I closed the distance to her, watching the way she worked not to show emotion, but fear danced with defiance in her cat eyes. The left side of her face was swollen with knuckle-size bruises starting to darken on her cheekbone. Anger ignited inside me, but I tamped that shit down. The last thing she needed was my anger, or guilt for that matter. I swallowed all those things, now she needed me. Her left eye puffed out and would be swollen shut soon. I lightly held her chin in my palm, caressing the unbruised side of her face.
“I’m so sorry, Red. This is my fault for not being there to protect you.”
She stared at me with an empty expression. I’d never seen her face without any emotion.
“It’s fine.” Her words were as flat as her face.
“No, it’s not.” I flipped her to the mirror. “Your face is fucked up. That is never okay.” I scrubbed my chin. “Of all the damn days to oversleep.”
She winced at her reflection. “I was clearly out of line. Point made.”
“What the hell?” She blamed herself. That was so screwed up I didn’t even know where to begin to straighten her out. “Why ain’t you pissed off? I am.” I paced her tiny bedroom.
“I got careless and this is what you get when you’re careless.” She spoke like a puppet, or some damn robot.
“Careless? What did you do?”
“Dunno. MJ tried explaining on the way here, but it doesn’t really matter. I’ll be more cautious.” She looked away from me. “Forgot my place, or lack of one.”
“Goddammit.”
Fury punched me in the chest and I wanted to beat Jericho all over again. Her words pissed me off because I knew they were true. Her place in my world depended entirely on me, and I’d not been there the one time it mattered.
“Get mad, say something.” Her lack of emotion, all those feelings that made her Red, were gone and it scared me.
She shrugged.
“We don’t treat women like that, and Thorn, well he’s different, but we don’t abuse women.” I shoved my hands in my pockets to keep from touching her.
Her face colored and lips thinned. Finally, a reaction.
“Thought you’d at least be honest.” She stuck her finger in my chest. “You know, call it like it is.”
“Finally, Red, get mad,” I encouraged her, wanting her to let out what she held inside.
“What does getting mad ever do? What? Does it make me bigger? Does it make it stop? Hell no, just another way to hurt myself.” She turned away from me, but I heard the emotion breaking up her voice. “If I get righteous and mad, does it mean I never see Thorn again? Mean he goes to jail for assault? Mean the Brotherhood wants me seeking vengeance or justice? Please.” A brittle laugh punctuated the end of her rant.
All true, especially about the Brotherhood, and they were me, so how could I stand here defending them while wanting her to forgive me. “He was out of line, so we’d understand if you pressed charges.”
“Are you damage control?”
“No,” I bit out. “That was MJ, but she came back so pissed, almost ready to call the police herself. We screwed up.”
“Don’t see a shiner on your eye,” she shot back, but then dropped her head.
“Only because neither Jericho nor Thorn hit back when I planted my fists in their faces.”
Her gaze flew to my swollen, scraped knuckles.
“I could’ve beat them senseless.” I hated that I’d wanted to hurt them, my brothers, just as much as I hated seeing her hurt.
“Bikers fight, a lot.” I started to step forward, but stopped. “When we don’t defend ourselves, it’s our way of saying we had no excuse. We were totally wrong.”
She looked wearier than I’d ever seen anyone look. I understood what MJ meant—my Red had vanished and some shell of herself had taken over.
“Can I take care of you, stay with you?” I looked away.
Tension built as she stayed silent, her face still a mask of nothing. I had no clue what she thought. If it were me, I’d kick my ass to the curb. I’d never hoped so much as I did in those silent seconds.
“Yeah, I’d like you to stay.”
I let out the breath I’d held as she decided. “Let’s get you to bed.” I tucked her in and pulled up the covers, taking the now unthawed corn and returning to the kitchen for more ice. She had another bag of corn, and barely frozen peas but no icepacks. I left the corn and hit the speed dial for Zayn. “Bring me the three icepacks from the shop.” I clicked off and waited.
He didn’t get a chance to knock before I opened the door.
Worry lined Zayn’s face. “Is she...?”