Dream Wedding(89)

She was still ten feet from the door when it was flung open and the man who had haunted her thoughts, and humiliatingly enough, her dreams for the past fourteen or so hours, appeared on the porch.

“Thank God,” he said, hurrying toward her and taking her suitcase. “I didn’t think you’d ever get here.”

She glanced at her watch. “I’m on time.”

“I know. It’s not that.” He hesitated before stepping back into the house, as if he were an escaped soul being forced to return to hell. “We’re not having a good morning.”

Cassie gave him a quick once-over to check out his appearance. The poor man did look a little harried. There was a juice stain on his light blue shirt, one of his athletic shoes had come untied. He’d cut himself shaving and his hair was mussed. All this and it was still relatively early in the day.

“A problem with Sasha?” she asked sympathetically, knowing the toddler was thirty-plus pounds of pure energy and motion.

He closed the door behind her and set down her suitcase. “The worst. She’s been crying.”

Cassie had to bite her lower lip to keep from laughing. While she was sorry that Sasha was having a tough start to her day, Ryan had uttered the statement with all the solemnity and worry of a man talking about flood, famine and pestilence.

“It happens,” Cassie said, working hard to keep her expression serious.

“But how do you make it stop?” He ran his hand through his hair and shook his head. “I’m completely at a loss. She looks at me with those big tears rolling down her face and I panic. I’ve told her I’ll give her anything she wants if she just stops crying.”

“You might want to rethink that philosophy,” Cassie said. “It could get expensive in years to come. Plus it’s never a good idea to give away power in the parent/child relationship. They’re going to learn fifty different ways to play you as it is. Trust me on this.”

His green eyes darkened. “She’s asking for her mother.”

Cassie’s good humor faded. “I’m not surprised. This is a difficult time for both of you.”

The previous day she’d seen Ryan as a cool, sophisticated businessman, but now, standing in the foyer of his late brother’s house, he just looked confused. “What am I supposed to say?” he asked. “How do I tell her that her mother isn’t coming home and I’m all she’s got?” His mouth twisted. “They screwed up big time leaving that kid to me.”

“No, they didn’t. If leaving her to you had been a mistake, you wouldn’t be worried about her feelings. You’d just be going on about your day and not giving her another thought.”

His gaze locked with hers. “Then I’m the biggest bastard in town because that’s exactly what I want to do.”

She read the pain in his face, the questions. Having kids around could be difficult under the best of circumstances, but Ryan didn’t even have the advantage of experience. He and Sasha were strangers.

“It doesn’t matter what you want to do,” she said quietly. “We all have thoughts we’re not proud of. Fortunately we’re judged on our actions, not our fantasies.”

He didn’t look convinced. “Will she get over losing her parents?”

Interesting question, Cassie thought. “Yes, but not in the way you think. She’ll eventually stop asking for them. We can try to explain what happened in simple terms and she’ll accept it. But she’ll always carry an empty space around inside of her. She’ll always wonder how it would have been different if her parents had lived.”

“You sound like you know what you’re talking about.”

“I do. I’m adopted. It comes with the territory.” She forced a lightness into her voice. “Everything will be fine. You’ll see. Look at how great I turned out.”

His gaze lingered on her face. “Thanks for listening. I don’t usually dump on relative strangers.”

She had a feeling he didn’t talk about his emotions with anyone, but she didn’t say that. “No problem. The advice is worth about what you paid for it.”

“No, it’s worth a lot more than that.” He motioned to the family room off to the right. “She’s watching a video. What did parents do before VCRs?”

“I have no idea.”

“Thank God for technology.” He picked up her suitcase. “I’ll take this up to your room. I’ve put you across the hall from Sasha. I hope that’s all right. The room is pretty big and it has its own bathroom. Everything is clean. From what I can figure out, a cleaning service comes through about once a week.”