‘Very good, very good,’ Catapillow chortled. ‘Master of the Lower House and the Far Reaches! Arthur Penhaligon! Most amusing!’
‘But I am Arthur Penhaligon!’
‘Yes, yes, you’ve had your joke,’ said Catapillow. ‘Now you must answer our questions.’
‘Most specifically, do you intend to claim this treasure?’ added Concort.
‘No, I really am Arthur Penhaligon! Why don’t you believe me?’
‘Don’t be silly,’ replied Catapillow. ‘Everyone knows Lord Arthur is a mighty fighter! Why, he defeated Mister Monday in personal combat and wrestled Grim Tuesday to the ground and broke both his hands. Besides, I’ve seen a picture of Lord Arthur. Huge, broad-shouldered chap, carries a bag full of magical apparatus he invented himself.’
‘Not to mention he always travels with his giant half-bear, half-frog assistant,’ said Concort. ‘And an assassin girl who used to be the Piper’s bodyguard.’
‘What?’ asked Arthur. ‘You mean the Will and Suzy Blue?’
‘It’s all here, you know,’ said Concort, pulling out a tiny book from his sleeve. It expanded into a large hardcover, bound in red, with the title embossed in enormous gilt letters on both the spine and front cover, The Epic Adventures of Lord Arthur, Hero of the House.
‘Look, the frontispiece is a portrait of Lord Arthur.’
Concort held the book open to show a colour plate that had been stuck in next to the title page. It showed a very tall, handsome man who looked and dressed rather like Monday’s Noon. He was posing next to an open carpetbag that was glowing with rainbow-coloured light. A bizarre, hunched-over monster that had the legs of a frog and the upper body and front paws of a bear crouched next to him, and in the background an Amazon woman in silver armour was cutting the head off a misshapen semi-human creature that was clearly supposed to be a Nithling.
‘So, who are you?’ asked Concort again, snapping the book shut. ‘And let’s be clear this time, what about the treasure?’
‘What about the treasure?’ asked Arthur as he tried to gather his thoughts. It hadn’t even occurred to him that they might doubt his identity. But it was clear that both Concort and Catapillow’s main concern was the treasure. ‘I don’t even know what the treasure is. Do I have a claim to it?’
Catapillow and Concort looked at Sunscorch.
‘It looks as if that’s so,’ said the Second Mate, tapping the book in front of him. ‘Doctor Scamandros had a reading of the laws for me, and it looks to be that young Arth here is entitled to ninety per cent of the value of this treasure.’
‘Ninety per cent!’ exclaimed Catapillow and Concort. Catapillow added, ‘Doctor Scamandros! How can this be so?’
Arthur hadn’t seen the Doctor, but the Denizen stepped into the light from beside the table, so he must have followed Arthur and then stood in the shadows.
‘According to The Blue Book of Admiralty, a fixed buoy treasure marker is itself considered a vessel. This young mortal here was in command of the vessel by virtue of being on it. Mister Sunscorch took him off at his request, but Arth did not relinquish command of the buoy, which marked the treasure, and which was not taken in tow. By taking the chest and not the buoy as well, the vessel is still considered to be afloat and the treasure it marked notionally still of it, though no longer marked by it. The matter is further complicated as the treasure was the property of a pirate outlawed by direct writ of Lady Wednesday. So it is considered immediately forfeit and property of the House authorities, with a reward equal to an amount of ninety per cent of the value of the treasure being paid to the finder. We are not the finder, Arth is, as demonstrated by the unfortunate fact that he is marked with the Red Hand. We are in the position of having salvaged the finder, and must come to some arrangement with him. But should Arth wish to be returned to that buoy with the chest, we must do so.’
‘I’m not sure I followed that,’ said Arthur. ‘You’re saying the treasure has to be given to Wednesday because it belongs to a pirate? And I’m entitled to a reward equal to ninety per cent of its value because I found it first?’
‘Yes,’ said Scamandros. ‘However, we do not have to help you. We can simply return you and the chest to the treasure marker. There is also the matter of the original owner of the treasure. So there is room to negotiate, I think.’
‘Sure.’ Arthur tried to smile as he spoke. It sounded crazy to him, but no crazier than some of the court reports on the news back home. Murderers who weren’t murderers because of weird technicalities. Companies that didn’t have to pay debts because of odd loopholes. ‘What do you suggest?’