Sienna: Canyon Coffee in Henderson? 1 p.m.?
Carson: Meet you there?
Sienna: Yes.
Carson: Looking forward.
Once the plan was set, buyer’s remorse immediately set in.
Oh God, I’ve done it.
As the bright lights of the Strip faded away and suburban Las Vegas passed by her window, Sienna tried to calm her nerves. Perhaps the sexual hype of the club clouded her judgment? Surely, the serenity of her neighborhood with its perfectly manicured rock gardens and well-lit porches would give her a better perspective. She looked out the darkened window, unsure of exactly what time it was, but caught sight of the moon hanging in the black velvet sky over the distant desert. She leaned back into the soft seat and stared at it as her thoughts whirled.
The problem was, she wasn’t strong enough to resist the desire and urge to connect intimately with someone else. Her heart and her body had another plan, and somehow she had to get a handle on it all.
She would have coffee with Carson, and give the curiosity a chance to bleed out of her system. Afterward she would go away with Asher for a day or two, and then she’d be ready to move forward on her own, just as she had been doing for years.
The fact she was an adult star scared her less than getting attached to a man. The adult entertainment world was a place the only other community she’d ever known shied away from, ignored, and pretended as if they weren’t even part of the same secular space. The two universes would never collide. She was safe in the little web she’d spun for herself.
But she wasn’t safe opening up her heart.
Sadly, Sienna arrived home before she knew it, having ignored Simon for the entire ride. As he opened her door, held her hand as she exited into the chilly evening air, and walked her all the way up the narrow path lined with tiny pebbles, she felt bad. She shut the door behind her, the lock clicking into place, and made a mental note to make it up to him later in the week with some cookies. Getting her priorities straight was more important.
A short while later as she slipped into her nightly bath, letting the water warm her skin, Sienna felt solid in her resolve. One cup of coffee and she’d be done with Carson. An hour of mindless adult chatter would ease her ache for the intimacy missing in her life, and then she could continue to move forward with the plan she had set for herself a long time ago.
Even as her brain worked overtime, trying to convince her heart that this tactic was the right one, the rest of her body tingled, remembering how it had pulsed earlier.
The feeling radiating through her was something she couldn’t identify. Lust? Desire? It had been years since she’d been intimate with a man, and the only one she had been with did nothing to satisfy her. Which explained why, at the moment, she was having trouble pinpointing why her body was so heated with physical need.
Since arriving in Vegas, Sienna learned all there was to know about sex, acting sensual, playing up the more naughty ideas, and how to please herself. She even had a vibrator. Growing up, Lila didn’t even know something as miraculous as a vibrator existed. When Penelope gave Sienna one as a gift, she was mystified, but after a few times experimenting with it, she was sold.
Taking care of herself with the tiny little “pocket rocket” was the only sexual pleasure she had ever had. Sad that it was at the effort of her own hands and a little battery-operated friend.
She was pretty sure it would be different with a real, live man, but since that wasn’t a reality, Sienna had figured out to take care of her own body’s needs. Now it suddenly didn’t seem enough.
As her hand slipped into the tub and ran along her soft heat, she couldn’t help but think of Carson.
She’d never touched herself or gotten off while thinking of a specific man before; no one had attracted her like that. But since she worked in the sex industry, she needed a release after breathing the sexually charged air at the club, so she took care of herself.
Allowing herself to feel some sort of pleasure was a big step for Lila. She’d been raised to service a man in his release and making babies. Never once had she thought about her own body and its needs when growing up.
Even now as she took care of feeling good, it wasn’t the kind of multicolored fireworks Sienna had heard other women talk about around the Tunnel.
It just took the edge off.
But at the moment, her own finger was deep inside herself, the palm of her hand hitting her most sensitive spot, her mind on Carson, it wasn’t even beginning to take the edge off.
No man had ever captured her attention enough to warrant what she was doing with him solely in mind.
Thinking of his broad shoulders, his dimple, and the glimpse she’d had of his tattoo, shivers burst through Sienna as her orgasm hit, and she wanted to do it all over again.