Carson couldn’t reveal any of this to Sienna, nor could he let on he noticed a strange expression pass over her face in the morning. It was when she told him to do “what he needed to do” in discussing him going back east. What was it about? Did she not believe him that he had to leave? Was she making her own secret plans?
He pretended to not see her indecision, but planned to ask her about it and look fully into it later.
No way I’m losing her.
At the moment, he was rubbing Sienna’s back and wanted to let her continue to doze. Her sleeping in his arms had suddenly become his favorite way to pass idle time. However, suddenly he was in no mood to be idle.
He nuzzled Sienna’s neck, breathing in her scent, allowing her hair to tickle his nose while his hands traveled around front, making their way south.
“Mmm, Carson,” she said as she scooted back even closer, her tight ass grazing his dick as she turned and threw her leg over his hip.
“Nothing better than hearing you say my name, baby.”
“Carson.”
He smiled. He knew she couldn’t see it because his face was buried in her mass of blonde hair, inhaling her scent, but still he smiled to himself.
“I like hearing you say mine, too,” Sienna admitted to him.
Sometimes she was so open with her thoughts, and he liked that. Were there no games because she had never learned to play them in the first place? He found it hard to believe, but it seemed as though she was the real deal, telling the truth when she claimed to be inexperienced with dating.
“Good, baby. I like saying it, especially when I’m deep inside you.”
Something else altogether took over Carson in that moment, and he spoke without thinking. “I never asked, is Sienna your real name or a stage name? Your secret is safe with me, if you care to share,” he said with a wink.
Carson realized he was only half-joking.
Shit, I just put my foot in my mouth.
He expected Sienna to stiffen and pull away. What happened next stunned him.
Sienna continued to touch him, stroking his abs while obviously reveling in his touching of her when she said, “Lila. Sienna’s been my name for so long, and everyone calls me that. I barely remember my birth name, but Lila, that’s what it was.”
As soon as the words came out of her mouth, Carson knew with certainty that the woman he was falling in love with was the missing woman from Brooklyn he’d been chasing. Not wanting to spark fear in Sienna, or Lila, Carson didn’t give up what he figured out. Struggling to keep his breathing steady, he continued to kiss Sienna’s neck and played the whole thing off like the pillow talk it appeared to be.
He reminded himself of his first priority: To keep her safe. He would figure out the ghastly reason why she ran, and then decide how to deceive his client. For the first time ever.
“Lila, it’s a beautiful name,” he said. “Suits you, but so does Sienna. Your beauty runs so deep, I don’t think it matters what your name is or what anyone calls you. Everything anyone needs to know is in your smile, your eyes, the way you listen intently.”
He pulled her up so they were eye to eye. Keeping her close, kissing the top of her head, he vowed to himself to protect her, even if it went against his work ethics.
Carson made love to Sienna one more time, memorizing her body and how it felt when joined with his as one, before driving her to the Electric Tunnel. Since it was Sunday, she only danced once, so Carson stayed and watched.
He couldn’t help but get the feeling that this was his last time watching her for a while, and he hated it. He didn’t know why he felt that way, other than he had a crazy work situation staring him in the face.
Oh, and I’m in love with the very missing person I’m supposed to be handing over to whom I now consider the enemy.
When Sienna was done for the night, Carson drove her back to her place, tucked her in, and waited until she fell asleep to leave. He went back to his hotel in order to pack and prepare for something he never had to do in his career so far. Lie to a client, break a contract, and admit to himself he got emotionally involved in a case.
Carson denied himself staying at Sienna’s because he knew if he spent one more night, he would never leave. Then he’d never get closure on this fucking hell of a situation, and he just wanted it to be resolved, and done for good.
So he could get back to Sienna and never fucking go anywhere else.
Monday
DEEP LONELINESS set in like a dark cloud when Sienna woke up in her bed without Carson. She knew he wasn’t going to be there, but still caught herself reaching for him.
Reaching for and missing a man who as of a few weeks ago wasn’t even part of my life or plan?