Quietly, he drew a chair to the bedside, gazed at her sleeping face, and touched her hand.
Who says that the splendor / of a grass blade can ever prove / to be enough to return / the generous, radiant warmth / of the ever-returning spring sunlight?
These were the celebrated lines by Men Jiao, an eighth-century Tang dynasty poet, comparing his mother’s love for him to the warmth of the ever-returning spring sunlight. Chen was lost in memories…
A young nurse walked down the corridor, stopped, and poked her head in without entering or saying anything. She smiled and left, moving out of sight like a pleasant breeze in the early summer.
The room appeared bright and clean, with a window overlooking the well-kept garden in the back. It was much nicer than the old, overcrowded neighborhood in which she still lived. She might as well stay here a little longer.
His glance then fell on the presents heaped on the nightstand. Most of them were expensive. Swallow nests, ginseng, organic tree ears, royal jelly… To his astonishment, he also saw a bottle of hajie lizard essence, supposedly bu or nutritious to the yang, according to traditional Chinese medical theory. But he wondered if it could be beneficial to an old woman in her present condition. These gifts were probably from Overseas Chinese Lu or Mr. Gu, both of whom were prosperous entrepreneurs and were making a point of showering her with expensive presents. They hadn’t even bothered to tell him that they had visited.
In the amazing drama of China’s economic reform, it had been only a matter of years before the two had become billionaires. Had Chen listened to Lu’s advice back when Lu was just starting his restaurant chain business, Chen could have become one as well.
But he, too, was successful as a Party official, though he tried not to see himself as one like Zhou. There was no denying, however, that he enjoyed some of the same “gray privileges” the others did.
One of those gray benefits was a large discount on the hospital bill. His mother’s arm had been broken by a Red Guard during the Cultural Revolution. No compensation had been offered at the time. All these years later, however, she was suddenly classified overnight as “handicapped,” a status that entitled her to more medical benefits, in accordance with a new regulation. Not to mention the fact that she’d been allowed to stay here during her recovery and had been provided with a single room.
Ironically, in order for him to be a filial son, he had to be a loyal Party official, supporting the government that had injured her.
His mother stirred, opening her eyes with a surprised smile at the sight of him sitting by the bed. She looked ashen, shrunken, but she managed to reach out an emaciated hand.
“You didn’t have to come to visit. This hospital is much better than a nursing home.”
“How was lunch today?”
“Good. They served well-cooked soft noodles with sliced pork and green cabbage.”
She gestured at a menu on the table. Unlike other hospitals, there seemed to be quite a variety from which to choose here. It was almost like a small fancy restaurant. Her choice of dish was probably due to her teeth. She’d lost several of them, but she refused to bother with the ordeal of dental treatment at her age.
He got up to mix a cup of green tea and American ginseng essence for her.
“Our relatives and friends all say good things about you,” she said affectionately. “I’ve long given up trying to figure things out in China today. It’s all too much of an enigma for me, but I know that you always try to do the right thing.”
“But I haven’t been taking good care of you. When you get out of the hospital, please come and stay with me. Nowadays it’s quite common for people to hire a live-in aide.”
“No, I’m fine. I’m a contented woman. If I left the world today, I would go with my eyes closed in peace, except for one thing I’m still concerned about. You know what I’m talking about.”
That happened to be one thing about which he had nothing to tell her. Chief Inspector Chen remained single. Confucius said, “There are three most unfilial things in the world, and to go without descendants is the worst.”
“White Cloud came by the other day,” she went on. “A really nice girl.”
“I haven’t seen her for a while.”
He was to blame, he admitted to himself, for the distance between White Cloud and himself. The shadow of her dancing in the private karaoke room seemed to always accompany her, or perhaps it was nothing more than the shadow swirling in his mind.
The water flows along, the cloud drifts away, and the spring is gone. / It’s a different world.
He tried to straighten up the things on her nightstand here, as if the effort could somehow make him feel less lousy. He was interrupted by a noise at the door.