“I can’t understand the answer to my problem unless I understand the process of working it out. Are you my problem, Mateo? Or my answer?”
“Which do you want me to be?”
“Both.”
“Fuck,” he yells, lying back on the blanket and holding his hands out towards the sky like he’s giving thanks. “Holy fuck.” And then he laughs. “Finally.”
“You are the biggest asshole ever.”
“Thank you,” he says, still laughing.
“I think I hate you right now.”
“I don’t care,” he says, turning over on his stomach and resting his head in his hands so he can see my face. ”You’ll love me in the end.”
Chapter Twenty-One
“Do you want to hear the real story of how I first saw you?”
We’ve been lying here in silence for a few minutes. I’ve been looking up at the stars and he’s been looking at me. I guess he figured I needed a little time to wrap my head around his methods. “Yes,” I say, still lost in thought.
“I was sitting on my porch, rebuilding the carburetor for the Camaro. This was last month.”
I turn over on my stomach and rest my cheek on my hands so I can watch him as he talks.
“And I saw this girl come out of the gate from the apartments across Broadway. She was wearing a black leather jacket that screamed chick and don’t fuck with me at the same time. I haven’t seen you wear it again, but I dig the belt.”
“It’s too hot here,” I say. “I’m used to the cold.”
“And she had on some ripped jeans and black Chucks,” he says, picking up one of my shoes and waving it for a second. “Her long brown hair was fanning out behind her, blowing in the wind. And she was walking across the bridge over the 5 like she was the boss of the world.”
I chuckle at that image.
“Like she was daring it to come mess with her, she had a lesson to teach it. You told me you felt invisible when that girl spoke to you in Spanish, right? Like she talked to you before, but she never saw you. And that day it was all too much. She missed it. She missed everything that made you you. But she didn’t talk to you in Spanish because she missed you, Shannon. You’re an unmissable girl. You’re a fucking explosion in a bottle waiting to happen. People talk to you because they can’t help but see you.”
“You’re stupid.”
“Anyway, back to my story about that girl. I swear to God, I got up off my porch and I followed her. She didn’t go far, just over the bridge to the burger place. And I know Jose, so I went over and by the time I got there, she was sitting at a table in the back, waiting for her food. I ordered a burger too, and sat near the front, facing her, so I could get a better look. And I noticed that she dropped her bossy attitude with Jose when he came with her meal. She liked him, I could tell. He’s married, has a pot belly and was covered in grease, so I figured that she considered him a friend and was not interested in fucking him on the table.”
“Jesus, Mateo. Please. I don’t need that visual.”
“And I thought to myself, I need to be her friend. I never missed you, Shannon. I saw you immediately and I wanted to be your friend.”
I smile at that. So much better than I need to fuck her in a classroom.
“She ate, walked home. I followed behind, watched her go back into the apartment. So I went through the gate and saw her exit on the other side of the pool where the alley was. And when I got to the alley, she was gone. Just poof, disappeared.”
“I was already on my patio.”
“Right. And then I got this call from Bowman the next day asking me did I want a job teaching trig to a student who needed to make up a credit in order to graduate. He told me the whole credit situation and I was like, shit, I dunno. I have this dissertation to write. I don’t think I have time. But he said just stop by school on January fourth and I could meet you. He told me you needed help. Like, really needed help. He told me about your sister and Jason. The kid, all of it.”
“What a dick. I hate people talking about me.”
“So I dropped by and I came in just as you sat down to talk. And I swear to God, I lost my breath when I realized you were her. So I took the job and I promised Bowman I’d help you.” He smiles at me and I might just fall in love. “But I heard you begging to get out of the class and I decided to make you mine and make you learn at the same time.”
“It’s pretty unorthodox. We could get caught.”
“Do we care, Shannon? Do we care if we get caught?”
“I don’t think so,” I answer, chuckling.