Edge(37)

***



Dell





Luke was magic on the ice in his last game. He played hard and fast, and the crowd loved him. They gave him a standing ovation at the end of the game, and I cheered along with them, my throat tight with emotion.

I was bursting with pride in him. He’d put his mind to coming back from his injury and done it. It hadn’t been easy, and I was awed by his commitment to hockey. As much as I’d miss him, I wanted to see him succeed. He was back in contention for the Olympic team, and the thought of him making it gave me chills of excitement.

It was hugs and high-fives from all the guys in the locker room. Worried I’d cry from knowing this was his last time with us, I went to hide out in my office. He caught me just as I made it in the door.

“Dell?”

I turned and met his beautiful icy blue gaze. I’d cry for sure when he said goodbye to me.

“I’m officially not on this team anymore.”

What was he saying? Was he going to kiss me, and melt me into a puddle right here, in my office? I swallowed, wanting him to do it and afraid he would at the same time. I was the one at risk in this non-relationship. I was the one who could fall so hard I might never find my way back up. He was a pro at not getting attached. I could only manage it by never getting close, and I’d blown that possibility with him.

“Spend the night with me,” he said, his tone low and his eyes fixed intently on mine. “I’ll be at the Piermont. Room 311.”

My heart pounded and I opened my mouth to speak. This was it. I could go the safe route and always wonder what it would’ve been like if he’d touched me. Or I could let go of my inhibition and be his for one night.

It wasn’t even a choice. But still I couldn’t make myself answer. I reached for my exam table, holding it to brace against my erratic heartbeat and the swimming sensation in my head.

“I hope you’ll come,” he said softly. “But I understand if you don’t.”

He turned and left the room. I watched his back, knowing he was leaving the locker room for the last time. There’d be no more stolen glances or late night practice sessions. He was going back to his real life, and I’d be left with memories of a few weeks that had changed me, opened me to new possibilities.

Every time a man asked me out, I shot him down. But maybe the safety of being alone was overrated. Maybe it would feel good to have a man in my life. I couldn’t imagine wanting anyone but Luke right now, but that would pass in time.

And tonight the wanting would stop. I’d finally get to have him in all the ways I craved. I just hoped I’d be enough – that I’d do the right things and for once, not be awkward and uncertain.





Chapter 7


Dell





Sadie stood behind me, her hands resting on my shoulders as we both looked at my reflection in the full length mirror.

“You look gorgeous,” she said. “Really, Dell.”

She’d loaned me some clothes that were sexier than anything I owned — a pair of worn jeans that molded to my body and a silky, black v-neck shirt. She wrapped a silver necklace around my neck and I held my hair back so she could clasp it.

“Heels or fuck me boots?” she pondered.

“Heels. He knows he’ll be fucking me and I’d fall on my ass trying to get the boots off.”

“Always so practical.” She sorted through the hanging racks of shoes in her closet.

“I’m a horrible mother.” I sat down on the edge of her bed, my shoulders sinking. “My son is asleep in the next room and I’m getting hookered up to get laid.”

Sadie laughed and pulled out a pair of black heels with leopard trim. “Just because you’re a mom doesn’t mean you’re not a woman. You’ve been celibate for years, girl.”

I nodded slowly. “And this is a one-time thing. He’s leaving in the morning and we won’t see each other again.”

“There you go.” She handed me the shoes and I slipped them on. “Have fun. I’m living vicariously through you, so no holding back. I better hear you screaming his name from here.”

My cheeks warmed at the thought. “I’m not good at this, Sade. Even back when I was getting action, it was up against a locker. I never had to do anything. What do I do?”

“You’ve given blowjobs, haven’t you?”

I squirmed uncomfortably. “Not really.”

“What the shit? How did I not know that?”

“It’s not like I brag about it or anything.”

She sat down next to me. “You’ll be fine. Follow his cues. When he likes it, you’ll know.”

My chest tightened in panic. “How will I know when he doesn’t?”