“What were those five living things?” Guo Jing asked.
“They were earthworms, fat juicy earthworms. I just swallowed them alive, and did not dare to chew them,” Hong Qigong replied.
When Guo Jing recalled how the slimy earthworms wiggled, he almost threw-up. Hong Qigong laughed heartily. He intentionally talked about the world’s dirtiest and smelliest things to battle the aroma coming from the food and wine below them. He talked some more and cursed some more, before finally saying, “Jing’er, the Old Beggar has eaten earthworms, but there is something even more disgusting than them and the Old Beggar would rather eat my own toes than eat that thing. Do you know what it is?”
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Guo Jing smiled, “I know…it’s dung!” he exclaimed.
Hong Qigong shook his head, “No, it is dirtier that that.” He let Guo Jing make some more guesses before bursting out in laughter, “I’ll tell you what it is; the world’s dirtiest and most disgusting thing is the Western Poison Ouyang Feng!”
“Right…that’s right!” Guo Jing also burst out laughing.
After they’d suffered the whole afternoon, that evening Ouyang Ke came out and stood amidst his mass of vipers. He smiled and said, “Uncle Hong, Brother Guo, my uncle wants to borrow the ‘Nine Yin Manual’ just to take a look, nothing else.”
Hong Qigong cursed under his breath, “That son-of-a-bitch….he has such good intentions!” In the midst of his anger an idea suddenly came into his head; but he kept a straight face and shouted loud and clear, “Little Rascal, the old man admits defeat to your dog-like uncle’s evil scheme. Quickly prepare some food and wine and we’ll talk again tomorrow.”
Ouyang Ke was delighted; he knew Hong Qigong’s word was as firm as a mountain and he certainly would live up to his promise. He gave the command to withdraw the snakes immediately.
Hong Qigong and Guo Jing slid down the mast and went into the cabin; where Ouyang Ke’s servants delivered all kinds of food and wine. As soon as the door was closed Hong Qigong immediately drank half a pot of wine, ripped apart half a chicken and started to chew.
“Is this food and wine free of poison?” Guo Jing asked with a low voice.
“Stupid kid,” Hong Qigong said, “That bird brain wants you to write out the manual, he won’t harm you just yet. Quickly eat as much as you can; we have things to discuss afterwards.” Guo Jing silently agreed and in one breath he ate four big bowls of rice.
After eating and drinking to his heart’s content Hong Qigong used the end of his sleeve to wipe his greasy mouth, then whispered in Guo Jing’s ear, “The Old Poison wants the ‘Nine Yin Manual’ [jiu yin zhen jing] from you, so you will write a ‘Nine Yin Altered Manual’ [jiu yin jia jing] for him.”
[Note: ‘zhen’ means real and ‘jia’ means fake.]
Guo Jing was puzzled, “Nine Yin Altered Manual?” he asked in a low voice.
Hong Qigong smiled, “That’s right!” he said. “In this whole wide world, you are the only one who knows the ‘Nine Yin Manual’. Whatever you want to write, just write. Who is going to say that what you write is not the real manual? You will intentionally alter and mix up the sentences and let him use that to train himself in that martial art. I am sure that if he practices for a hundred years he won’t master even one fart of it!”
Guo Jing was delighted and thought, “This is really a clever trick; the Old Poison will surely fall for it.” But then he remembered something, “Ouyang Feng’s martial arts are profound and he is also crafty and vigilant; if disciple just scribbles some nonsense, he will find out eventually, then what?”
he asked.
“You have to write something that appears right but is actually wrong,” Hong Qigong explained,
“Write three correct sentences then alter the fourth one. Add or subtract some numbers, for example, if the manual says you need to do it eight times, change it to six or perhaps ten. As smart 600
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as he is, he will never find out. I am willing to spend seven days and seven nights without food or wine just to watch him train from the fake manual.” Speaking to this point he could not restrain a smile.
Guo Jing laughed, “If he really practices according to the altered manual, not only will he waste his time and energy, but he could suffer some internal injuries as well,” he said.
“Now quickly think carefully about how you are going to alter the manual; if he once gets suspicious, our plan will be foiled,” Hong Qigong said with a smile; then he added, “The contents of the second volume was read and rewritten by Huang Yaoshi’s wife; moreover, that little rascal read it on Peach Blossom Island and therefore you can’t change that part too much, just add some incorrect words here and there. I am sure the little rascal won’t know the difference.”
Guo Jing silently recited the manual in his head, trying to think which sentences he could alter and where he could insert some misleading sentences. He replaced hold with move, above with below, and other simple alterations that did not require him to recompose a whole sentence; in short, he was following his master’s instructions to make subtle changes everywhere in the manual. For example, he changed the sentence ‘hand and mind toward the sky’ to ‘foot and buttock toward the sky’; or ‘feet firmly on the ground’ into ‘hands lightly moving on the ground’. On the internal energy cultivation he changed ‘concentrate ‘qi’ in the pubic region (dan tian)’ into ‘concentrate ‘qi’
in the chest and throat’.
While thinking about all these changes he could not restrain from heaving a heavy sigh and saying in his heart, “Playing practical jokes like this is Rong’er and Big Brother Zhou’s greatest delight.
It’s a pity that one is nowhere near and the other is already dead. Someday I will see Rong’er again, but I will never be able to tell this story to Big Brother Zhou.”
Early the morning on the next day Hong Qigong called Ouyang Ke and proudly told him, “The Old Beggar’s martial arts are already unique; I don’t need to know the kinds of ‘Nine Yin Manual’ arts.
As a matter of fact, even if you hold the manual in front of my face I won’t even cast a glance at it.
Only some bird brain whose martial arts are useless would be dying to steal all sorts of gold and silver [play of words here: shen jing – divine scripture, shen jin – pure gold, shen yin – pure silver].
Tell your dog-of-an-uncle that the manual will be written just for him. Tell him to shut himself up and train hard; when he’s done, to come to the Old Beggar to test his newfound skills. The Manual is naturally a good thing, but I don’t even want to give it a single glance. I want to see, if with the Manual’s help, he will be able to defeat the Old Beggar. I want to see, if after he has painstakingly practiced the martial arts from the manual, whether he’ll even be equal to [ban jin ba liang] the Old Beggar? I’d say he’s just taking off his pants to fart; it’s totally useless!”
Ouyang Feng was actually standing behind his cabin door, so he heard everything, but he was delighted instead of getting angry. “It’s a very good thing the Old Beggar is so proud that he doesn’t mind letting me have the manual,” he thought, “Otherwise, even if I fought him, threatened him with snakes or poison, or starved him to death, it would still be difficult to force him.”
“Uncle Hong, you are wrong!” Ouyang Ke said, “My Uncle’s martial arts have reached perfection.
With Uncle Hong’s ability, you could not gain even half a move advantage; so why would Uncle want to learn the ‘Nine Yin Manual’? My Uncle once told little nephew that he is convinced the
‘Nine Yin Manual’ has enjoyed an undeserved reputation. Otherwise, when Wang Chongyang won the book, why didn’t he learn anything from it and demonstrate it in front of everybody? My Uncle Eagle Shooting Hero
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wants to take a look at it to point out the errors and prove that the manual is actually a hoax.
Wouldn’t you say that it will benefit the Wulin world tremendously?”
Hong Qigong burst out in laughter, “You are foolishly blowing your horn too hard!” he mocked.
“Jing’er, go ahead and write the manual from your memory. If the Old Poison can point out any errors in the ‘Nine Yin Manual’, the Old Beggar will kowtow to him.”
Guo Jing agreed and went out. Ouyang Ke led him to the big cabin where there was a stack of paper, some ink sticks and a brush; he’d even prepared the ink himself and respectfully waited at one side.
Guo Jing’s had not had much schooling and his handwriting was shoddy; he often had to think about the characters he had to write so he worked very slowly. More than once he did not know how to write a certain character, so he had to ask Ouyang Ke to write it for him. Working until noon that day he’d barely finished the first half of the first volume.
Ouyang Feng did not show himself at all, but every time Guo Jing finished writing a page Ouyang Ke would take that page and give it to his uncle. Ouyang Feng looked at them carefully. Some sentences did not make any sense to him, but even though sloppy, the characters were clear. He thought those sentences must have very deep meanings behind them; when he returns to the west he will then slowly digest the manual. He believed that with his intelligence and ability he would eventually understand the manual thoroughly. After a dozen years or so he would master all of the martial arts in the manual. He could not help but feel elated. He knew Guo Jing was dumb, he also noticed Guo Jing’s handwriting was plain and simple, almost child-like. He believed that a person like him would not be able to fabricate a complex manual such as this one. Besides, his nephew had told him that for many characters Guo Jing knew the sounds, but did not know how to write them, so his nephew had to teach him or write the characters himself. This was the real manual without a doubt. How could he know that this dumb kid had conspired with his master to deliberately alter the manual to deceive him? As for the confusing sentences, he blamed that on Guo Jing’s inability to remember the text correctly.