His hands scraped through his hair. “I’ve only told one person, and I was drunker than this. No way I can do it sober. No way.” He shook his head back and forth, back and forth. Fear fell with his words.
I sort of understood how hard this was for him, but I refused to accept less than everything. He’d torn me to shreds with his secrets and careless indifference. What if he left me again? I’d never survive it. He’d punished and I’d bled, and he’d bled too, but we needed to clean our wounds if we held a hope of starting over.
“Then we’re done. Dare, I may always love you, but I deserve your story from sober lips. Drunk confessions lost their appeal before I turned eighteen.”
“Where’s my soft Lila who helps everyone?” He mumbled the words.
“Gone. Along with the time for half-ass shit.” I banished my tears.
He tried to stand and fell back into the chair.
“You aren’t leaving this living room.” I stared him down. “Sleep on my couch. It’s the last time I can make sure you’re sober when you drive from here.”
“Why do you even care?” He stood again.
I grabbed his arm and swung him toward the couch before letting go. He stumbled back and thumped over the arm of my couch. Eyes full of unending sadness stared up at me.
After I covered him up, I traced his jawline. “I’ll always care but I can’t wait for you any longer. I’ll be gone in four days. You have that long to grow a pair and tell me sober.” I kissed his cheek. “Get some sleep. Love you.”
He grabbed for me but I moved away. I stared down at him, memorizing his face.
A single tear ran down his cheek.
I fled from the room. I couldn’t see Dare cry.
We were at a stalemate, and only he had a move left.
I woke the next morning to an empty apartment. A part of me hoped he’d be there ready to tell me whatever brought him to my door.
I survived Monday. Tuesday I met Bear and Ollie for Mexican in Ardmore. I’d driven myself. Bear had offered to give me a ride, but I needed to be able to jet, my emotions still hadn’t stabilized after Dare’s late-night visit.
We went up to a counter to order. A Hispanic couple were the only two workers. Ollie ordered first, rattling out a whole line of Spanish. The woman’s smile brightened and a rapid-fire exchange took place.
She grinned expectantly at Bear. “Tamales.” He frowned, arms crossed. Her smile dimmed and she looked to me.
“Tamales and pop, please.”
We sat down in a booth with Ollie and Bear scrunched together on one side. Bear frowned at me, but that was his default expression. “The whole fucking club are idiots. They should’ve just let you alone, so you could stay here.”
“Amen. I don’t get it, and at least you don’t chase me.” I grinned at Ollie. “If only he could convince his brothers.”
“I’m as gay as it gets, and I understand what they all want.” Ollie patted my hand.
Bear snorted. “You’d have to be dead not to, but it’s no excuse for Jericho to go bat-shit crazy and use you in his plan for world domination.” He rolled his eyes. “I’d give my life for him, but I came close to taking it, yesterday.”
“Good thing you didn’t.” Ollie’s stern tone surprised me.
“What are you talking about?”
“Jericho has plans for the future—”
“No duh, he wants to kick out his father, so obvious.” I got that much of why he’d manipulated me.
Bear whipped his head from right to left making sure we were alone. “Don’t say shit like that. And Dare—”
“Never said a word.” I snorted and crossed my arms. “The prick cornered me to stabilize the club.”
“Yeah, pretty much, and he could’ve done it any number of ways that let you go about life, but he snared you in a Jericho web.”
A bell dinged at the counter and I bolted for the food. Just hearing him confirm my suspicions had ruined my appetite. My stomach roiled and eyes filled, but I pushed that shit back down. Bear confirming what I knew didn’t change anything. I smiled at the man who stood behind the counter this time. He held out the tray, so I nodded and accepted it. “Gracias.” That was one of a handful of Spanish words I knew.
I sucked in a centering breath as I walked back toward Ollie and Bear, who kissed in the booth. They were hot, with Bear being model handsome and Ollie a true silver fox.
“Break it up.” I let the tray clang down on the table.
Bear jumped and Ollie laughed.
We ate in silence a few minutes, giving the delicious food its due.
“You know Rock stood next to Jericho when we had Church on Sunday.”