"I'm going to discuss . . . me sitting out."
It was easy to read in his face how difficult the words were for him.
"I'm sorry."
I was sorry. I hated to make him do this. Not enough that I could fake a smile and tell him to go on ahead without me. Definitely not that much.
"Don't apologize," he said, smiling just a little. "Never be afraid to tell me how you feel, Bella. If this is what you need . . ." He shrugged. "You are my first priority."
"I didn't mean it that way-like you have to choose me over your family."
"I know that. Besides, that's not what you asked. You gave me two alternatives that you could live with, and I chose the one that I could live with. That's how compromise is supposed to work."
I leaned forward and rested my forehead against his chest. "Thank you," I whispered.
"Anytime," he answered, kissing my hair. "Anything."
We didn't move for a long moment. I kept my face hidden, pressed against his shirt. Two voices struggled inside me. One that wanted to be good and brave, and one that told the good one to keep her mouth shut.
"Who's the third wife?" he asked me suddenly.
"Huh?" I said, stalling. I didn't remember having had that dream again.
"You were mumbling something about 'the third wife' last night. The rest made a little sense, but you lost me there."
"Oh. Um, yeah. That was just one of the stories that I heard at the bonfire the other night." I shrugged. "I guess it stuck with me."
Edward leaned away from me and cocked his head to the side, probably confused by the uncomfortable edge to my voice.
Before he could ask, Alice appeared in the kitchen doorway with a sour expression.
"You're going to miss all the fun," she grumbled.
"Hello, Alice," he greeted her. He put one finger under my chin and tilted my face up to kiss me goodbye.
"I'll be back later tonight," he promised me. "I'll go work this out with the others, rearrange things."
"Okay."
"There's not much to arrange," Alice said. "I already told them. Emmett is pleased."
Edward sighed. "Of course he is."
He walked out the door, leaving me to face Alice.
She glared at me.
"I'm sorry," I apologized again. "Do you think this will make it more dangerous for you?"
She snorted. "You worry too much, Bella. You're going to go prematurely gray."
"Why are you upset, then?"
"Edward is such a grouch when he doesn't get his way. I'm just anticipating living with him for the next few months." She made a face. "I suppose, if it keeps you sane, it's worth it. But I wish you could control the pessimism, Bella. It's so unnecessary."
"Would you let Jasper go without you?" I demanded.
Alice grimaced. "That's different."
"Sure it is."
"Go clean yourself up," she ordered me. "Charlie will be home in fifteen minutes, and if you look this ragged he's not going to want to let you out again."
Wow, I'd really lost the whole day. It felt like such a waste. I was glad I wouldn't always have to squander my time with sleeping.
I was entirely presentable when Charlie got home-fully dressed, hair decent, and in the kitchen putting his dinner on the table. Alice sat in Edward's usual place, and this seemed to make Charlie's day.
"Howdy, Alice! How are you, hon?"
"I'm fine, Charlie, thanks."
"I see you finally made it out of bed, sleepyhead," he said to me as I sat beside him, before turning back to Alice. "Everyone's talking about that party your parents threw last night. I'll bet you've got one heck of a clean-up job ahead of you."
Alice shrugged. Knowing her, it was already done.
"It was worth it," she said. "It was a great party."
"Where's Edward?" Charlie asked, a little grudgingly. "Is he helping clean up?"
Alice sighed and her face turned tragic. It was probably an act, but it was too perfect for me to be positive. "No. He's off planning the weekend with Emmett and Carlisle."
"Hiking again?"
Alice nodded, her face suddenly forlorn. "Yes. They're all going, except me. We always go backpacking at the end of the school year, sort of a celebration, but this year I decided I'd rather shop than hike, and not one of them will stay behind with me. I'm abandoned."
Her face puckered, the expression so devastated that Charlie leaned toward her automatically, one hand reaching out, looking for some way to help. I glared at her suspiciously. What was she doing?
"Alice, honey, why don't you come stay with us," Charlie offered. "I hate to think of you all alone in that big house."