Enough(44)

“Lila.” She waited until I looked at her. “The walls are like paper. People hear everything, even if you hadn’t screamed. It’s a fact.”

I gulped. Her words penetrated. So privacy wasn’t valued here? But still, hearing noises wasn’t the same as coming where anyone could see me or screaming loud enough to be heard outside the whole club. “So on a scale of one to ten, how bad did I screw up?” I needed it straight.

“Zero.”

I gaped at her, not processing that. “How can that be?”

“We like sex, loud, raunchy, kinky, public, all kinds of sex, so you aren’t even on the high side of wild for us.”

The tight pressure that had coiled in me started to unwind. I didn’t know this world.

“...Now on the same scale...” MJ had continued speaking, but I hadn’t listened, so I focused on her words “...how many are envious of you and Dare’s obviously phenomenal time—that’ll be an eleven.”

This couldn’t be right. Could it?

“Expect people to talk to you about it. Razz you, congratulate you, try and pry out every kinky detail.”

No way am I going there.

“Tell them to fuck off, or brazen it out. But a warning, Dare’s not the kind to kiss and tell.”

Shit. “Will he be mad?” I could only whisper.

“No, he’ll give everyone a smug grin and say some smart-ass shit, but he won’t discuss what you two did. Not his style.” MJ crossed her arms. “I’m telling you this because I saw the panic making your eyes go wild. Fucking is one of the three best things in life.”

“What are the other two?”

“Ain’t giving you all my secrets.” She stood to walk back. “Stay a bit if you want.” She took a few steps and stopped, turning back to me. “Dare told you about property? That you’re his property.”

I nodded. This life was so strange, not at all like my past. I felt like I’d left Barden, Oklahoma, and entered a new state where the rules were different but no one bothered telling me, and I doubted they ever would. I was on my own unless I quit being such a chicken and asked Dare the questions stacking up in my mind. Or, I’d be a quick study and could avoid embarrassing questions.

Do I want to do this? Yup.

If Dare liked me then I could let go of my baggage and embrace this kick-ass version of myself.

“Good. You’ll probably need to tell a few to get them to go away.”

That didn’t sound great, but I’d do it because I could only think of one strategy for the night: fake it until I make it.

I stood to head back with MJ. According to her, I’d done nothing to make Dare angry. She wasn’t angry, and I didn’t care what anyone else thought. Well, I could pretend.

At the tables, MJ introduced me to the five women who helped set up. I joined in the work but kept quiet. I didn’t feel confident I understood what to say or who I should say it to.

“Lungs like yours, you should definitely do porn.” One of the big-breasted blondes nodded to me. “You can work with me at the production house.” At my blank look she continued. “The one Bear runs.”

“It’s one of our businesses.” MJ spoke low next to me.

“Thanks,” I told the girl, unsure of the right response to her suggestion. Instead, I moved away and started uncovering more dishes

Suzie followed me. I remembered her name because she was Gimp’s old lady, and Dare liked Gimp a lot.

“They don’t mean anything by it.” Her head bent toward the girls I’d left down the table.

“Met Gimp at the tat shop. What a character.” I gave her a half grin.

“Did he tell you about getting ink on his dick? He always says that.” She snorted when she laughed.

“Yeah, I had to break it to him, he was the sixth one this week.”

“Bikers never change.” Suzie’s eye roll made me laugh. “Let’s get a drink. Church’s out.”

I noticed men leaving the club, but Dare wasn’t among them.

“Yeah, sounds great, I’m parched.”

“Imagine so, after all that screaming.”

We both broke out in laughter. I could do this, especially if there were more like Suzie.

Zayn worked the bar, which had definite possibilities. Suzie stopped to chat with a guy I didn’t know, but I kept going to the bar. I cajoled Zayn into making me a virgin Captain and Coke and giving the alcohol version to anyone asking what I drank. After my ear-catching entrance, I wanted to avoid attention. I had a feeling my no-alcohol policy would stand out here.

I followed Suzie back to a picnic table, where we joined six other ladies, including the two old ladies I’d just met, Sarah and Andi, both looking more like the girl next door than an old lady. The other four had hard eyes and baked brown tans with cigarette lines around their lips. These women screamed old lady and proud of it. Most were close to MJ’s age, I guessed. I sat between Suzie and Sarah and sipped my drink, listening a lot and saying little. Already I’d tripled my understanding of the club.