“I know you didn’t come from an easy life to Vegas, Sienna, and if you don’t want to go into details, well, I get that, too. But how is it that you, someone so kind and giving, was never given anything good? Why is this the first time you felt something decent from a man? There’s something wrong in and of itself with that. You not only deserve good, you should have better than good. Do you understand?” With her eyes fixed on Sienna, her friend waited for an answer.
“I understand what you mean,” Sienna murmured from the tub, “and I know that I should allow myself to have the sweet part of life, but I just can’t. A long time ago, I had the worst of the worst. I don’t want to talk about it. Even though I want it all right now, I can’t have it. My life is a whole lot of wants that aren’t possible, my past won’t allow it. That’s all I can say.”
Petal sighed. “Look, we all come from checkered pasts, Sie. Like I said, I’m not going to pressure you. I’d never do that. Just know that you more so than anyone, it’s only fair you get a good life. You take care of all of us at the club. You need to give in to yourself one day and go after what you deserve.”
Sienna looked away. “Petal, I love you, and one day I want to explain it all to you, but right now, this is all whatever this is can be with Carson, a memory of the best night of my life. We’re going to have coffee this afternoon, and then he’ll go back on assignment wherever he should be. And that’s it.” She released a long sigh that almost sounded like a whimper, then closed her eyes before sinking further into the bubbles.
“I’m not going to argue with you,” Petal said softly, “and I’ll support you in all your choices, whether I think they’re crazy or not. I love you, too, and one day, I hope you’ll confide in me so we can figure out how to make sure you get it all.” She brought her hand to Sienna’s forehead and pushed a few loose hairs back before placing a single kiss on her forehead. Then, to give Sienna some space, she was sure, she moved to the makeup table and started looking through Sienna’s lip glosses.
With that, Sienna knew she had to change the subject to something less invasive than her past. She could only hold it in for so long, and the way her emotions were going up and down and around like a roller coaster, she was close to breaking down and spilling everything. She needed to move on to safer territory.
She opened her eyes and reached for a towel, then slipped out of the tub and dried off. While she dressed in loungewear, she said, “Thanks, love. I’m feeling better after talking with you, and the bath. Now tell me all about the bachelor party coming in tonight. How many men? Rooms? Which girls are working the party?”
She laughed about how much money Petal said she expected to make that night. Her “little sis” shot right back with reminding Sienna to eat, get dressed pretty, and be ready for coffee.
Petal didn’t wait for Sienna to come back with any arguments. She left Sienna to her thoughts after mentioning the coffee date.
AT PRECISELY three o’clock, Sienna heard a knock on her door and knew it was Carson. Steeling against flinging herself into his arms, she smoothed the front of her midnight-blue cashmere sweater, making sure it lay flat against her skinny jeans, brushed a lock of hair from her face, since it was down and set in light waves, and opened the door. Carson looked his normal casual, masculine self, dressed in a gray thermal pullover pushed up to his elbows, worn-in jeans, heavy boots, his black hair mussed up, and his little dimple in his cheek.
Under other circumstances, they would look like the perfect yuppie couple heading out on a brisk Vegas winter day. Sienna wanted to run her finger along Carson’s ear where his hair was slightly turning gray and curling up, obviously still wet and fresh from a shower. She was dying to reach up and kiss him intimately and whisper hello in his ear, something she always dreamed about doing when her husband came home, but they weren’t the idyllic yuppie pair. They were a stripper and her fan from out of town.
Instead, she clasped her hands behind her back, and said hi sheepishly.
“Hi to you. How was your morning?” He moved confidently through the door.
“Good. Relaxing, actually.” She wasn’t going to tell him about her meltdown.
“Nice. I kind of hoped you were going to say you counted the minutes until you saw me again,” he teased. “Are you ready to go, or do you need some time?” He then stepped in to brush a kiss across her lips.
A lump formed in her throat over the night before and asking him to leave. Did he not mind at all?
“I’m ready, let me grab my tote. Oh, wait, I have to text Mike and tell him I don’t need a ride to the club tonight.”