Emins’ Mate(51)

He turned to face her now.

“I’ll never be a wife again,” her voice rang out, quiet but absolute.

Understanding crossed his face and if the expression had been laced with pity, or sympathy even, Zara wouldn’t have been able to stand it. But it wasn’t. There was only understanding there.

She continued on. “So I’ll do it. I’ll sleep out, away from the camp, alone. But only if you promise me that none of them will come to me. That I really will be alone. That I can stay here. As a Surgere, and not have to mate with anyone.”

Solar crossed the room back over to her, his expression tight and dark. In a move she didn’t expect, he sat next to her on the cot and leaned forward over his knees. He looked tired as he pulled his hand through his hair.

“It would be easier if you’d just pick one of them to mate with. The rest would leave you alone after that.” He said the words, but there was no heat behind them. Zara knew that he was barely suggesting it.

“If that is my only option, I’ll shift. I’ll leave camp and be on my own.” She looked down at her hands crossed over her lap. “Actually, I quite like this jungle. It’s my favorite place where we’ve made camp. I think I could be happy on my own here. If I went further in.”

Solar turned to face her instantly. “You’re serious. Instead of mate, you’d rather live completely on your own. In the jungle. In dragon form for the rest of your life.”

She nodded. It would make her sad to leave camp. All the campfires, the loud, principled, loyal group of Surgeres. And even sadder to leave Solar. But she would do it in a heartbeat if it meant peace from suitors. “If you can’t promise me protection, I’ll go tonight, before my fertility. So things don’t get muddled.”

Solar stared into the darkness; he seemed to be balancing something unknown in his mind. His shoulders bunched as he leaned forward onto his knees and dropped his head. Almost as if it were in defeat. “Come on,” he rose. “I’ll walk you back to the infirmary.”

“Does that mean I’m staying? That you’ll promise to protect me?”

“Yes,” he said, not bothering to look at her as he slid his hut door to one side for her. “I’m going to protect you.”





CHAPTER THREE





The following night, Solar tried not to watch Zara across the campfire. He decided he was in hell. He must have done something terrible in a past life to deserve this. Suddenly, having to watch her mate with someone else seemed like a paradise compared to what she was asking of him. To stay close to her. At all times. To keep himself in between her and any willing male. To protect and care for her body. But not to take her as his own.

He had no idea how the fuck he was going to find the reserve. The will. The strength. It had been hard enough to keep his distance these last four years. He’d had to treat her with coldness, even disdain, in order for her to stay away from him.

After they’d rescued her, she’d naturally leaned on him. He was the only one of the Surgeres that she knew personally. But even then, the temptation to lean back into her had been too tempting. He’d had to cut it off at the pass. He never acted on any warmth or attraction he felt for her. He bottled it up. The frustration of that made him curt, short, and irritated with her always. But at least that had kept her at a distance, so that he didn’t have to grapple with it every second.

But now, he was going to have to be glued to her side. For weeks, maybe months, maybe even years, depending on how long her first, most potent, fertility season lasted. He’d have to keep her close and resist her at all times. He could barely resist her when he kept her at arm’s length. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

“I suppose you should picture a suit of armor. Or an invisible force field,” the Oracle said as he sat down on a stump next to Solar and held out a leg of lamb to him.

Solar took the food gratefully. “What?”

The Oracle nodded across the fire to Zara. “The answer to the problem you’re trying to figure out. How to keep her close but resist at the same time. Picture her behind a paper-thin force field. Or wrapped up in a suit of armor.” He studied her for a second. “But on second thought, it would be a crime to hide that bod behind a suit of armor, even mentally, so I’d go with the force field thing.”

Solar felt the food turn to dust in his mouth. For what felt like the millionth time, he snapped at the Oracle. “Will you please just shut the fuck up?”

“I just thought I’d offer some friendly advice.” The Oracle held his hands up in surrender before chomping on his own leg of lamb.