"Fine."
I turned on my heel.
"You might want to consider changing your name, at the very least. Miss Spy," he said from behind me.
I glanced down at the papers I held. Right where I scribbled it, Kaitlyn Alder stood out like a sore thumb. My cheeks grew hot, and I was glad my back was to Clay. I walked off, erasing the name as I went.
Chapter 28
Kaitlyn, Left Behind
"Lucy Evermore," I repeated the name to the admin clerk set up just in front of the kitchens. She put a checkmark next to the name I’d inserted to replace my own. I moved forward in line, not bothering to hide the triumphant smile on my face. The meal rations list was delivered to the kitchens daily. Thankfully, it was always copied over from the previous day – the admin clerk adding or subtracting names as necessary. Sometimes the exact same list was resubmitted. My "name" would forever be on the list. Unless I died.
I shivered as one of the servers slopped unidentifiable stew on my plate.
"It ain't that bad," she mumbled.
I moved on, finding space on the crowded logs. Loud groups of people surrounded me, everyone buzzing with excitement over the gala tonight. Already I saw condoms being passed around. The women were hiking up their pant legs and rolling up their sleeves, baring as much skin as possible.
I hunched over, with my plate balanced on my knees, keeping my head down.
I'll eat and leave, I told myself. If Clay isn't here by then, I'll catch up with him another time.
Tonight was not a good night to be waiting around. I needed to be hiding out in my tent. I scraped the last bits of stew into my mouth with the crude, wooden spoon. I moved to stand when a heavy hand clamped down on my shoulder, stopping me cold.
"Have a partner yet for tonight, sweet thing?"
I brushed the hand off my shoulder. "Yes, as a matter of fact…"
I drifted off at the laughing, and turned, craning my neck up. I didn't have to crane it that far. Clay stood behind me, nearly spilling his plate of food his shoulders shook so hard.
I held in my growl. "Careful, there are no seconds."
He squeezed in beside me on the log. "Sorry, couldn't resist. You looked so worried." He shoved a roll in his mouth and his beard moved up and down with what I could only assume was chewing. "You need to relax. Look at everyone around you – happy, excited. Then there’s you, hunched over your plate, eating like it’s your last meal."
He was right; I needed to be better at this. Starting now. I took a deep breath, leaned back, and put a smile on my face. "That better?"
He paused to look at me. "Getting there." He went back to his food.
I rolled my eyes. "What's the matter, not interested in the wares on display?" Both our eyes followed the bared, glistening abdomen that passed in front of us.
He grunted. "Better things to do. What about you?"
I smiled. "Didn't you hear? I'm in Erika's camp."
He nodded. "That'll do. Maybe you're not so bad at this."
I snorted. "Yeah – we'll see how long I last." I watched him sop up the rest of the stew on his plate with bits of roll.
Clay swallowed. "So, what's your plan?"
I shrugged. "I don't have one."
"Can't you just, you know, level the place? Take your people back?"
I took a deep breath, forcing back the lump rising in my throat. "I've lost my powers."
Clay started choking, spewing out food. I patted his back. He recovered, and looked at me.
"I hit my head pretty hard a few days back, and now I black out when I try to use them." I looked down, concentrating on spreading dirt around with the toe of my boot. "Hopefully it is just temporary."
Clay nodded. "Probably a concussion. Happened to one of the Fires a while a back. Go see Sabrina; she is the doc specializing in 'power' issues." He paused, burping. "And the baby?"
"Safe," I said.
We leaned back, allowing room for a couple glued to the hip and making out as they passed. I rolled my eyes. "What's with all the sex?"
Clay set down his plate and wiped his mouth with the tip of his beard. "Shawn encourages it. They are briefed on expectations when they arrive and even rewarded for the behavior."
A flying condom hit me in the shoulder. At least it was still in its package. I kicked it away. "Obviously not many babies are produced. What does Shawn get out of it?"
Clay laughed. "Come on – I'll walk you back to your tent."
We walked back, avoiding the larger groups of people.
"Energy," Clay said.
"What?"
"Shawn gets energy out of it."
I thought of the Great Rite, and how it had worked for me. "How?" I stopped, looking around, eyes wide. "Is he here now?"