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English Girl in New York(25)

By:Scarlet Wilson


She was staring at him again. Transfixed by his beautiful skin and  blinking blue eyes. ;I just can't think of him like that. I just have  the oddest feeling-' she put her hand on her heart ;-right here, that  I'm right about him. I can't explain it, but I just think that Abraham's  mother didn't abandon him because she didn't love him. I think it's  just the opposite. She abandoned him because she did love him.'

Mrs Van Dyke sat back in her chair, cradling Abraham in her arms. Carrie  was almost envious of her years of experience. The strength she had to  draw on. It radiated from her. Being around Mrs Van Dyke was like being  enveloped in some warm, knowledgeable blanket. She could only hope that  one day she would be like that, too.

After a few moments she eventually spoke. ;It seems to me like it's time to ask some hard questions, Carrie.'

The words made her a little uncomfortable. Could Mrs Van Dyke read her  thoughts? See all the things that were floating around her brain about  Daniel? That would really make her cheeks flush, because some of those  thoughts were X-rated.

But surely Mrs Van Dyke had no inkling that anything had happened  between them. She hadn't even seen them together. She couldn't possibly  know.

;What kind of questions?' she finally asked.

;The kind of questions you're skirting around about. Why exactly would a  mother leave a baby on our doorstep? What reasons could she possibly  have? And why this doorstep? Why not another?'

Carrie sat back in her chair. All the things that had been circling in  her brain for the past few days. Even though they were in the  background, she hadn't really focused on them, or given them the  attention they deserved. Looking after Abraham, and trying to decipher  her emotions towards Daniel, had taken up all her time and energy.

It was time to sit back and take a deep breath. To look at things from a new angle, a new perspective.

;I guess I need to take some time to think about this,' she said quietly.

;I guess you do.'

It was like being in the presence of an all-knowing seer. A person who  knew what was happening but left you to find it out for yourself.

She stood up and walked over to pick up Abraham again. Just holding him  close seemed to give her comfort. It was amazing how quickly she was  becoming attached to this tiny person.

;I'll get Dan to bring your shopping up later.'

;That's perfect, Carrie.' She gave a little nod of her head. ;You've  taken on a big job, and I commend you for it. But Abraham is someone  else's baby. It's so easy to love them, and it's so hard to let them go.  You need to protect yourself. You need to look after your own heart.'

Carrie placed her hand across Abraham's back. ;I know that. I know that  this won't last. As soon as the snow clears, Abraham will go to Angel's  to be assessed. Social services already know about him. I'm sure they  will already have somewhere for him to go.'

She nodded towards the television. The title for a new episode of  Diagnosis Murder was just beginning to roll. ;I'll let you get back to  your television.' Had she really been up here for an hour? ;Thank you  for letting us visit, Mrs Van Dyke.'

;No, thank you, Carrie. I hope I'll be seeing you again soon.'

;I hope so, too.'

She headed towards the door. Even before she opened it Abraham twitched  in her arms as Mrs Van Dyke reached for the remote control and the sound  boomed around the apartment again.         

     



 

Carrie smiled as she closed the door behind her.

She lifted her head. It was as if her own doorway was beckoning from  across the hall. She'd barely been in there for the past few days. Just  twice for a shower, a change of clothes or to pick up some baking  ingredients.

Last time she'd been in there Dan had kissed her.

After this morning that almost seemed like a lifetime ago.

She propped Abraham up on her shoulder. She knew exactly what she was  going to do now. She wanted to leave Dan to sleep a little longer.  Hopefully then he would be in the mood to talk.

In the meantime she and Abraham would have some quiet time together. It  didn't feel like a betrayal to have him in her arms any more. It just  felt right. As if he belonged there.

But most importantly she had someone she wanted him to meet. Someone she wanted to talk to him about.

To let him know that there was room in her heart for everyone.





CHAPTER TEN

THREE HOURS LATER she was back downstairs. Abraham had slept for a few  hours while she sat quietly and looked through the things in Ruby's box.

It was the first time she'd ever managed to do it without breaking her  heart. She was still sad, a few tears had still slid down her cheeks.  But this time it hadn't been so hard to put the things back in the box.  It hadn't felt as if her life was over. It hadn't felt as if there was  nothing to fight for any more.

And that wasn't just because Abraham was in her arms. It was because she was beginning to feel different.

Daniel appeared in the doorway, his hair rumpled and sticking up in  every direction but the right one. ;Hey, how long did I sleep?'

She glanced at her watch. ;We've been gone for four hours. We had to  come back down because Abraham needed another bottle.' She hesitated for  a second. ;We need some more supplies, and Mrs Van Dyke needs some  things. How would you feel about leaving Abraham with her for a little  while?'

He nodded and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. ;I think that sounds like a plan.'

;Are we almost out of nappies already?'

Dan looked over and nodded, staring into the bottom of the powdered-milk  can. ;We're almost out of everything. I definitely need to buy some  more coffee. It's the only thing that keeps me awake. I'm usually never  this tired.'

Carrie walked over to him, leaving Abraham to kick his legs freely on  the towel for a few minutes. ;You're usually never looking after a baby.  How do you do on night shifts?'

He gave her a rueful look. ;The busy nights are fine. The quiet nights? I drink about six cups.'

;Will Mr Meltzer have anything left?'

Dan shook his head. ;No. We'll need to go further afield. Do you have rain boots?'

;Wellies? Sure I do.'

;Then get them. Go and get changed and I'll make a few calls to see  where we can get some supplies. Are you okay walking a few blocks?'

;Of course. Do you want me to take Abraham up to Mrs Van Dyke?'

He shook his head. ;No, I'll do it. You go and get changed.'

She should have known. Dan wanted to check on Mrs Van Dyke himself. He  really was a good guy. So why was he so down on Abraham's mother? It  just didn't fit with the rest of his demeanour.

Ten minutes later she was ready. Her pink wool coat, purple scarf and  purple woolly hat pulled down over her ears. Her wellies firmly in place  with her jeans tucked inside.

The nip of frost was still in the air as they stepped outside. Dan  pushed a piece of paper into his pocket and held out his gloved hand  towards her.

Carrie hesitated for just a second. There was nothing in this. He was  being mannerly and making sure she didn't fall over in the snow. This  wasn't about the kiss that they'd shared-not at all.

She put her hand in his. ;How far do we need to go?'

The snow was deeper than she'd expected. Not quite deep enough to reach  the tops of her wellies, but not too far off it. ;A few blocks,' he  murmured.

It only took a few minutes for her to realise that trudging through the  snow was harder work than she first thought. She could feel her cheeks  flush and her breathing get harder. This was the most exercise she'd had  in days. But there was something almost magical about being the first  set of footprints in the clean, bright snow.

They walked for ten minutes before they came across their first snowman.  He was built in the middle of the sidewalk at a peculiar angle. The hat  had slipped and one of the stones that had been an eye had fallen out.

Dan smiled as she stopped to admire him. ;Oh, no. Here she goes. Snowman envy again.'

;What do you mean?'         

     



 

;I saw your face when you watched the news report. The shops we're  visiting are right next to Washington Square Park. If you really want we  could stop and build one.'

She shook her head. ;But I didn't bring a carrot. Every good snowman  needs a carrot for a nose.' She smiled. ;Actually, I'd much prefer to do  a snow angel. Less work, more fun.'

They walked around the edge of the park towards the shops. There were a  number of independent stores with lights on inside. Dan pushed open one  of the doors quickly and shouted through to the back. ;Aidan, are you  there?'

;Hi, Dan.' The guy appeared quickly from the back of the shop. ;Sorry,  the phone keeps going ever since I got here. Seems the whole world needs  supplies right now.' He nodded to the bags on the counter. ;I think  I've got everything you requested-including the baby supplies. Anything  you want to tell me, buddy?'

He looked from Dan to Carrie, and back again. ;It's not what you think.  We found a baby on our doorstep a few days ago. Social services can't  get through to pick him up and we need some supplies to take care of  him.'

Dan's face was a bit flushed. As if he knew exactly what Aidan had been  thinking. Was he embarrassed? Was he embarrassed that people might think  they were actually a couple?