She stands up and leaves the room. No sooner is she out, all the windows implode, and I’m tipping backward, my arms spreading wide. Dropping. Falling. Plunging into the void.
“Dylan,” a soft voice says, close to my ear. “Dylan, wake up.”
I jerk awake, my breath coming in gasps, my heart booming. Stinging sweat drips into my eyes. My muscles are locked so tight my neck is stiff.
A hand is nestled inside mine, small like a songbird. She’s sitting next to me, her blue eyes concerned. “Dylan,” she says. “It was just a dream.”
No, not just a dream. The truth. Dad may not be dead, thank God, but I can see it now. It’s not love that broke him and then drove him away. It’s sorrow and fear. Fear of having failed my mom. Fear of losing everyone in his life.
The same fear I’ve suffered from, the one that made me push Tessa away, ignore what I felt for her for years.
She leans forward. “Are you okay? Shall I bring you some water?”
“I’m fine.” Better than I’ve ever been. “Thanks for being here. Taking care of me. Of my brothers.”
She shakes her head, gives a faint smile. “Of course I’m here.”
“I’m not…” I draw a deep breath as my frantic heartbeat begins to slow. “Not doubting you would be. I just want to thank you.”
Her smile widens for a breathtaking second, making her eyes brighter. “You’re welcome.”
Silence stretches. She’s dressed in a white blouse with a slogan that reads ‘Damage Control’ over her breasts.
“Thinking of getting a tattoo?” I nod at her blouse and try desperately not to stare at her pretty tits while doing so. We need to talk, and I’m easily distracted when she’s near. “Or is Zane paying you to promote the shop? Not that that’s bad,” I rush to add, nervousness tripping my tongue. “I mean, everyone would line up outside the shop if you advertised it.”
Damn. I bite my tongue.
“This blouse?” She looks down her herself. “It’s Dakota’s. She loaned it to me. Still haven’t worked up the nerve to go back to my apartment.”
“I’ll go with you,” I say. “As soon as I can.”
She squeezes my hand, a light pressure of her fingers. “I know. You’ll be well enough soon.”
Shit, I hope so. I hate lying around, letting others take care of me, of my brothers. It makes me feel useless.
And goddamn grateful. I have the best friends in the world. Don’t know what I’d have done without them. It’s slowly dawning on me they’ve been around the house for days, taking care of me and my bros.
“I should let you rest,” she says and starts to pull her hand away.
I grab it hard. “No, wait.” I stare into her wide eyes and swallow hard. “Could you close the door? Turn the key. There’s something I need to tell you, and there are too many people going in and out.”
The light in her eyes fades, and fear flashes through the blue. Before I have a chance to ask what the matter is, she gets up quietly and locks the door. She doesn’t come back to sit with me, though. She stands at the foot of the bed, her hands wringing together.
“What’s wrong?” I struggle to sit up, see her better. Dizziness hits me, and I breathe in, waiting for it to pass.
Immediately she comes to help me, fluffing up the pillows and stacking them behind my back.
Then she starts to move away again, and I reach for her. “Tess. Wait.” I manage to grip her wrist, and she winces.
I let go right away. “Dammit, Tess. What did I do? Did I hurt you?”
She shakes her head but won’t meet my eyes. “What you said …” She draws a shaky breath. “About caring for me… I believe you. I know sleeping with me doesn’t have to mean anything, that it doesn’t necessarily translate into love and happily ever after, you know? I…” Her eyes look wet, and my chest is so tight I can barely breathe. “But I love you, Dylan. And no matter how hard I try, I can’t just be friends with you. I’m sorry. I promise I’ll leave you in peace.”
I open my mouth, but no sound emerges. My jaw is slack. My mouth won’t function. I try to form words, but my brain is just as stunned.
That’s what she thinks I’m about to tell her?
Of course it is. What else would she expect from you, asshole?
“Tess.” My pulse is pounding in my temples. “Come here. Please.”
She’s already at the door, her hand on the key. Her mouth quivers. She doesn’t move.
Fuck this. This is all my fault.
“Tess.” Throwing the covers off, I swing my legs off the bed and push myself upright. “Please,” I whisper.