“Is that the only way you can be with me?” I rasped. “To pretend I’m not one of them?”
He closed the distance between us in three long steps, crushing me against him.
“Of course it isn’t.” He stroked my hair and kissed my forehead. “I don’t see it that way. I don’t see you that way.”
His words were meant to comfort me, but they didn’t. Because I knew it was true. That in his mind, he had put us all into neat little boxes. He had separated the truth of the situation from reality. He may have wanted to believe I was someone else to ease his own conscience, but it didn’t change anything.
“You didn’t tell the police what he did,” I said, getting back to the topic at hand. “So that means you must be planning something.”
He pulled away and gave me a hurt expression like I was defending the other team.
“I know what he did was wrong.” I pulled him back to me. “But, Ryland, this needs to stop now. I’m here, aren’t I? I took care of you. That shows you how I feel about you. I’m here. I don’t want to lose you, but I don’t want to lose them either.”
“That’s the whole point of the game, Brighton.” He gave me a sad smile. “Somebody has to lose.”
***
Twenty minutes after Ryland left, Matt and Nicole showed up at the door.
“You’ll take care of her?” Matt asked, lingering in the hallway with a frown.
“Of course I will,” I assured him.
“Go.” Nicole shooed him away. “You’re going to be late.”
Matt left, reluctantly, and Nicole sighed as she wandered over to an empty barstool.
“I don’t need to be babysat. It was a stupid mistake.”
“But it wasn’t the first time it’s happened,” I pointed out. “Everybody’s worried about you.”
“I know,” she grumbled. “But it was just too much, you know?”
“I do.” I blew the hair out of my eyes and collapsed beside her.
“How are things going with you anyway?” she asked.
“Well, they’d be better if I didn’t think my boyfriend and my brother still want to kill each other,” I replied without humor.
Nicole nodded and tapped her fingers on the marble countertop. “What are you going to do?”
“What can I do? Neither one of them will be honest with me. And Norma… well she won’t listen to reason either.”
Nicole nodded, obviously not knowing what to say. Like me, she had no idea how to get out of this vortex, but I didn’t want to keep pulling her down with me. So instead, I put on a smile, and tugged her hand as I stood up from the breakfast bar.
“C’mon, I want to show you something.”
***
“Brighton, these are gorgeous.” Nicole ran her fingers over the tutus with the first honest happiness I’d seen on her face in a while.
“Thank you.” I blushed. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with them, but… I thought it would be nice to do something good. Something to honor Sophia’s memory.”
Her name felt strange on my tongue, and the same familiar burn of guilt was there whenever I said it. I tried to push the image of the mangled girl in the car from my mind. I wanted to think of her as the tiny dancer with the golden halo instead.
Nicole clapped a hand over her mouth and shuddered, and immediately I thought this was the worst idea I’d ever come up with.
“I knew it.” I gathered up the Tulle and tried to put it away. “This was so stupid of me.”
“No.” Nicole reached out and stopped me. “It wasn’t. It’s perfect.”
She smiled through the tears, but I wasn’t entirely convinced.
“Did you know that this machine was his moms?” she asked.
Something swelled inside my chest as I swung my gaze to the vintage sewing machine. “It was?”
“Yes. That’s why it’s so perfect. It’s like she meant for you to have it.”
“I can’t believe Ryland let me use it…”
“I couldn’t think of anyone who would put it to better use,” Nicole said softly. “And I want to help you with this project.”
“Really?”
“Yes.” She nodded. “I mean, I can’t sew. But I want to help find a use for these. Like a charity or something.”
“That would be nice,” I hedged. “But what do you think Ryland’s going to say about all this?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “And honestly, I don’t care either.”
I stared at her, shocked by her bluntness.
“He isn’t the only one who lost them,” she ranted. “And everybody grieves differently. While he’s running around plotting revenge to get him through, I have nothing. And I want to do this. I want to remember the good parts of their lives.”
The passion and fire in her eyes as she spoke made the decision for me. I hadn’t seen Nicole look so determined the entire time I’d known her. And right now, this was exactly what she needed.
“Okay,” I agreed. “Then we’re really going to do this.”
“Yes.” She smiled. “Ryland doesn’t even have to know.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Over the next two months, Nicole and I worked tirelessly on our project during any spare time we had. It was difficult keeping it from Ryland, but I made sure to keep him out of the sewing room and limit my activities to the time he was at work.
Brayden and I still weren’t speaking, but Norma-Jean was. That morning she’d informed me Ryland had cut her off, much to her dismay. A spark of hope bloomed inside of me, and I couldn’t extinguish it with any amount of logic.
Which was why the minute Ryland walked in the door that evening, I was all over him.
He hit the door with an oomph as I pressed my naked body against him, fumbling to get his buttons undone quick enough.
Ryland didn’t argue as he discarded his suit jacket and unzipped his pants enough to free himself. I clung to his body when he picked me up and spun me around, seeking out the tender flesh of my neck with his teeth. He fucked me hard and fast against the wall, rattling the picture frames and shattering a vase beside us in the process.
When he’d filled me with his release and collapsed against the wall, I finished undressing him and tugged him along to the sofa behind me.
“You’re going to kill me,” he teased, pulling me onto his lap. “You’ve been insatiable lately.”
It was true, though I didn’t know why. My entire body was a live wire, constantly humming with sexual energy. Every part of me was tender, including my breasts, and the slightest touch turned me into a useless puddle of hormones.
“Are you complaining?” I kissed my way down his chest.
“Does it look like I’m complaining?” he gripped his hardening cock in his hand.
I grinned and pushed him back inside of me where I planned for him to spend the rest of the night.
***
I barely made it to the toilet before I heaved up the contents of my stomach. Ryland trailed behind me, trying to hold back my hair while I swatted him away.
“Ugh, don’t,” I groaned. “I need to take a shower.”
He frowned and retrieved his phone from his pocket. “I think I should call the doctor.”
I reached up and stopped him as I stood on shaky legs. “I’m fine, Ryland,” I assured him. “It’s just the flu.”
He didn’t look like he wanted to leave, but he had an important business dinner tonight. He’d been talking about it all week.
“I’ll stay in bed all night,” I promised. “Okay?”
He nodded and pocketed his phone reluctantly. “I’m still going to have Nicole come by to check on you.”
He leaned down and kissed me on the forehead before he walked out the door, leaving me in peace to my sore stomach. Something strange had been going on with me lately, but I chalked it up to stress.
I stepped into the shower and scrubbed myself clean, enjoying the hot water on my skin. But the incessant ringing of my cell phone from the next room started to threaten my enjoyment, and I turned off the tap in frustration.
I had no idea who would be calling me repeatedly, but I guessed it was probably Ryland. He worried about me obsessively whenever something minor happened.
I padded towards the bedroom and picked up my phone, scrolling through the messages. Six missed calls from Norma-Jean. I dialed her number back and swallowed the lump in my throat when she answered on the first ring.
“What’s going on?”
“They know,” she blurted, her voice completely hysterical.
While Norma was always a little dramatic, I’d never heard her quite like this. There was real fear in her voice as she repeated the words over and over.
“Who knows what?” I demanded.
“They know Brayden’s his son,” she continued. “And that he didn’t finish the job. They’re coming after him, so he’s coming to get you.”
“Norma, I don’t understand what you’re talking about.” I rubbed my temples in exhaustion. “You have to calm down and explain.”
“Frankie’s wife found out about Brayden,” she said. “And she put a hit out on him. But Brayden thinks she knows about you too that’s why he’s coming to San Francisco.”