Enders(54)
“What about him? Is he all right?”
“He’s okay. Is he your boyfriend?”
I didn’t like this inquisition. The less I revealed, the better. Plus, I figured cameras were filming us.
“No,” I said. “He’s also a friend. Where is he now?”
“In another room. He refused to finish his tests too.”
I imagined Hyden being told to shoot a holo of me. It made me feel good to know he wouldn’t do that. But Michael had finished his tests. Did he have to shoot me?
She ran her hand through her hair. “It just makes everything go longer when you guys won’t cooperate.”
“What do you mean? Have you had other Metals in here before?”
She nodded.
“Where are they now?”
“I’m not supposed to talk about that.” She twirled her hair around her finger. “I wanted to ask you something. They said you knew my grandma.”
“They told you that?”
“Yes. That she rented you. Is it true?” She seemed sharper than earlier when she had been so spacey.
“How do I know you’re really Emma?”
“I thought I proved it to you, last time we talked. The bracelet, remember?”
“Maybe you were listening when Emma and I were talking,” I said.
“My grandma always kept a gun in her bedroom.”
“Lots of Enders do.”
“In the floor of their closet, under the rug, under the floor panel, in a wooden box? A Glock eighty-five?”
That stopped me. “Okay.”
“She said it was better to be prepared than to be afraid. I think the war did that to her.”
“The war changed a lot of us.”
“The one thing I hated was she wouldn’t let me get any surgery. I wanted my nose fixed. My mother would have let me do it if she were alive. I told Grandma that. She cried. I don’t know if it was because she missed her so much, or because I’d hurt her. If I do get to go back someday, I’ll tell her I’m sorry. I think about that a lot.”
I couldn’t tell Emma the truth now. She wasn’t ready to hear it.
“Even though she should have let me get the surgery,” she went on. “I had such a beak.”
“Emma, I saw your pictures, from before. You had your grandma’s nose. It was strong, and it looked good on both of you. I know it sounds lame, but it’s true—what’s on the outside isn’t as important as what’s on the inside.”
“Oh, easy for you to say.” She looked me over.
“Sure, I got the makeover like you did, but it didn’t really change me. Someday, we’ll both be Enders, and even with green laser surgery, eventually we’ll be old and wrinkled. Like everybody. But we’ll look a lot better if we’re happy inside. If we used our brains and our talents instead of stressing over what someone else defines as ‘pretty.’ ”
Emma frowned. “You don’t know what it’s like. You were probably never ugly.”
“Neither were you. It’s not that we shouldn’t be the best we can be. But surgery at sixteen? Or thirteen or twelve? I’ll bet you knew some mean girls who looked like holo-stars.”
“Oh yeah.”
“But let me guess: no one decent wanted to be around them because they were stupid bullies?”
She was silent.
“I’m telling you, if there’s one thing I learned from this whole body bank mess, it’s that looks are overrated. Beauty isn’t about meeting some holo-star standard, it’s about being you. Because looks come and go. But nobody else can be you.”
She stared at me as if I were crazy.
“You’re never going to change my mind,” she said. “If I hadn’t already done it, I’d get this doctor who’s here to do it. He can do anything.”
“What doctor?” I said.
“He’s a surgeon and a tech expert.” Her eyes were on fire.
A female Ender’s voice came over an invisible speaker. “Emma, you are wanted in the front office.”
She pouted. “I gotta go.” She got up and left.
I felt like an idiot wasting my energy trying to convince her to appreciate herself. Did she listen? No. Meanwhile, Dawson was probably cooking up some new torture for me. After attacking his guard, I hated to think what would be in store for me.
Callie?
Someone was in my head. And it wasn’t Dawson.
“Hyden?” I stood. “Is that you?”
Yeah, it’s me.
“How is this happening?”
I stared at the gray padded walls.
Dawson and his people made me hook up. They’re here.
“I see.” So Dawson had some new test.
I’m sorry. …