Kissing me for the first time in years.
I lift my fingers to my mouth. It still tingles from the touch of his lips, and the memory of it—sweet, then hard, his tongue stroking mine, his lip ring scraping on my mouth, his hands on my body—makes my breath hitch and starts a throb low in my belly.
I shouldn’t have noticed that he’s more handsome than ever before. Like a promise fulfilled, the boy he was grew tall and strong, his shoulders miles wide, and his jaw so square you can cut wood with it. Those eyes… such a vibrant blue.
Then I remember how he stumbled and fell on the sofa, his face going white. Tired, he said. And all my worry for him, the concern that’s been eating at me for months and years, sharpens, cutting deep.
How can I be both worried for him and angry at him? How can I be so damn sad that I’ll be leaving him behind, when I’ve never really had him? When I finally made up my mind to put him far behind me and not look back?
I glance at my cell, lying on the floor among piles of clothes. I want to call my sister, talk to her, know if she was also tossed into our parents’ deals at some point, like a bonus. If that’s why she left.
But I can’t face that, not now. I do need to talk to someone, though, someone who understands me.
So I get up, pick up the phone and call Audrey.
Absently, I chew on a painted nail as the line rings and rings. Is it too early? I glance at the alarm clock. Ten AM. On a Sunday. Maybe she’s still asleep?
Or rolling in the sheets with Asher.
The sudden image popping into my mind sends heat up my neck. Ugh. Not that Ash isn’t a handsome guy, and Audrey is cute, but ew. They’re like a brother and sister to me.
Hurriedly, I disconnect and stare down at my cell. My teeth grit together. I bow my head.
Can I do this? Leave everyone behind? My city. My friends.
Dylan.
Crap. My fingers clench on the plastic casing until my knuckles turn white. Why is it so hard to get up and finish packing, throw my suitcase in the car and go?
The cell rings, and it’s Audrey. Swallowing hard, I bring it to my ear.
“Tess?” She sounds out of breath, and I wonder if I was right about the rolling-in-the-sheets part. “Hi.”
“Hi, Aud.” The knot in my throat is growing, making speaking difficult. The pain of my parents’ betrayal, Sean’s reminder of what he’s done to me and what he’ll do again, given a chance, Dylan’s admittance he doesn’t love me... It all hurts too much to bear. “Sorry, I hit the wrong number. I didn’t want—”
“What’s wrong?” The breathy note in her voice is gone, and now she’s all business. “Did something happen at the gala?”
I hate lying to Audrey. She’s my best friend, and we’re really close, even though she was away for a time and only returned a year ago. But I find that the words don’t want to come out. I tug on the hem of my nightgown and wiggle my toes on the carpet. Outside the sky is gray, and rain pelts my windows. Inside it’s warm, and I still shiver.
“Tess? Talk to me. Shall I come over?”
“No. I’m fine.” The words now burst out of me in a rush. “Really, I am. I just… wanted to say hi.”
“Well, hi,” she says, and I hear a faint smile in her voice. “You do sound off. Are you coming down with something?”
“Maybe.” Hearing her, I feel better, and I don’t want to hang up just yet. “How are you and Ash?”
“Fine.” I hear a bass male voice in the background, and Audrey laughs. “Yeah, he’s fine. More than fine. Ash, cut it out!”
More heat washes up my neck, seeping into my cheeks, when my imagination helpfully supplies images of the things Asher must be doing to my friend right now. “I should go. We can talk another time.”
“Wait, Tess. What’s on your mind? Want to meet in the afternoon for coffee? I could convince the guys to come.”
“Nah, not today. I’m meeting with someone from my history class to study.” Hey, innocent white lies don’t count, right? I stare at my open suitcase. “Aud… We’ve been friends a long time.”
“Yeah, we sure have. What’s up, girl?”
“You mean the world to me. Your happiness…” I have to stop and swallow hard. “I’m so glad you and Ash found each other. And everyone else, too. Tyler and Erin, Zane and Dakota. I hope you know how much you all mean to me.”
“Tess?” Audrey’s voice goes all high-pitched. “What the hell’s going on? What aren’t you telling me?”
Shit. Way to go, almost gave myself away. “Nothing.” I think furiously, trying to cover up my blunder. “It’s PMS. You know, just a hormonal thing.”