No. No, he and his mother were not. His mother was probably a Ten Point Five too and Ten Point Fives didn’t help out Two Point Fives. That was law in Mara World.
I straightened my shoulders and said firmly, “Thank you, that’s very kind. In fact, um… all you’ve done is, uh… very kind but I’ve got it now.”
This time his eyes fully narrowed. “You’ve got it now?”
“Yes,” I answered.
“You’ve got it now,” he said disbelievingly.
“Um… yeah,” I repeated.
“You work twelve to nine,” he reminded me.
This was true, this week. The other shift was nine thirty to six thirty which wasn’t much better. How I was going to pick them up, look after them and sell beds so I could keep them fed was unknown to me but I’d figure something out.
“Yes, I know,” I told Mitch.
“So explain to me when you gotta work how you’ve got it now,” Mitch demanded to know. He looked like he was getting angry.
“I just do,” I provided no information and then decided to be polite but move this on so I could move onto whatever was next for me, Billy and Billie. “Really, I want to thank you because you’ve been really cool about all this and um… with the kids and everything but I’ll take it from here.”
“You’ll take it from here,” he repeated and I wished he’d stop repeating after me because it was freaking me out.
“Yes,” I replied.
He studied me again. Then he said with what seemed like strained patience, “I don’t think you get it, sweetheart. I told you I’d help out and I’m helping out.”
Jeez, I wished he wasn’t so damned nice.
“Yes, I understand that but what I’m telling you is that you don’t have to, um… get involved. I’m good. The kids will be good. I’ve got it now.”
“You’re a single woman who works full-time selling mattresses, Mara, and suddenly you got two kids on your hands. There is no way you’ve got it now.”
My freak out was beginning to melt to anger. I crossed my arms on my chest and informed him, “We’ll be perfectly fine.”
“Not without help you won’t,” he shot back.
“Mitch, I’ve got this.”
“Mara, there is no way in hell you’ve got this.”
That was when I lost it and I threw up my hands, hissing, “Jeez!” I leaned in. “I’m letting you off the hook! You don’t need to wade in Mitch. We’ll be fine. You can go…” I hesitated, looked at his door then back at him and finished, “Do what you do, enjoy your life, whatever.”
“I didn’t ask to be let off the hook,” he pointed out.
“Yeah, nice guys don’t but they still want to be,” I replied.
“Don’t tell me what I want, Mara. I’m seein’ with this shit that, again, you have no clue what I want.”
“Okay, then I’ll tell you what I want. What I want is not to be standing out in the breezeway arguing with you when I’ve got a million things on my mind. What I want is for you to stop butting into my life by getting out of it!”
My anger had built up so quickly I didn’t realize his had too and his surpassed mine. But I noticed this when he leaned into me, his face hard, his eyes flashing with a muscle jumping in his cheek.
“I was right. Your head is right up your ass but the problem now is you got two kids you gotta worry about and you can’t stumble through life with your head up your ass at the same time taking care of two kids.”
In our anger race, at his words, I pulled ahead and leaned into him too.
“Stop telling me I have my head up my ass, Detective Mitch Lawson. I’ve got my eyes wide open. I’ve always had my eyes wide open.”
“You’re totally fuckin’ blind.”
“You don’t know me enough to say something like that,” I snapped.
“Mara, I know you a lot more than you think and you’re not only blind, you’re clueless.”
“I’m not clueless!” I hissed.
He clenched his jaw and stared at me. Then he leaned back and swept me from top-to-toe with his eyes before they locked on mine.
“Thought it was worth it,” he muttered like he was talking to himself. “Totally fuckin’ wrong. Not fuckin’ worth it.”
I knew what he was saying. I knew exactly what he was saying. I should have been ecstatic that he figured it out. Instead it felt like he’d shoved a knife in my heart and twisted.
Before I could get used to the pain, Mitch concluded, “You got it, baby? Go for it.” Then he turned and sauntered through the breezeway.