He accepted her silence. She had no doubt he would take her home and make love to her and hold her. So why was there a lump in her throat?
It was probably because she knew her time with him was almost up. A few weeks. Nothing more. They would solve the case or dissolve the task force. They wouldn’t let him stay forever.
He wouldn’t let himself stay forever. He would go looking for his sweet sub who would never question him. She shouldn’t. She should be smarter than Karina. Derek did right. He only ever veered off the path for someone he cared about. When he loved someone, he would do anything to protect her.
She didn’t deserve that.
Her heels clacked along the floor as she made her way to the line of lockers. What was she doing? She wanted Derek. She couldn’t imagine going forward without him, but she was holding back. He’d been so sweet all afternoon. He’d given in on everything. He’d told her she could have her way and perversely it made her want to open up to him.
She found her locker and opened it with a sigh. She needed to go to a meeting. She needed to sit and drink craptastic coffee and tell her story. She needed to walk in there and know she would be accepted for exactly who she was. She needed to know she could walk on her own two feet with her head held high. No one was ever waiting for her. Kevin thought she should do it alone to be strong.
Would Derek wait for her? She kind of thought that if Derek could accept her, he would sit outside the meeting. If he was her husband, he would escort her to and from and hold her hand. He would tell her to do what she needed and that when she was done, he would be there. It was a part of who he was.
It wasn’t a betrayal. It was just a difference. She’d needed Kevin. She’d needed exactly what he’d given her at the time. She hadn’t been ready for the kind of real intimacy she’d found with Derek. She’d needed the boundaries Kevin had given her. He’d loved her in his way. He’d shown her a lifestyle that helped her and given her the kind of distant affection she’d been able to accept at the time. If he’d been as attentive as Derek, she likely would have been wary, would have run away again.
Now she needed to tease Derek and lie in bed with him like a lazy slug and have him bring her coffee. She needed to laugh when he tickled her and she needed to wake him up when his dreams got bad.
She needed to love Derek. She needed to be loved by him.
God, what would she do if he walked away?
There was a sound from the showers that caught her attention. She turned, worried suddenly.
Master Will walked out of the showers, his face pale, his hands reaching for her. “Karina.”
He shouldn’t be here. Oh, fuck. She stepped back. She wasn’t carrying, but she could still handle herself. “You stay back.”
She noticed there was a smear of dirty reddish brown on the doorway as he lumbered through. She could see the blood he’d left where he’d placed his hand.
“Karina…” He stomped toward her, but there was something wrong with him. He moved without grace, as though forcing himself along. “Run, Karina.”
She didn’t need any more prompting. She started to turn and that was when she felt something sharp against her shoulder. There was a burning sensation and she swatted her hand back, but her vision was already odd.
Slow. She was slowing down.
Starr stood in front of her, a needle in her hand. “I am going to be so glad when I don’t have to come to these places anymore. You’re all sick, you know. Terry, we should hurry. Are you sure the bin is big enough?”
“I’m sure, baby doll. I got this planned out down to the last detail. You just trust me.” The last thing she saw before the darkness closed in on her was her brother-in-law’s face sneering down.
Derek was going to be so mad at her…
Chapter Eleven
Derek looked down the hallway, staring where Karina had disappeared. The men’s locker room was on the opposite side of the building, but he’d left Liam watching her while he’d picked up his stuff and changed into street clothes. She was taking her sweet time. As long as he was waiting, it might be good to do some damage control. “How’s it going, O’Donnell?”
The Irishman’s brows rose. “Careful there, Brighton. I might think you’re being friendly.”
“I’m sorry, man.” He was about to go into a major explanation because O’Donnell was Karina’s friend and he needed to start playing nicely with Karina’s friends. “I can only…”
O’Donnell held a hand up. “I’ve met your ex-wife. I understand. Just treat Karina well and we’ll be all right, you and me. You talked to Sean? He told you what we found out about Terry Mills?”