“Don’t know, man,” he said. “Maybe she’s in her office.”
I grabbed a towel, wiped my face off and headed that way. The training room that doubled as her office was empty and the lights weren’t even on yet. I went out to the hallway and paced a couple times. Where the hell was she? The locker room was filling up, and she was always one of the first here.
Though I needed to get my skates on, I wanted to talk to her first. I leaned against the wall outside her office to wait.
“Hudson.” Tanner walked past without even glancing my way, meaning I was supposed to follow him into his office. I pushed off the wall with a stab of aggravation.
Once I got into his large, sparsely furnished office, I stood in front of his desk, hands folded in front of me. I’d learned to respect my coaches from an old school one in high school who made us skate laps to make up for flopping into a chair in his office without permission or asking him what he wanted.
“Have a seat,” Tanner said, settling into his dark wheeled chair. I sat down and waited. He organized a few papers on his desk before speaking.
“You had a bad game last night.”
I nodded. Was I getting bad news from the coach of the minor league team I was rehabbing with? The thought made my stomach pitch with nausea. Fucking John London. I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for that asshole’s cheap hit.
“I just wanted to ask if there’s anything you need. Be straight with me. There’s probably not much I can teach you about hockey at this point, but I’m here if you need to talk. Rehab can be stressful.”
“Thanks. I thought the rough patch was behind me, but maybe not.”
Tanner rubbed his chin and studied me. “Maybe you just had a bad night. You’ve got other stresses.”
I furrowed my brow in question.
“Your father,” he said. I sighed deeply and looked at my lap. How in the fuck did Tanner know about that?
“You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of, Luke. I’ve heard your dad’s overbearing at times and I know you’re under pressure.”
“Just a little,” I muttered, shaking my head.
“I imagine it’s lonely at your level. You come here and you’re surrounded by guys who want what you’ve got.”
“What I had,” I corrected.
“You’ve still got it. Most of the pressure on you is coming from yourself. Just let up. You have to be aware how much of this game is mental. If you slip up, don’t let your control slide away. I watched it happen last night. One mistake and you never regained your focus.”
I nodded, his words hitting home. Mental strength was every bit as important – if not more so – than physical strength in this game.
“I’m in a better place today,” I said. “I kind of boiled over last night and I’m ready to work hard tonight.”
Tanner nodded. “Good. Go get your knee wrapped before we skate.”
I rose, grateful I’d been given an excuse to wait for Dell. She had to be here by now. Guys needed worked on. I didn’t, but I’d get my knee wrapped just for the chance to talk to her for a few minutes.
When I got back to her office, it was still dark. I went to the locker room and pulled my skates from my locker, shoving them to the floor.
“Where the hell is Dell?” I grumbled to no one in particular.
“Haven’t seen her, but I need my shoulder rubbed,” Scroggins said. I rubbed a hand over my face and got my phone out of my locker to text her. I waited for a response, but hadn’t heard back when I headed out for our skate.
I’d finished my second lap when I saw her walking toward the locker room, bundled into a dark coat. Her head was down and she never looked over.
When she finally came out to the bench, I skated her way. She sat water bottles on the wall and turned to go back to the locker room.
“Hey,” I said, sliding to a quick stop. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah.” She still wouldn’t look at me. “I’ve got a lot to do to get ready for the game.”
With that, she left. I stared at her retreating back, wondering what was up. She had to be upset about something, because I knew she couldn’t be mad at me. I’d have to catch her in private after our skate and talk to her.
I was about to push off and resume skating when I caught a glimpse of a tall figure passing in the tunnel. A closer look confirmed that it was Todd Landis, wearing a poorly-fitted suit and a shit-eating grin. I wanted to jump over the wall and follow him. He was going to the locker room – probably to hit on Dell. Smug fucker.
But I had to pretend she was just a trainer to me. I started my next lap, nervous energy propelling me. I’d planned to come here, play a couple games, return to my team and never look back. But the longer I stayed, the more difficult that seemed. I needed to focus, play hard and move on. Lapses in concentration right now could cost me my career.