quiver of possibility. He’d made it clear. He didn’t want me. I unclasped the security chain I’d installed and opened the door to see Jericho scowling at me.
I held out my hand to invite him inside.
“You don’t have to tell me.” My words were quiet. Defeat tasted so bitter. “I’ll be gone this week.”
He flipped me around holding my shoulders. “What the hell happened? He staggers in drunk last night, says he’s leaving for a few days. And I should check on you because you might need help.”
“I guess he’s giving me time to clear out.” I pushed down the despair.
“You tell him you quit?” Anger transformed him.
If I cared, I might be scared. “No. I all but begged him to take me back. Told him I’d been wrong, messed up from my sister and wasn’t thinking right. I asked him for another chance.” I bit my lip.
He shook me. “You don’t make sense.”
I stared at him unable to speak.
He let me go and I stumbled backward into the couch and sat.
“You been drinking?”
I laughed. “Nah, but if this was the pain he felt, I could almost understand why he drank.” I buried my face in my hands.
“Who?”
“My father.” I sighed and curled up.
“So you’re leaving?” Jericho sat in the chair.
“Isn’t it what you’re here to encourage?” I kept my head buried in the couch. “I told him it was him or none of you. I’m not interested in the exchange program.”
Jericho laughed.
I lifted my head to glance at him. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing, Mama. Just like the way you said it. The exchange program. Exactly how I feel when MJ shoves women at me.”
“You can’t run away from MJ.” I sucked in another breath and pushed myself up. “A week. Will it be quick enough?”
“I’m not firing you. Not asking you to leave. Dare didn’t either.” Jericho’s fierce stare burned into me, past the hurt.
“You aren’t. Why?” I studied Jericho, trying to understand him.
“I like you. You’re a good friend to all of us. You don’t want to be an old lady, fine. I’d hate to lose your friendship.”
“My friendship?” The words didn’t make sense.
“Yeah, Mama. You’re my friend. Bear’s too. Lots of guys, and we ain’t exactly made it easy for you.” He frowned. “Fucking idiot.” He mumbled the words.
“What?”
“Dare’s a fucking idiot for refusing what he wants. But he chose. Time for you to choose.” Jericho’s tone held an edge. He challenged me.
“What choice?” I didn’t have one. I had to go, start over. It wore me out thinking about it.
“Leave. Work at the shop. Work for me somewhere else.”
“I’ve made a fool of myself. Everyone knows he blew me off, again.”
He stood and went to my fridge. “You don’t have any beer,” he called out.
“Don’t drink,” I yelled back.
“What are you going to do?” He now stood in the middle of the room.
“I never thought I had a choice.” Possibilities fired in me, but I wasn’t sure what to do. Stay or go?
Jericho sat back drinking his pop while I pondered my choices. My heart had made up my mind, but a voice inside me warned it was a mistake. But then all my life choices ended up mistakes, so any choice I made was likely to go sideways sooner or later.
I looked up at Jericho. “I’m staying.”
I’d never had friends before, and I didn’t want to leave them behind. My relationship with Dare had ended, and it hurt to even think of him—but the way I loved him, it didn’t matter how far I went, it would hurt all the same.