Drizzled with Death(53)
“I expect she thinks it is a matter of life and death.” Mitch stepped out from behind a display of rakes, a new steel one clutched in his hand.
“That’s right, I do. So the price is irrelevant.”
“Life and death for whom?” Dean shut the sudoku over his finger and gave me his full attention.
“Livestock, of course,” I said.
“What is it you think they are in danger from?” Dean asked.
“Chupacabras? Was it? Jersey Devils? UFOs?” Mitch asked. I wanted to bash him over the head with the rake.
“Ask Connie about the fencing she wished she’d bought.” I wanted to deflect attention from my own mountain lion in the vain hope the rumor of it might at least stay away from Celadon.
“Hanley’s wife Connie?” Dean asked.
“Yes. And her goats. She lost a goat to something on Friday night.”
“Lost one?”
“Airlifted right out of the enclosure and another one clawed all up along its haunches. So yes, I am interested in fixing up the fencing so I don’t have to experience the same thing at Greener Pastures.”
“What kind of thing could grab up a goat and take it away?” Dean leaned forward across the counter like he was afraid he’d miss something.
“I’ve heard a mountain lion could do something like that,” Mitch said.
“But everyone knows there aren’t any mountain lions in New Hampshire,” Dean said, rolling his eyes.
“That’s because they all got eaten by chupacabras,” I said, scowling at Mitch.
“No way. Chupacabras eat goats. I saw a program about it on TV.”
“Mountain lions are real. Chupacabras are imaginary,” I said.
“You only think that since no one has ever caught one. I’d love to go on one of those cryptozoology hunts one day,” Dean said.
“You ought to ask Graham for some tips on wrangling wildlife. Ask him about the best way to catch three-toed sloths.” I grabbed the fencing samples and scooted out the door.
Thirteen
“Brantley Sims here, calling from the State.” Hearing the gnome’s chirpy voice filled my ear with a cheerful sound and my guts with a sloshy carnival ride feeling. Here it was, the moment of truth.
“Yes sir, this is Dani.” I gripped the arm of my desk chair for support and hoped for the best. I was glad he had called me when I had reached the privacy of my office and not back in the hardware store in front of an audience.
“I’ve got some good news and some bad.”
“Give me the bad first.” I’m a “get on with what needs doing” kind of a person and I’ve found knowing what you’re up against early on helps with that. I hoped the website update in front of me was not going to need heavy revisions.
“Can’t give you organic certification until this poisoning thing is all cleared up.” At least he didn’t apologize or mince words. Still, a small part of me had hoped he was going to say he was just going to have to wait until after the holiday to mail my certificate because they were out of printer ink.
“So you aren’t shutting me down permanently? Is that the good news?”
“That’s not my job. I can’t say yea or nay on that subject.”
“So what is the good news?”
“If the police get to the bottom of the poisoning and you aren’t to blame, things should go through without a hitch. Your operation looks good, and I’d be delighted to pass you just as soon as the other thing is resolved.” I heard him mumbling something to someone in the background. I wondered again if it could be another one of the dwarves or Snow White.
“Well, that’s something at least.”
“It’s a whole lot of something. You wouldn’t believe the kinds of stuff I see during my inspections. The poisons people keep sitting around in their barns and sheds for livestock and kids to get into scare the life right out of me sometimes. Many’s the time I’ve given landowners what for, for their sloppy and dangerous practices.” I heard him harrumph like an animated dwarf.
“You’d think people would know better, especially if they are producing things for consumption.”
“Not a lick a sense, most of ’em. I’m not one bit surprised that woman at the pancake breakfast was killed by a pesticide. It would be all too easy to do if you ask me, accidentally or otherwise.”
“Well, there wasn’t anything accidental about that toxin ending up in the syrup.”
“No, I’m sure there wasn’t if it came from your property. At least not if you didn’t clean something up between the time the syrup got poisoned and the time we had the inspection. Like I said, it looks like you have a very clean operation.”