Earth Star(115)
‘Of course.’
‘When I got the message on my lookup that we’d gone to war status … It was a false alarm, but I’ll never, ever forget how I felt while I was on my way back to the base. Humanity was at war. Earth would be the first planet to be attacked. If we lost Earth, then everyone I knew and cared about would die, all the Handicapped would die, and every Handicapped baby born in the future would …’
I broke off for a second to get my voice back under control. ‘Well, Drago kept his head, we didn’t attack the sphere then, and we mustn’t do it now. If it has that strong a defence against meteors, just think what it may do against a real attack.’
Fian pulled a face in acknowledgement.
‘Threat team say this nardle excavation has worked, because it’s given people time to calm down,’ I continued. ‘It’s vital they stay calm and keep their faith in the Military even when we fail to find anything. They must blame me personally, and whether that’s fair or not doesn’t matter. I’d cheerfully die to prevent even the slightest risk of a real war. I don’t have to die, I just have to stay alive and look a complete idiot.’
‘It doesn’t have to be you that takes the blame,’ said Fian.
‘It does have to be me, Fian. I’m sure Colonel Torrek would take personal responsibility, but I can’t let him do it. People need to keep their trust in him and the Military, so it has to be blamed on me messing things up. Gaius Devon will enjoy crowing he was right about the idiot ape kid, and it’ll confirm everyone’s low opinion of the Handicapped, but that’s still better than attacking the sphere.’
I shrugged. ‘I’m going to be horribly unpopular, but I’m sure the Military will do everything they can to protect me from the newzies, find me somewhere to hide until …’
Fian interrupted me. ‘It won’t be you, Jarra. It’ll be us. I’ll be with you.’
‘That’s why we need to talk now. I have to limit the damage I do to other people.’ I took a deep breath because this bit was very hard to say. ‘I obviously can’t join the Tell clan now, because I’d be a dreadful embarrassment to them. There’s our Twoing contract too. It expires tonight, and it’s best if we delay renewing it until after …’
He interrupted again. ‘I know what you’re going to suggest, and you can forget it. I’m not going to wait and see if we find an alien device, have a Twoing contract if you’re a success or dump you if you’re a failure. We’re in this together, win or lose.’
‘But what about your parents? When I’m being ridiculed on the newzies in every sector …’
Fian pulled a face. ‘I’ve had dozens of mail messages from them. Naturally they’re shocked by me being in the Military. My mother is worried about the danger. Civilians can expect to live to celebrate their hundredth before finally dying a peaceful death in a tank when their body fails to make it through another rejuvenation cycle, but a lot of Military get killed in action.’
He sighed. ‘I understand my mother wanting to protect me, but she has to let me make my own decisions. My father … Well, he’s ranting about my great-grandfather being forcibly dumped on Hercules by the Military. He said he kept quiet about me being awarded the Earth Star, even came to the ceremony to show he accepted it wasn’t my fault, but he’s furious I’ve actually joined the enemy.’
I waved my hands in disbelief. ‘Disobeying Alien Contact programme is a crime against humanity, so you had no choice. What did your father expect you to do, refuse and go to prison? In theory, you could even be executed.’
‘From the tone of his last message, my father would have preferred me to be shot. It’s … it’s as stupid as Krath’s dad expecting him to tunnel his way out of Ark. Worrying about some ancient family grudge when humanity is making the first contact with aliens, refusing to help when something is threatening the survival of the human race, would be …’
‘So that’s why your parents’ attitude changed after the medal ceremony,’ I said. ‘All those politely stilted conversations weren’t just because of me being Handicapped. If they didn’t like you getting the Earth Star, then when they saw me being given the Artemis … I probably babbled about my grandmother being a Military Colonel as well.’
Fian shook his head. ‘My father didn’t like that, but my mother … You remember I said there was some long running family stuff that was reaching crisis point?’