But first she owed it to herself to try.
There was a commotion outside her room, raised voices and someone shouting her name, and then the door was flung open and her father burst through, the smile on his face a mile wide, and next to him, her beaming sister.
'Marina!' she cried, and flung herself into her open arms.
It was a noisy reunion , filled with laughter and tears of joy, and it was only when her father went off to order a feast that Aisha had the chance to draw Marina aside to talk. They curled their feet beneath them on a sofa overlooking the sea and held hands as they had done ever since they were children.
'I was so afraid,' Aisha confessed. 'Did he hurt you? Mustafa, I mean. He must have been so angry that he had lost me.'
Her sister patted her hand and for a moment her eyes grew serious, the muscles in her face tight. 'He was angry. And bitter. He delighted in telling me in how many ways he would have me.' Her eyebrows raised. 'And in great detail.'
Aisha shuddered, remembering her own ordeal, and her sister put a hand to her arm, squeezing it.
'But don't worry. I now know why he had to spell it out. Because, my dear sister, it seems the man is impotent.'
'So why did he say those things? Why did he take you?'
She shrugged. 'I think he knew there was nothing he could do to challenge the ascension but he still wanted to frustrate things. I'm sure he was hoping the coronation would be delayed. As it was, apparently the news didn't make it to the palace in time.'
She patted the back of Aisha's hand where the remnants of the henna tattoos were still just visible. 'Which reminds me, you are a queen now, and a married woman! Congratulations. Zoltan is such a wonderful man. You must be so happy.'
She shook her head. 'No. Please don't,' she said, pressing her lips together, tears once more springing to her eyes, but this time not from joy.
'Why? What's wrong?'
'It's off. I left him. I don't know if he'll want me back.'
'What?'
She shrugged. 'I left him.'
'How could you do that? Didn't he rescue you from Mustafa?'
Aisha could sit no longer. She jumped up and walked slowly to the window to where the sandy coastline of Al-Jirad appeared as a thick white line in the distance, all the while trying to make sense of all her actions, trying to remember why leaving him was so necessary. 'That was only so he could become king. Everything he's done, it was to become king. That's all he wanted. He didn't really want a wife. He told me that. And he didn't want me.' She spun around, clutching her hands together. 'And, before you say anything, it's been two days now since I left his palace and he hasn't bothered to so much as contact me. So, you see, he doesn't care.
'I will contact him, though,' she said, before scraping her bottom lip with her teeth. 'I've decided to try to make it work, if he wants to try.'
Her sister's eyes opened wide. 'You have no idea, do you? Nobody told you.'
'Told me what?'
'That Zoltan couldn't call you because he was too busy rescuing me.'
'What?'
'It's true. How do you think I got away if not for Zoltan and his friends?' She looked up at the ceiling and blew out a breath. 'Bahir included, as it turns out. Seeing him again was a blast from the past, I can tell you.'
'You know Bahir?' she said, distracted.
It was her sister's turn to shrug, as a strange bleakness filled her eyes. 'It was a long time ago. I'm not sure he wants to remember it either.' She blinked and smiled. 'But that's not the point right now.' She uncurled her long legs from underneath her and padded to where her sister stood. Aisha was still shocked from the revelation that Zoltan had been busy rescuing her sister all the time she'd been thinking he had written her off; still trying to work out why he had done that when there was no risk to his reign. He hated Mustafa, it was true, but why would he risk everything to rescue her sister? Unless.
A tiny and no doubt futile glimmer of hope sparked into life. Unless he had done it somehow for her. But no; he didn't want her.
'The thing is, dear sister,' Marina said, taking her hands in hers, 'what are you going to do now?'
'I don't know,' she said, her heart racing, trying to assimilate and understand everything her sister had told her about Zoltan, everything that made no sense, except that it was Zoltan, and in a way it did. Who else had a grudge against Mustafa and felt he had to prove himself at every turn? Who else would delight in humiliating him further? 'I was going to get in touch anyway.'
'Well, maybe you'll get your chance in a few minutes.'
Realisation skittered down her spine in a tingling rush. 'He's here?'
'He said he wanted to freshen up before he saw you. He said he smells of horse.'
'I like the way he smells,' she mused out loud.
Her sister smiled. 'Maybe you could start by telling him that.'
'My father told me I'd find you here.'
They were in the library, all four of them, freshly showered and looking dangerously dark and sexy. And one of them looked darker and sexier than all the others as he perched on the edge of a desk. He watched her, with those impenetrable dark eyes, his jaw clamped shut, his expression closed.
One by one the other men peeled away, Bahir slapping him on the back, Kadar on the shoulder. Rashid uttered a quick, 'Later,' and with a bow of their heads in her direction they were gone.
He stood and bowed his own head. 'Princess,' he said. 'Queen.'
She looked up at him, at this man she had once had and lost, at the dark planes and sharp angles of his face, and wondered how she could ever have thought he wasn't the most handsome man on the planet. How had she missed such an obvious fact? She wished she could have flung herself into his arms, as she had done with Marina. But if he rejected her, if he pushed her away, she would die.
'I came to thank you. For rescuing Marina.'
'Your sister is well?'
She nodded. 'Very well, and very grateful. We all are.' She searched for something else to say, something to broach the veritable abyss that seemed to stretch between them. And then, because she needed to know if the tiny spark in her heart would be fanned into life or would quickly be extinguished, she went on. 'Why did you do it and not leave it to someone else? Why did you risk yourself on such a rescue now that you are king?'
He dragged in a breath. 'I should never have left Mustafa free to continue to make trouble, after what he had attempted with you. He is the worst kind of opportunist. He saw an opportunity when King Hamra's entire family was wiped out and he kidnapped you to try to steal the crown.'
She frowned. 'You don't think he-?' She stopped. It was too ugly a thought to entertain, too horrible, even for someone like him.
'Do I think he was behind the crash from the start?' He shook his head. 'No. I wondered that once too, but no. Mustafa is a bully, he always has been. But even he would not be capable of murdering so many of his own family. The early reports from the crash investigators seem to support that it was a tragic accident. So, like I said, he saw the opportunity to seize the throne and he took it by kidnapping you.
'And then when that went wrong he saw the chance to frustrate the coronation by taking your sister hostage. I promise he won't try anything again, not where he is now, but how could I do nothing when I felt responsible for what had happened, for letting him go after what he had done to you?'
'Oh.' She looked at the floor as the tiny spark of hope fizzled out. 'I see.' He felt responsible. But he would. When would she ever learn? When would she stop her silly dreams and hopes getting in the way of reality? 'Well, thank you.'
'And, of course, there was the consideration that Marina is your sister.'
She warily lifted her head. 'Because she is now sister-in-law to the King?'
'More than that. I knew you would be upset. I know how much your sister means to you.'
She blinked up at him, touched beyond words, the beginnings of a tentative smile forming on her lips, the spike of tears behind her eyes. 'I'm sorry,' she said, and then wondered why she'd said that when she'd been intending to thank him again. And then she realised it didn't matter if he rejected her apology out of hand and never wanted to see her again-she owed him this apology. 'I'm so sorry for causing you so much trouble.'
'It was Mustafa-'
'No-for being such a spoilt princess. I'm sorry for leaving you the way I did. My father tried to talk sense into me but I wouldn't listen. I thought you didn't care that I'd gone, but all that time you were out there finding my sister.'
She squeezed her eyes shut and put her hands over her face, feeling the dampness on her cheeks from the tears that would be contained no longer. 'I'm such a fool.'