She shook her head, stepping back from him again, hitting against the side of the car. “No.”
“I called you baby. I’m sorry.” He had to fix this. He’d made a fucking mess of it. He’d just told himself it would be best to move away from her and the instant he had a real chance to do it, he panicked. He didn’t want to leave her. He couldn’t trust her to anyone else. “I don’t call you baby.”
Something had happened to her. Her hands were shaking. He grabbed them, holding them between his. He deepened his voice because she needed something to hold on to. He needed to ground her. He’d done this to her and he had to make it right. “Karina, calm down. Listen to my voice and calm down. Let’s go home. I’ve got my kit upstairs. I’ll tie you up and you’ll feel safe and I swear I won’t ask another question. You have my word on it. I won’t call you baby and I won’t ask you anything about your past.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Her teeth were chattering like she was cold.
“You don’t have to. You don’t ever have to tell me.” He knew that look. She was scared. He’d put her in a bad place and that was the last thing he wanted to do.
This was why she needed to play. It wasn’t play at all for her. It was therapy. Some people hit the gym when the stress got to be too much. Some people drank. Some did worse. Karina played. She let the pain and the discipline center her.
“Let me take care of you.” He could give it back to her. He could spend an hour with her, giving her what she needed and then they could talk. He would talk at least. He would let her know that her secrets were her own and he wouldn’t pry again.
She looked up at him, her eyes a little wide, and he felt her start to relax.
“Karina, is this guy bugging you?”
He turned and saw a man standing at the hood of the car, a frown on his face. He was dressed in sweats and a long-sleeved T-shirt despite the heat. He was sweating and his eyes were on Karina. Derek moved in front of her, putting his body in the way. He could easily make it to his gun if he needed to. “Who are you?”
Karina moved from behind him. “He’s my brother-in-law, Derek. Hi, Terry. How are you?”
“Did this asshole make you cry?” Terry pointed a finger at Derek. That was when he noticed the bright blue cast around his hand. It looked like it went all the way up to his elbow. “Is this one of those perverts? I told you to stay away from that shit.”
Derek was just about to take care of him because the last thing Karina needed was another fight. She needed to be calm.
“Terry, please. Can we go upstairs to my place?” Karina turned to Derek. “He was Kevin’s brother. Why don’t you go pick up dinner for us or something?”
“I’ll keep my mouth shut, but I’m not leaving you alone.” Not for anything. Not even to make her happy. He’d been a fuckwad asshole and she might never forgive him, but he wasn’t leaving her alone if he didn’t absolutely have to.
Karina frowned and turned away, seemingly in control again and obviously unhappy with him. She started talking to her brother-in-law and Derek had to wonder if he hadn’t just ruined everything.
* * * *
“How are you feeling? When are you going to get that cast off?” Karina shut the door behind her, totally aware that Derek’s eyes were watching her every move. She tried to focus on Terry.
Terry sat down at her bar, glancing around to see where Derek had gone. “Does he really have to be here?”
“Where else would I go? I live here.” Derek was a grim-faced guardian who seemed intent on destroying her.
“What?” Terry turned to her, shaking his head. “You said this was casual.”
If she hadn’t promised Liam, she would have told Terry everything. She would have thrown Derek right under a damn bus, then stopped the bus, backed over him and hit him again.
He thought the worst of her. He thought she’d slept with every man at Sanctum apparently. Hypocrite.
And yet when he’d held her hands and promised to make everything better, she’d wanted to go with him so badly. She’d wanted to nod and let him pick her up because she’d believed him. She’d believed he would give her what she’d needed. He would make her safe and she could fight her urges. She’d known if she just gave over to Derek, she wouldn’t even think about using.
Thank god for Terry. She could talk to him and then ditch Derek and find a meeting. She would do it tonight at some point. She could handle it. She didn’t need him. She was in control, and if he thought for one second she was sleeping with him again, he was so wrong.