“It can’t be undone. I’ve spent years being angry with you, and the last month angry with her. I’m tired of all of it. As much as I hate to admit it, Greg is right. I cut myself off from others and I’m not happy. That’s a hard thing to realize. It’s hard to believe I’ve wasted so much of my life being angry.”
“You’ve got more than your share to be angry about, Jess. Between your father, me, my mother, and losing Hope, it’s a lot for one person to deal with, to live with.”
“Yeah, well, it’s over. Done. I need to move on and focus on my future. My business is doing well. Actually, both of them are. I like what I do. Professionally, I’m set. It’s my personal life that’s in shambles.”
“It’s not as bad as you think. You have me. I need you, Jess. I want you to be my wife. I wasn’t kidding when I said I love you, or that I’ve thought of you all these years. Even when I thought you were dead, I loved you and wanted you back.”
She could lie and tell him she’d only been angry with him all these years and she had no intention of making the same mistakes twice. Even though she thought he’d betrayed her and not wanted her or Hope, she’d always loved the boy who always let her win in a bike race, who chose her to play on his team when other kids overlooked her. The boy who made her smile again after her father hurt her, even though he didn’t know that was why she was sad. The boy who held her under the stars and gave her Hope.
She didn’t know the man like she knew the boy. But she wanted to.
Damn Greg for always being right.
“I’ve thought of you all these years too,” she admitted.
“I’m sure you’ve thought of many ways to kill me,” he said sardonically.
“Well.” She smiled. “There was that.”
Something inside her dared her to try again. Enough regrets stood between them already. She didn’t want her inability to reach out to him to be another regret in her life.
She didn’t want to end up alone for the rest of her life.
“I’ve spent a lot of nights walking through this empty house wishing you were here and these rooms were filled with our children. I built this house because of a dream. At the time, it seemed this house was the only piece of the dream that could ever be a reality.”
“It’s not, honey. We can be together. I like your house. I watched you and Will together on the couch tonight watching TV. I thought about how this is how things should be for us.”
“Oh, yeah, with you doing all the cooking? I might consider it then.”
He laughed at her enthusiasm. “I’d cook if it meant I had you in my arms every night.”
She wanted to say yes. It was on the tip of her tongue to just give in and let the life she’d always dreamed come into focus as her reality. Something stopped her.
“A lot of years separate our past and today. I’m not sure what I feel. I don’t know how much is wishful thinking and hope I can have the past back, or if it’s real for me today.” She leaned her head back against her chair and viewed the reflection of the house in the dark windows.
“Face it, honey, you still want me.”
Blunt, but true.
“Fear is holding you back. I’ll find a way to overcome it. The past is the foundation for what we’ll build our future on now.”
She had to admit, the man could be convincing when he wanted something. She didn’t doubt he wanted her. The attraction between them crackled in the air and in her body even now. But this time it had to be about a hell of a lot more than hormones and lust. She wanted everything he offered, but didn’t quite believe it. Cautious. Yes, but for good reason. This time, it had to be forever, or she’d never survive losing Dylan again.
The silence stretched. He was thinking, same as her. She enjoyed being with him like this in the quiet, absent any awkwardness. He gave her the space she needed because he needed time too.
“Why don’t you stay tonight?” His eyes sparkled and a slow half grin graced his face. When his eyebrow went up, she knew his mind had taken a turn down the wrong road. “I mean, you could take Will upstairs to sleep. I realize it’s not a far drive back to town, but he’s wiped out. You can share the guest room. It’s no trouble. It’s just for tonight,” she rambled.
“I think that’s a great idea. I haven’t seen the upstairs. I wondered what spectacular things you did up there.”
“Nothing special, just five rooms and three bathrooms.”
“Good God, Jessie. Why did you build such a big house?”
“Like I said, it was a dream. One I wanted very much,” she said softly.