Earth(13)

"Something like that," Susan mumbled.

I reassembled the water filter and tossed it back to Robert, feeling sick to my stomach. I had been in a boat too long, and my old motion sickness was beginning to resurface. At least Bee didn't have that problem. I watched as she leaned over the side, swiping at fish that came close. She had been born on a boat – she was right at home.

"I think that Micah knows what he's doing, better than the three of us, at least," Alex spoke from the rear of the boat.

No one responded because we all knew he was right. But it wasn't what I wanted to hear. I was tired of straining my neck around each bend of the river, hoping to catch a glimpse of Micah waiting on his boat. I was tired of counting the days that passed since our handfasting ceremony. A year and a day was the agreement, then we tie the knot for good. That had come and gone. We should have been married by now.

Shawn's voice echoed through my head, "You can't have your cake and eat it, too."

Chills ran down my spine. I was pining after one man, who was leading me straight to the only man I never wanted to see again. And I was dragging everyone left in the world I cared for with me.

"This is so stupid," I said aloud.

"Stupid!" Bee repeated gleefully. "Stupid basherd!"

"That's it," Alex said. I heard him plunge his oar into the water and the entire canoe lurched toward the bank. He whistled, motioning for the boats ahead and behind to do the same. "Quick break," he yelled at them.

Once the bow hit soil, he jumped out and jerked the canoe to shore. He threw his oar back into the boat, narrowly missing Susan's head.

"Hey!" she shouted.

He took a deep breath. He was pissed. "I’m sorry. Could you please take Bee to use the restroom while I talk to Kaitlyn for a minute?"

Oh, crap.

Susan lifted Bee out of the boat, and started for the woods.

Bee started to squirm. "Fishies! I want to see fishies!"

Susan started to point out different tree species, making it seem far more interesting than it really was. I had to give her credit. No matter how much Alex and I treated her as a punching bag, she was always great with Bee.

Another canoe came ashore, the women gravitating toward Bee. "Wanna sing a song, little miss?"

"Yes," Bee squeaked. "Stupid basherd song!"

I cringed, watching the group walk off into the woods. After they disappeared, I turned to Alex and crossed my arms, "What?"

He waited for two more canoes to come ashore and their occupants to disappear into the woods before speaking, "Do you remember when you first came to the Chakra? You were a brand new addition to our team that had been together for years. You hadn't even known you had powers until we told you. But within months, you had us all standing behind you – willing to do anything for you."

"Except one," I mumbled.

He rolled his eyes. "Besides Shawn." He picked up a rock and skipped it across the river while we waited for the last of the boats to pull in. "And with the Athame, full of Shades. You had your own little army right there in the blade, teaching you to do more things than any Gaia in history."

I stayed silent, willing him to make his point.

"Which brings us to Easter Island. When we found you there, the entire island was standing ready to fight for you."

"For Bee," I corrected him.

"For both of you. Then your triumphant return to the Chakra turned out to be not so triumphant. But you worked at it, and won each Elemental over in your own way. In a way Susan, Micah, and I hadn't been able to do ourselves. What I'm trying to say, is if all of this has taught you anything – it should be to have confidence in yourself. Cut the bad mood, quit wishing Micah were here, and act like the Gaia you really are!"

By now, Alex's fists were clenched tight by his side.

I sighed. "Alex, I know I can do this – that isn't the problem. I just…"

"What?" he asked.

"I just don't want to do it by myself. I mean, I know I have you and Susan, but I need more. I need Micah." I kicked at the rocks at my feet. "I'm…you know, lonely. It's like this empty feeling in my chest that won't go away."

He put his hand on my shoulder. "You'll get him. But let him do his thing – let him help you in his own way. Deal?"

I didn’t respond.

He lifted my chin up with the crook of his finger. "Come on, Katie. Is it a deal?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

I smiled. "Deal."

"Good. Now let's go find Bee. I think she's this way. I hear curse words."

I laughed, letting him lead. He was better at spotting the infamous three leafs and red tinted stem of poison ivy than I was. We walked to a group of three women, clapping their hands and stomping their feet in rhythm. One sang a country western song. Susan stood off to the side, stretching out her limbs and watching the show.