“I’ve been sexually active for seventeen years,” he said, his voice cautious. “When I was twenty-two and twenty-three, sometimes I was with more than three people a week. Frequently a lot more. I was often with two at the same time, occasionally three.”
Gen made a mental note to be sure he always wore a condom, and asked, “How can you possibly be happy with me?”
“Beautiful, all but a handful of that number, it was just sex. I fucked ‘em, that’s it. I’m not even sure I knew all of their names, groupies who showed up at a biker bar, got drunk, and fucked a biker. I’m sure for some of them I was nothing more than a check mark on their bucket list. I know for a fact I was for one chick, because she told me ‘fuck a biker while he’s wearing his cut’ was on her list, and she thanked me for letting her check it off.”
He reached across the table, stroked her cheek. “It’s been a long time since I’ve made love to someone, years since it’s been more than a physical act. I hope eventually you and I reach a point we can occasionally just fuck, but I love what we have, and never want to lose it.”
“Even though you’re having to teach me? Show me what to do?”
“Especially because I’m getting to teach you, Beautiful.” He rubbed her hand, sat back up. “You’ve already figured out I like to be in control when it comes to sex. I’ve never let anyone take the kind of control I gave you. Never thought I would, but I don’t mind it, with you. Not every time, but I’m good with it occasionally. Just let me know when you want to, Genesis.”
She’d never liked it when anyone else called her by her first name, but she loved the way it rolled out of Duke’s mouth, as if she mattered. As if she was important to him.
“But, by being in control, it means I call the shots. We’ll start working on vocabulary sooner than I’d originally planned, see how you do with it. Brain might be a little right about my making too many changes and not being myself, he thinks you can handle more of me than I’m giving you, so I’m going to give you a little more and see how you do.”
Gen had wanted him to show her who he really is, but the prospect of him actually doing it was a little intimidating. She changed the subject by asking, “Do you know if any of them… you know… gave you anything?”
His smile was patient, and she was relieved he wasn’t mad at her for asking.
“I didn’t use condoms as much as I should when I was younger, but I somehow lucked up and never caught anything. Somewhere around twenty or twenty-one, I started using them religiously after a pregnancy scare.”
“I went off birth control when I broke up with Mike.”
Gen didn’t have the nerve to ask him to get tested before they went without condoms, and thought maybe she’d just stay off the pill so he’d have to keep using them.
He opened his mouth to speak but she didn’t want to continue this conversation, so she interrupted with, “Brain told you I set up appointments for us to view a couple of properties tomorrow?”
He looked at her a few seconds, and apparently decided to let her get away with changing the subject. “Yeah, anything I need to know ahead of time?”
“I found the perfect spot, but Brain says it’s too close to The Billiard Club. I have permission to show it tomorrow, just in case, but we have several places farther away to look at as well.”
“Doesn’t matter how perfect it is. If he says it’s too close, it is.”
“Why can’t you be close?”
“Because Abbott and Isaac asked us not to be, and we have enough respect for them to…” He leaned forward, rubbed his forehead as he looked at the table. “Give me forty-eight hours to make some arrangements to explain it to you, and I will.”
Gen stood, carried her plate to the sink, and said, “I don’t know what’s happening between us, I don’t know how we’re going to figure all of this out, but I’d miss you if you weren’t in my life.”
“I’d miss you, too. I have a lot of answers, but I don’t have them all. However, I’m confident we’ll figure it out.”
“Okay, then. I’d like to take a quick shower — alone — and then I’d like to cuddle with you. I’ve decided I feel safe in your arms, it’s only when you’re standing across the room glaring at me I get scared, so I need more time just being in your arms.”
The next thing she knew, his arms were wrapped around her and he was holding her. “With that in mind, the next time I scare you, can you ask me to hold you?”