Earth(96)

Sarah.

His lips refused to form the name out loud. He couldn't move, except for his unwrapped hand, twitching out of control.

Sarah's Shade descended. As she landed on the ledge in front of Shawn, his hand twitched faster.

"Okay, then." She took her human form, crossed her arms, and met Shawn's blue eyes. "Justify your actions."

Shawn swallowed. "What?"

She eyed him, tapping her foot. "It's why you're here, isn't it? You cannot obtain Akasha without a clear conscience."

Shawn pressed his lips together, tight. He knew he'd have to defend himself to Sarah; he just didn't think it would be right away. His practiced speech flew out of his head the moment he saw her. "It was the Great Rite," the words tumbled out of his mouth. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking down.

Sarah's eyes grew wide. "The Great Rite isn't about rape. It is supposed to be consensual. And usually done metaphorically – with a knife and a Chalice."

His eyes met hers. "That's not how we did it."

"This isn't about us any longer," her words were clipped and full of fury. "You made sure of that when you raped Kaitlyn."

"I was…I mean, I am trying to end the cycle," Shawn's tone slowly matched hers. "But to do that, I need to be able to wield the same power as a Gaia. You know what kind of magical energy the Great Rite can invoke. Kaitlyn is strong; I needed to take drastic steps in order to tap into her power."

"Oh, there is no doubt you tapped her – on several occasions."

Shawn's face grew red. "Yes, but it was always within the circle of elements, and it always raised the energy I sought."

Sarah's voice went soft, "Yet it wasn't enough. She escaped, and you continue to seek more energy. What went wrong?"

He hesitated, trying to think back to the events before solidifying them with words. "It's like, I gained energy from the Great Rite – but so did she. I took precautions to make sure that didn't happen. I kept her weak. But, I don't know…" Shawn walked away, then back again, kicking the ground with the toe of his boot. "I keep going over everything in my head. I was wrong about a lot." Shawn's eyebrows rose, his clear blue eyes going glossy.

Sarah took a step forward. "We were right about some things, you know. The Seven did it all wrong. But there always has to be a balance." She laid a hand on his cheek.

He leaned into her touch.

Sarah continued, "It's a balance you can't maintain on your own; and neither can she. It takes both feminine and masculine energy. But you've tainted that."

Sarah morphed back into her gaseous form, and floated through Shawn. For a moment, her essence filled him, reminding him of what it used to feel like lying in bed, wrapped around one other until early afternoon each day.

She passed, leaving Shawn as empty as when he had lost her. He crumpled to his knees, hugging his chest as though he would fall apart any second.

Her voice echoed behind him, "You violated a sacred act, and it is not me that can offer forgiveness. You must seek it from Akasha herself."

Shawn nodded, throat too choked for words. He removed the Athame from its sheath on his hip. He wrapped the spell written down on a small piece of paper around the blade. He was right to think he would not be able to say it out loud – not this time. He touched the tip of the knife to the ground, his forehead, then his lips, and whispered, "Sarah."

Pain ripped through his abdomen and up to his chest. He held himself to the ground, resisting the urge to spin and grab hold of his former partner. There wasn't a roar as with Arianna, just a soft whisper of wind, and then he was alone.

Shawn returned to his body, feeling more hollow than ever. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He had freed the last of them, Akasha should be his. He slumped down on his bed, removing his shirt, shoes, and pants, then laying back.

Do I even want Akasha anymore, he wondered. What's the point? Sarah is gone for good.

He folded his hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling, willing the ache in his chest to go away.

Just as he closed his eyes, the entire room vibrated. Shawn jolted out of bed.

An explosion?

No, the shaking continued, knocking his chair over. He left the room and ran down three flights of stairs in his boxers.

"What was that?" he asked the Earth on duty. "Earthquake?"

She turned from the window. "Kind of, sir." She stared at his bare chest.

"Don't call me sir, and what do you mean kind of?" He grabbed a spare jacket lying on a nearby chair.

She snapped her eyes away. "The movement started close by. There is a fault line under the Rockies, of course – but I'm not aware of any under the downtown area."