When my shift was finally over, and the snake was returned to its cage, I felt like I needed a shower even more than usual.
I caught the late bus just in time. Once seated, the very first thing I did was check the Landon’s Lunch Box app, even though I knew the truck was out of service for the night. It would still show the last location of the day. Tonight it was the Venice Beach Boardwalk.
Closing my eyes, I imagined I was there, smelling the savory food and listening to the sounds of the ocean as the sun beat down on me.
Each day, you could also check the menu. Landon really seemed to try to change it up. He’d create funky sandwiches with unlikely ingredients and name them things like Cuban Reuben. A new addition today caught my eye and caused me to gasp.
Rana’s Feta Sandwich.
ASS SELFIE
A few nights later, Landon caught me just as I had gotten home from work.
“I don’t have long to talk,” he said before I could hear his lighter flick. “Tell me something funny, Rana.”
“I got a raise at work.”
He blew into the phone. “That’s funny?”
“It is when the condition is that you dance with a gigantic snake around your neck.”
“Are you fucking serious?”
“Dead serious.”
“Damn, girl. I knew you were a trouper, but this just takes it to an entirely different level.”
“Well, you might not be so impressed when it wraps itself around my neck and suffocates me someday.”
His deep laughter was like a massage to my eardrums. “Between the snake and that psychopath, Lenny, you’re doomed.”
“God, that’s so true.” I lay down and kicked up my feet. “How was Santa Monica today?”
“Oh, what’s this now? Were you stalking my app, Saloomi? That’s the only way you’d know where I was.”
“Maybe. I like to live vicariously through you, California boy. I like to close my eyes and pretend I’m there, listening to the ocean and basking in the sun.”
“It’s not really all it’s cracked up to be out here. Sometimes, I think you have this false impression that the sunshine somehow equals happiness. The sun always goes down, Rana. It can’t mask everything.”
I couldn’t help but want to know what he was really referring to there, although asking him to open up to me any more than he already had would warrant my having to do the same.
He continued, “Don’t get me wrong. It beats the hell out of Michigan.”
“I bet.”
“Well, I wish I could talk to you longer, but I’m supposed to be meeting someone.”
My heart sank. I wasn’t ready to let him go. I hated that I’d looked forward to talking to him all day more than anything.
“Oh…okay.” Curiosity got the best of me. “A female someone?”
“Yeah.”
My breath caught. “What’s her name?”
“Sage.”
Valeria, Melanie…Sage. Another one to add to the list.
“Sage. Interesting. Are you going to take her home to cleanse your apartment of evil spirits? Isn’t that what they use sage for?”
“Not sure, but I’m pretty sure if you ever came over, all the spirits would come out to dance instead.”
“You’re probably right. I’d have the opposite effect of sage.”
“You and your snake.” He snickered. “Holy crap, that’s funny. I’m not going to be able to stop thinking about that shit tonight.”
“Don’t remind me. I still have to wash the slime off my neck.” I sighed. “Well…anyway, have fun.”
“I’ll try.”
I was literally pouting. “Tell Sage I said ‘hello.’”
After we hung up, I suddenly felt very alone. A surge of enormous jealousy shot through me.
In the shower, my thoughts were racing. I wanted to be the one going out with Landon tonight. I wished so badly that I could touch him, smell him, kiss him. I yearned to actually feel the vibration of his laughter against my skin.
You can’t have it all, Rana. You can’t hide yourself from him and want him for yourself.
It’s inevitable. You’re going to lose him.
That thought made me incredibly sad.
I was starting to realize that I had really been in denial. I was head over heels for this man, the way he made me laugh, the way he appreciated my oddities, the way he really seemed to know my soul, even if I’d done everything to hide what’s on the outside. Thoughts of him had invaded my every waking moment from the very first night I’d called him—and honestly, long before that.
As scared as I was to remove the barrier between us, I ached for more.
After lying down in silence for a while, I ventured over to my closet and opened one of the old notes.