Asher always knew who he wanted to be with, and he fought against the odds until he convinced Audrey to be his.
I also know who I want, who I’ve always wanted. Tessa. Only I fucked up, and now it’s too late. Damn, the thought of not seeing her, not having her around is a hot blade in my gut.
“Can we do anything for you?” Dakota asks. “I could take Miles to school sometimes and babysit.”
I’m grinding my jaw, and I force myself to stop. “That would be a huge help.”
“What do you need?”
“If you could babysit tomorrow afternoon, while I’m at work, that’d be fantastic. I’ve asked my neighbors to do it once too many.”
Tessa would love to babysit, I hear Audrey’s voice in my head. She loves kids.
Shit.
“Deal.” Dakota smiles, and I do my best to smile back. “I’ll be here.”
“Don’t you have classes or something?”
“I’ll arrange it, take one afternoon off.”
“And I can drop Miles off to school tomorrow,” Zane says.
“Thanks, guys. I appreciate it.”
I really am grateful—but the future stretches ahead of me, uncertain and going uphill. Maybe it’s the fatigue that plagues me, but I can’t help but wonder what will happen after tomorrow. Who will take the boys to school, who will protect Miles from the bullies, who will babysit while I work…
How I will go on without Tessa’s bright smile.
Although it feels good to have my friends here, hope has long deserted me, and I’m already bracing for the worst.
***
Jim, the senior personal trainer at the gym, looks up as I enter and waves. “Hey, Dylan. Feeling better today?”
“Yeah,” I say carefully, pasting on a smile. “Much better, thanks.”
“Glad to hear it.” He gives me a thumbs up, and I return it.
Two days ago, when he last saw me, I had to leave work because I almost passed out when getting up from a machine. Can’t even remember which one.
Damn scary.
So today I take it easy, fend off the advances of three chicks and help others with their exercises.
Time passes way too slowly. At least I know Dakota is at home with my brothers, second day in a row, and that’s a weight off my shoulders. I’m going through the motions, ever since Tessa left my house saying she can’t do this anymore, ever since Zane and Dakota came over and told me to leave Tessa alone.
Payback is a bitch, isn’t it? I made Tess suffer, and now it’s my turn.
I want to make her happy, be the reason she smiles. I want to hold her, kiss her, fill her up until she screams with pleasure. Until she screams my name. Until my name is the only one in her thoughts.
Too late for that now.
Hours pass. The customers leave, and others arrive. I make my rounds, nodding and exchanging empty pleasantries, my mind stuck on one face, one scent, one body.
Tess…
The day’s work is almost over, and the thought fills me with relief. My cell rings, and I answer absently while correcting the posture of a new guy using the chest fly machine. “Yeah?”
“Dylan?” Dakota says. “Where are you?”
“At the gym.” I step away from the machine, frowning. “What is it? Are the kids okay?”
“Yes, they’re fine, although they keep asking for Tessa.” She sounds miffed, and I grin before I remember Tessa is off limits and not coming back.
“Then what?”
“Has she called you? Do you know where she is?”
A cold feeling starts in the pit of my stomach. “What do you mean? I thought she’s staying with Audrey and Asher.”
“Did she call you, yes or no?”
“No, she didn’t call me.”
“Crap.”
My heart is hammering so hard it might crack a rib, and my head pounds. “Dakota, spill. Why the hell are you worried? What do you know?”
“She wanted to go back to her apartment, grab some important papers. Audrey and Asher couldn’t go with her, and it seems she really needed to have those papers for her job, so…”
“So you think she went alone?” I’m already moving, gesturing at Jim that I have to go and ignoring his what-the-fuck-now expression. “Dammit, Dakota, I’m going to go find her.”
I expect her to tell me not to go, to keep away from Tessa, but maybe she’s just as worried as I am, because that’s not what comes out of her mouth.
Instead she says, “When you do find her, give me a call, okay?”
“Sure.” I disconnect, call a cab, grab my bag from the locker and step out into the cold. A violent shiver goes through me, and I zip up my jacket.
Be okay, Tess.
The cab arrives and I jump in, directing the driver to the fancy neighborhood Tessa used to live. Or maybe she wants to move back there?