Duck the Halls(57)
I decided not to mention the possibility that if the chief hadn’t solved the murder by Friday, he might not release the body. They could always have a memorial service without it.
“The chief will be disappointed at the delay, won’t he?” the lady asked. “Don’t the killers usually show up at the funerals of their victims to gloat?”
“I’m not sure they do outside of the television shows and mystery books,” I said. “But even if they do, I expect the whole town will show up to gawk at Mr. Vess’s funeral, so the killer would be lost in the crowd.”
“Yes,” Mother shook her head sadly. “Everyone who feels guilty about having uncharitable thoughts toward him will show up at the funeral. We might need to borrow the Baptist church to hold everyone.”
“He did have a gift for inspiring uncharitable thoughts, didn’t he?” I said.
“The vestry meetings will certainly be much less stressful,” the lady said. “I can’t believe the amount of time and energy we spent on trivial expenditures.”
“All that fuss over how fast the toilet paper disappeared.” Mother shook her head.
“And that ninety-cent phone call he wouldn’t stop harping about.”
“And his ongoing crusade to get rid of poor Riddick.”
We all glanced over at Riddick, who appeared to be working off his anxiety by picking up bits of litter in the parking lot.
“Remember what a fuss poor Mr. Vess used to make if he found so much as a gum wrapper on the grounds?” the lady said. “So much fuss over such trifles.”
A thoughtful look crossed Mother’s face.
“Of course, every once in a while, poor Mr. Vess did uncover something genuine,” she said. “Petty, but genuine.”
“But can you imagine him uncovering anything worth killing over?” I asked.
“No,” she said. “But still. He had been acting very smug and cheerful lately. I’ve never seen him that way unless he was about to expose someone’s sins. You don’t suppose he had uncovered something that led to his death. If—”
“No,” I said. “I’m sure it was just an accident. He was probably down in the undercroft counting dust bunnies or something when the prankster came in.”
“I’m sure you’re right, dear,” Mother said. “I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.”
“But if you think it’s a possibility,” I added. “Tell the chief.”
“Of course, dear. I’m sure it’s nothing.”
I could tell she was lying.
Just then Rob ambled up.
“Hey, Meg, can you give me a ride?” he asked. “I came in with Michael.”
“You can come with us, dear.” Mother pulled out her car keys and headed for her own car.
“I’m not going home,” Rob said. “I need to get over to Judge Jane Shiffley’s farm ASAP. I have a client out there.”
“A client?” Although Rob had graduated from the competitive and not inexpensive University of Virginia School of Law and subsequently passed the bar exam with a bare minimum of study, he hadn’t ever actually practiced law. “No offense intended, Rob, but—”
“Yeah, I know,” he said. “My legal prowess isn’t exactly legendary. But the chief has arrested a couple of teenagers for pulling the pranks—”
“Ronnie Butler and Caleb Shiffley?” I asked.
“Wow, word really gets around fast,” he said. “Yeah, and Caleb is Randall’s second cousin once removed, and Randall’s having trouble getting hold of any of the local defense attorneys, so he’s hired me to go down and hold the kid’s hand till the big guns get there.”
“Rob, I don’t want to cast aspersions—” I began.
“I know I’m not qualified to represent the kid in something that could turn into a murder rap,” he said. “But I can make sure he keeps his trap shut until a real defense attorney arrives. I know my limitations. And so does Randall. He’s still making calls.”
“If the Butlers are having the same problem finding a lawyer, keep an eye out for Ronnie, too,” I said.
“I will if I can get there,” he said. “I wish someone would tell me why half the time Judge Shiffley insists on holding court in her barn when there are several perfectly good courtrooms over there in the town hall.”
“Because she can,” I said. “And she likes barns better than courtrooms.”
“Whatever,” he said. “Can you take me?”
“Let me check with Michael,” I said, pulling out my phone.