“No, honey, she can’t. Tell me how you picked your daddy.” She thought changing the subject would be a good idea for herself and Dylan. Besides, she really wanted to know how these two became father and son.
“The belly mommy couldn’t keep me. She found Daddy and he helped her. I didn’t belong to the belly mommy. I belonged to him.”
“The belly mommy.” She smiled at Dylan, thinking it a charming way to tell a child he was adopted.
“I wasn’t sure how to explain to him where babies come from. Since Heather carried him in her belly, we call her the belly mommy. Eighteen, all set to go off to college and have a brilliant future, she found out she was pregnant. She managed to keep it hidden from her parents and graduate high school with honors. When she couldn’t hide the pregnancy any longer, she ran away from home, hoping to have the baby without anyone finding out. She had some trouble and wound up on the streets of Atlanta scared and alone.
“While on duty one night, I found her in an alley. I took one look at her and knew I had to help her. Something about her spoke to me and told me not to send her home, or to a shelter. After letting her parents know she was safe, she stayed with me a couple weeks, until Will came. Easier that way for her to go home without the neighbors and friends knowing she gave up the baby. When she went into labor, I was scared to death for her and the baby. We’d become good friends and her parents liked me. When this little man came into the world, she handed him to me and asked if I’d raise him. She’d already talked to her parents about it, and they agreed. I couldn’t say no. I didn’t want to say no. He was mine. I knew it the moment I saw him.”
He studied her to gauge her reaction, relieved to see her interested and not upset by the events of his becoming a father.
“Heather went off to college. She’s a junior. She’s studying medicine and will someday be a great doctor. It’s what she’s meant to do. She wants to have a family someday. She just wasn’t ready to have one at eighteen as a single mother. I keep in touch with her. We send letters a few times a year. I send her pictures of Will. I thought it important he know who his mother is and the courage it took for her to give Will to me. She wanted the best for him.”
“She got it.”
He sat back heavily at her words, letting out a deep sigh. Nothing could have surprised him more than to have her say he was the best father for Will.
“Don’t be so surprised. You’re a great father. It shows all over your face how much you love him. He’s a lucky boy.” She meant it.
“Does it bother you I adopted Will from a teenage mother? I mean, you were alone and I wasn’t there for you. I stayed with Heather when she had Will. I took care of her the last month of her pregnancy.” He couldn’t tell her how guilty he felt about that, and at the same time what a blessing it was to be there to see Will come into the world.
“I wasn’t alone, Dylan. I had Pop and Greg. But I really wanted you to be there.” She shrugged and cast a glance past him out the window. “I’m tired of being angry about something that could have been, but wasn’t. At least you know what it was like for me bringing our girl into the world. You were lucky enough to see Will come to you. I don’t begrudge you that experience, or the fact it got you Will. In fact, it takes a little of the sting out of you missing Hope. You’ve had Will for three years. I only got five days. I know it’s not the same. But it’s something.”
“It isn’t the same. He’s not Hope. I’ll forever regret what happened.”
“And what about your mother? Are you really going to cut her out of your life forever?”
“I don’t know. All I know right now is the sight of her makes me so angry I want to punch something.” Will abandoned the cartoons and climbed into his lap and let out a huge yawn. Dylan put his arms around him and held him to his chest, his chin resting on top of his head. Something else he’d never get to do with Hope. “What about you and my mother? You said you wanted to make her pay.”
She smiled softly, her eyes eating up Will curled against him. “What is there to do about it? Hope is gone. I can’t give you back those five days.”
“Not just five days. Your entire pregnancy and eight years I could have been happy. I thought you were dead. She knew you weren’t and could have let me know at any time. Do you know how many days and nights I thought about you? Too many to count. I regretted leaving you the moment I got on the bus and headed out of town. I regretted it even more when I thought you were dead. And, even more when I realized your father had been hurting you all those years. I have so many damn regrets about you. This isn’t just about Hope for me.”