Enough(20)

“Rock told me.”

The gossiping... I couldn’t think of a word bad enough. I hadn’t planned for my business to be the town’s business.

“Honey, it’s no use.” Rachel laughed. “The town’s too small and we all gossip too much.”

“I could just as well wear my words, if my face is so damn obvious.”

With a pat to my hand, she dug into her salad. We ate in silence a few minutes as I contemplated how to ask what I most wanted to know.

“So you’ve been man-free, meaningless sex-free, almost two months.” Her tone was sad and a tad dramatic.

“It’s not like I’m headed for a convent,” I huffed, although two weeks had been my limit before, and that was the first two weeks I’d been on the run. Since then I’d jumped from guy to guy in a matter of days, always with the next lined up. Well, at least after my very first breakup. When Justin told me to get out, I’d spent two days alone, not knowing where I’d sleep or where I’d eat. After that, I always had one eye on the guy I was with and another on who might take his place. In the early years, it was a matter of survival, but then it had become habit.

“I’ve had men, and three relationships. I guess I’d call them that.” I snorted. “But this is my longest time, since I started to have times, with no sex.”

“Why are you resisting the biker god? Are you not into bikers?”

I wish. In fact, I was too into him. “He’s my boss, and I’ve made that mistake. My last guy, when I dumped him, well, that’s how I ended up here. No Tony, no job.”

“Ouch.” She chewed and considered my words.

“Your turn.” I poked my fork at her. “You getting any?”

She grinned. “Now and again, but I’m between people.”

The way she said people was odd. Why not lovers, guys, or was she into girls? Not that I cared, but she had pried into my business in every way she could.

“So that says you like a bit of the wild side—what is it, girls, guys, both?” I couldn’t nail her down but something about her made me think it’s complicated was her relationship status.

She ate more salad, drank her tea, basically pretended I wasn’t there, even though a smile played across her lips.

“Both.” She dropped her head in her hands. “And I’m never satisfied with one long, before the other sex candy looks better.”

“You need to find two others like you.” Hell, everyone should find happiness.

Her mouth turned down and expression saddened in this way almost too painful to witness. “I had that once, but it’s gone. And that’s that.” She stared at her plate before glancing up with a wicked look on her features. “So we’re two bitches burned by our past, but at least I don’t let it keep me from gettin’ some.” She pointed her red-painted nail at me. “You need to get with Dare.”

I’d just be honest. “Tell me the lowdown on Dare.” I leaned in, desperate for all she knew.

“He’s wild, they say he got his name honestly, nothing that boy won’t do.” She waggled her brows. “And that he’s a god in bed. But don’t go thinking he’s in it for long, he isn’t made that way. In the ten years he’s been in town, no one has seen him with any girl longer than a few times, and that’s just sex. Personally, I’ve been here three years, and I ain’t seen him with the same girl twice.”

I smiled wide, thinking I’d been wrong. If we just relieved the tension and went our separate ways, that would be good, at least for me. I couldn’t stand the sexual buildup, the dreams, the holding back from taking what I wanted.

“You know most girls don’t smile when I say that.” She tapped her fork on the table. “You can’t change him.”

“I wouldn’t want to.” I grinned. “Most guys, they glom onto me, and I’ve let them. Sooner or later they’re telling me what to do, how to live or worse—my man picker is broken. But if he’s just in it for sex, and I really want some sex with Dare, then my worries about the other stuff are just in my head. Right?”

Rachel wrinkled her nose and said nothing. She went back to her salad, and I worried she didn’t approve of my plan.

“You think you can do physical but, honey, you got the forever vibe. Bet you bring soup to sick friends or bake them something to make them feel better. You go out of your way to make people around you comfortable, happy.”

The way she said it didn’t sound like an insult exactly, but it wasn’t a compliment either. “I might do some of those things, but I don’t want forever.”