Dylan(84)

“I should let you rest,” she says and starts to pull her hand away.

I grab it hard. “No, wait.” I stare into her wide eyes and swallow hard. “Could you close the door? Turn the key. There’s something I need to tell you, and there are too many people going in and out.”

The light in her eyes fades, and fear flashes through the blue. Before I have a chance to ask what the matter is, she gets up quietly and locks the door. She doesn’t come back to sit with me, though. She stands at the foot of the bed, her hands wringing together.

“What’s wrong?” I struggle to sit up, see her better. Dizziness hits me, and I breathe in, waiting for it to pass.

Immediately she comes to help me, fluffing up the pillows and stacking them behind my back.

Then she starts to move away again, and I reach for her. “Tess. Wait.” I manage to grip her wrist, and she winces.

I let go right away. “Dammit, Tess. What did I do? Did I hurt you?”

She shakes her head but won’t meet my eyes. “What you said …” She draws a shaky breath. “About caring for me… I believe you. I know sleeping with me doesn’t have to mean anything, that it doesn’t necessarily translate into love and happily ever after, you know? I…” Her eyes look wet, and my chest is so tight I can barely breathe. “But I love you, Dylan. And no matter how hard I try, I can’t just be friends with you. I’m sorry. I promise I’ll leave you in peace.”

I open my mouth, but no sound emerges. My jaw is slack. My mouth won’t function. I try to form words, but my brain is just as stunned.

That’s what she thinks I’m about to tell her?

Of course it is. What else would she expect from you, asshole?

“Tess.” My pulse is pounding in my temples. “Come here. Please.”

She’s already at the door, her hand on the key. Her mouth quivers. She doesn’t move.

Fuck this. This is all my fault.

“Tess.” Throwing the covers off, I swing my legs off the bed and push myself upright. “Please,” I whisper.

Sweat breaks on my forehead, and black spots swim in my eyes. My knees start buckling, and darkness rushes in with a roar. I think I hear my name being called as everything fades.

***

I blink, wincing as light stabs my eyes, and stare up at a jagged crack on the ceiling. I’m lying on my back on the bed, staring up, and someone is holding my face in both hands. A scent of vanilla and cinnamon teases my senses.

Smells like Christmas.

“Jesus, Dylan, what were you thinking?” Tessa is frowning down at me. “You’ve been on your back for days now, and you’re still feverish.”

“I was thinking,” I say slowly, gathering my thoughts, “that I’m not letting you go again. Not if I can convince you to stay.”

Her eyes go round.

“I’m so sorry I hurt you before.” I love you. Why is it so hard to speak the words? She is everything to me. “My fear of losing you… it’s nothing compared to the fear of never being with you again.”

Color rises to her cheeks, making the blue in her eyes glow. “What are you saying, Dylan?” I can see it all flicker through her gaze—fear, uncertainty, hope.

Just say it.

“I…” My mouth is dry like a desert. Desperately I lick my lips. “I don’t… just love you.”

“You don’t love me?” She bites her lower lip, and it’s driving me crazy. And damn, I’m scaring her again.

“Dammit, Tess, I’m gonna spell it out for you.” I draw a deep breath. “I don’t think I can live without you. And that’s scary as fuck, but I don’t care. When I thought I lost you forever, I realized what was important. You are important, the most important thing in the world for me, and I… I want to ask you…” I close my eyes briefly, then open them again to look into her face. “Is it too late?

“For what?”

“For a second chance. I’m asking you to stay with me, move in with me. Be my girl.” I glance around the dim room. “I know it’s not much. But all I have is yours.”

The pain her eyes eases, but tears slip down her cheeks, and I frown as I reach up to gather them, wipe them away. She’s smiling, though. What does it mean?

“I do love you, Tess,” I say, cupping her wet cheeks, relieved I can finally speak the words. “More than I can ever tell you.”

When she kisses me, it’s salty and bitter and so sweet I don’t think I can ever stop. I kiss her back, pulling her to me, needing to feel her. Feel her skin on skin, nothing between us. We’ve said it all. No more words are needed.