Edge(5)

***



Dell





As soon as I closed the front door, I heard the thump of Kyler’s feet hitting the floor as he slid down from a stool at the kitchen island.

“Mom!” he cried, running to me. He’d grown into a five-year-old way too fast, and I hoped he wouldn’t outgrow his exuberance over me getting home anytime soon.

“Hey, how was school?” I squeezed him into a hug and we walked into the kitchen.

“Fine. We’re making spaghetti.” He gave me a gap-toothed grin and headed back to his stool, where he was arranging three sets of silverware and wrapping them into paper napkins.

“Hey,” my roommate Sadie said, glancing up from a steaming pot of water on the stove.

“How was your day?” I asked.

She shrugged and wrinkled her nose. “I got assigned to write a story about glaciers. How do I make glaciers interesting?”

“If anyone can do it, you can.”

Sadie had been my closest friend since our sophomore year of college. Now she was a freelance magazine writer, and she worked her travel schedule around mine to help with Kyler. I always told her I owed her more favors than I could count, but she swore she enjoyed it. And Kyler loved her.

“You need to call your dad,” Sadie said, arching her brows seriously. “Like now.”

I rolled my eyes and grabbed a soda from the fridge. “He’s left me three voicemails already. Thank God he doesn’t text.”

“He’s called me four times,” she said. “And every time I thought it was that guy I met at the airport until I saw your dad’s number on my screen. Call him back so I can stop getting my hopes up.”

I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and watched her stir the pasta. “He’ll call, sweetie. He didn’t ask for your number so he could not use it.”

“Please.” She glared at me. “He’s a man, Dell. They were made to confound us.”

“Don’t I know it.” I sighed deeply. “I’m surrounded by them all day.”

Kyler looked at me expectantly and I couldn’t help smiling. The sandy brown hair that looked just like his father’s was getting shaggy around the ears.

“You’ll be a good man, Ky,” I said, leaning my elbows on the island so we were at eye level.

“Don’t ever ask for a woman’s number and then not call her,” Sadie said from the stove.

“I won’t,” he promised. “Mom, Colby asked me today if I have two moms. You’re my only mom, right?”

“Two moms?” I asked, trying not to laugh. “Why would he say that?”

“Because sometimes you pick me up from school and sometimes Aunt Sadie does. He asked if she was my babysitter and I said she lives with us.”

“Oh. Well, I’m your only mom, honey. I wish Aunt Sadie was our family, but she’s not. And I’m not …. with anyone, and I don’t intend to be, but if I was, I like men.”

“Okay.” Kyler shrugged. “I thought maybe since I don’t really have a dad, maybe Aunt Sadie could be like my dad.”

“Hey,” Sadie turned and her dark ponytail swung through the air. “I told you I’m getting my mustache waxed Thursday, mister.”

Kyler giggled and I was grateful for the chance to think about what he’d said before responding.

“Ky, you do have a dad. He just lives far away and can’t get here a lot to see you because of work. But he’s very proud of you and he loves you. Do you want to call him?”

He gave me a solemn look. “So, you like men, but not dad? Because we could move where he is, and then—”

My heart tugged so hard I actually felt it. This, right here, was the result of my stubborn nature. My son was hurting. Why hadn’t I married my ex when he’d asked? I knew the answer – it was because I didn’t love him. But I loved Kyler, and he was missing out on so much time with his dad.

“Honey, your dad and I both love you to the moon and back,” I said, stroking his hair. “But we don’t love each other the way people should to get married.”

“Okay,” he said. “When is dinner gonna be ready?”

Was that it? I was bracing for a conversation that would fill me with enough guilt to break out the wine later.

Sadie extended her hand toward me and rolled her eyes. I saw her name for my dad, ‘Papa Price’, on her buzzing cell phone screen. “Five,” she said dramatically. “Five crushed hopes today. Answer the phone, Dell.”

“You sound like the Count on Sesame Street,” Kyler observed. “That’s five — five crushed hopes, ah-ah.”

I smiled and slid the screen to answer the call. “Hey, Dad.”