"But he isn't you, John."
"Damn it, Nicola. I can't take you with me. I'll come back for you as soon as I've handed the book over to the royal authorities. I promise."
"You won't forget?"
He wanted to laugh out loud. Forget this girl who now filled his nightly dreams? He wasn't certain just when he'd gone from loving her as a sister to loving her in a completely different and carnal way. But one thing was certain. He'd always loved her. "No, I won't forget."
He motioned for her to be quiet and told her to stay behind the stable while he climbed into the hayloft to make certain none of Somersby's men were lying in wait for them. He'd be able to see all that was going on in the stable from his vantage point.
Two of Somersby's men were hiding near the stalls.
He crept behind the first man and quietly knocked him out. He did the same to the second man. Only the young groom remained. Would the frightened boy call out in alarm? John tossed him another coin. "I won't hurt you, lad. Bring my mount to the rear of the stable, then count to twenty and run off to report my escape to Lord Somersby."
"Oy don't 'ave to tell 'im a thing, m'lord. You can clobber me, too. One good wallop to knock me out. Please m'lord. It'll be easier that way."
John had never struck a child before.
Nor would he ever.
Not after … he shook out of the haunted memories. "Sorry, lad. Can't do it. Here, I'll tie you up and gag you. Never mind about bringing my horse around back. Courtyard's clear. I'll do it myself. Tell him you heard me say something about catching a boat at Fort William."
John knew he'd wasted precious minutes, but he worked fast to bind the boy's hands and was rewarded by the look of relief in the lad's eyes. "As soon as he rides away, I want you to find Lord Darnley and tell him that I have his niece and she's safe with me. Make certain none of Lord Somersby's men hear you or you'll be putting us all in greater danger, even yourself. Understand?"
"Aye, m'lord."
"Good." He gagged the boy, then quietly led Valor to the back of the stable where Nicola was waiting. He lifted her onto the saddle and quietly cursed himself for the fire that shot through him the moment his hands circled her waist. "Hold tight to that book," he said, making certain she was securely perched in front of him as he mounted behind her and swallowed her in his arms.
She nodded and clutched the book to her chest, giving a little gasp when he suddenly spurred Valor to a gallop.
Despite the wintery chill now in the air, John felt as though his body was engulfed in flames. Nicola's soft curves were plastered to his hard chest. Her sweet roses and apples scent mingled with the scent of the pine and heather that surrounded them.
He ought to have been shivering with cold.
He ought to have been shivering with fear, for Somersby and his men could not have been more than a few steps behind them.
But all he felt was an odd contentment. Nicola was in his arms, almost lost within his jacket that was still wrapped around her like a blanket. This was where she belonged. With him. "My aunt and uncle," she said, raising her voice slightly to be heard above the wind.
"They'll be safe. Jordan will protect them."
She laughed lightly. "No, John. You needn't sound so pained. I know you're worried about them, but they can take care of themselves. What I mean to say is that my aunt and uncle will protect Mr. Drummond. The marquis won't dare harm them, not while so many of their Society friends are watching. I doubt he even cares about them now. He's desperate to find us. Do you know what's in this book?"
He shook his head and groaned. "Something illegal, possibly treasonous. Something that I was sent here to investigate. If he's involved, it will get him hanged. What possessed you to do something so reckless?"
"I am not reckless. I'm … I don't quite know what I am. But Somersby said something to me on the ride back from MacNaughton's Tavern that alarmed me. He doesn't love me."
"That's alarming."
She frowned at him. "My point is I think he's using me to hurt someone close to me. I had to find out who. Can you blame me for wanting to protect those I love? I don't know what else is in this book, but I hope it reveals the identity of the person he's seeking to destroy. It could be my uncle or Julian. I can't imagine who else values me enough."
"You'd be surprised."
She snorted. "Doubtful. This is my third season and I'm firmly on the shelf."
He drew her up hard against him. "Nicola, there is someone out there who loves you more than anything in this world, who cares for you more than he cares for his own life. Trust me. He's out there."
"John, you are a terrible liar. But thank you."
He made no comment in return, for he'd said too much already.
They rode in silence for several more hours, heading northeast toward Fort Augustus and traveling as fast as they dared in the dark. Once there, he'd have to find a boat to take them up Loch Ness to Inverness. The boat would have to be big enough to carry Valor, for he wasn't leaving this beautiful horse behind. While he trusted the locals to return the powerful stallion to Drummond Stables where he or Jordan could pick him up later, there was no telling what Somersby would do if he got his hands on the majestic beast first.
John slowed Valor as they rode over an uneven hillock, concerned that he might stumble and injure himself.
The terrain was rugged in this area.
The crags were plentiful and dangerous.
They were riding along the Fraser border, familiar territory to him, and John debated whether to forgo the boat and remain on horseback, turning south toward MacPherson land. He and Nicola could spend the night at Cluny Castle, the ancestral home of one of his school mates, Malcolm Gordon. If Malcolm was in residence, then perhaps he could leave Nicola in Malcolm's care while he rode on alone to London without going to Edinburgh first. He'd make much faster time without her. And staying on as a guest at Cluny Castle wouldn't be a hardship for Nicola. She would have a hot meal at least twice a day, a hot bath whenever she wished, and a soft, clean bed to sleep in every night.
No, he decided almost at once. Malcolm was a scholar, not a fighter. He wouldn't know how to protect Nicola if Somersby forced his way in.
In truth, John wasn't certain he could leave Nicola behind even if Malcolm was capable of fighting off Somersby and his vermin.
His heart would not allow it.
Nicola was his to protect.
Could he leave her in Edinburgh with the regimental commander?
He gathered her more securely in his arms, for their tense escape had exhausted her and she appeared to be falling asleep, lulled by the steady, loping stride of his horse. He'd worry about what to do with Nicola once they reached Edinburgh. Logically, he knew that she would be safe and well guarded there. He knew that it was wisest to ride off on his own to deliver the ledger into the Prince Regent's hands.
But he was never logical when it came to Nicola.
Valor suddenly lurched forward, jolting John out of his musings and almost unseating him from the saddle. "Damn."
The stallion recovered immediately, but appeared to be favoring his front right foot slightly.
"John, what's wrong?" Their near fall had shaken Nicola out of her sleepy haze and she cast him a worried look.
"Valor must have stepped on something sharp or gotten a pebble lodged in his shoe." He dismounted and helped her to dismount while he quickly checked the extent of the damage to his horse's hooves, especially that front right hoof. "We'll have to stop in Fort Augustus and find a blacksmith to tend to him. It shouldn't delay us too long. I'll need a little time to secure our passage on a boat to Inverness anyway."
He breathed a sigh of relief upon finding nothing wrong, but he had the horse trot in a circle around them a few times to be sure he was in no lingering discomfort.
"He seems fine." John turned to Nicola. "Let me help you back into the saddle." He still intended to stop at the blacksmith shop. No harm in making certain Valor hadn't been injured.
Nicola held onto his shoulders as he lifted her up.
He climbed on behind her and drew her close, trying to convince himself it was only because Nicola needed the warmth of his body. It had nothing to do with his fiery ache for her. No, nothing to do with him.
Nothing to do with his heart. "We're about an hour's ride from Fort Augustus. We'll get there shortly before sunrise, but we may have to wait around until the shops open. You need warm clothes. Sturdy boots and stockings." He would purchase a woolen cloak or heavy scarf for her, as well.
Her teeth chattered as she nodded. "Yes, I'm cold."
"You must be hungry, too." He'd look for an inn or tavern to secure a hot meal for both of them.
"Famished, but anything will do. We can eat while on the run, if we must." She attempted to stifle a yawn, but it didn't fool him.