“Have you talked to Danny?”
I nod. “Yeah, he stayed with me a couple of weekends ago when he came home from school for a visit. We went out and had dinner and stuff.”
“No regrets there?”
“No.” I laugh. We’ve had many, many long talks about Danny. He did go to jail the same night I did, but he was never charged either. “Just a friend. A very good friend.”
“I like him. He’s worked hard to change his life as well. And I’m glad he and his sister got away from that family.”
“Me too,” I agree. “You don’t get to choose your family, right?”
“Right,” Judge Otero says. “You’re stuck with them until you’re old enough to choose your own. He’ll find a new one. He’s on his way.”
“I think I’m on my way too.” I don’t want to push Judge Otero into a decision. I understand that learning to be a responsible parent takes time. But I really want to move forward and I want today to be the day.
“Have you made a decision about where you’ll live?”
My lease is up in a few days. Mateo paid for the first six months, and that’s just about over. “I… I don’t know yet. I might be seeing Mateo tonight?” It comes off as a question because it’s not really up to me. “His last code said, Congratulations. So I think he’s expecting a celebration. But…” I hesitate. “It’s up to you. And I respect your decision, Judge. So if I’m not ready yet…” I have to stop because I want to cry. But I gather myself together and take a deep breath. “I’ll accept that.”
I’ll go home and sob is what I’ll do, but I’m not going to try to influence his decision with that threat. I’m done skating through life. I want to earn it. I need to work for it.
He looks down at my file and then signs a piece of paper. “I think you’re more than ready, Shannon. I think you’re going to make a great mother.”
He leans forward and takes Olivia’s little hand. She loves him to death and shoots him a smile. “You had a rough start for sure. But your mommy loves you a lot.”
It was difficult weaning her off the codeine, but she’s better now. She no longer cries because of the withdrawal, and the foster family did such a great job with her. I’m eternally grateful.
Judge Otero looks back at me and smiles. “Tell Mateo that congratulations are indeed in order and I wish you both the best.”