Dream Wedding(36)

“Did you like living like that?” she asked.

“I suppose every kid dreams of running away to live a life of adventure. I did that and more. I have experienced things most people just read or dream about. But there were things I missed.”

He stared into the grove of trees, but she knew he was actually seeing a past she could only imagine. How had his world and his life shaped him? What would he have been like if he’d grown up as the boy next door?

“I never had my own room, so I didn’t collect things the way a lot of kids do,” he said. “I didn’t have a lot of friends. In some places there weren’t boys my age around, or if there were, they were busy with school or helping the family. We moved around so much, I would just get to know someone and then it would be time to leave.”

“I hadn’t thought of that,” she admitted. “It sounds lonely.”

“Sometimes it was. I had tutors. They were usually with us for a couple of years at a time, so that was something I could depend on.” He shrugged. “Growing up like that is all I know. I can’t pass judgment on it without something to compare it to. I don’t think it was better or worse, just different. I experienced the world from a different point of view. If we planned to settle in one place for a few months, I usually enrolled in the local school.”

He looked at her and grinned. “When I was a teenager I used to complain about not having fast food or high school girls around.”

“So despite everything, you were very normal.”

“I like to think so.” His smile faded. “I always wanted a brother or sister. Someone around my own age to talk to and be with. Grandfather tried, but he wasn’t a peer. I envy you and Cassie for being so close.”

She couldn’t imagine anything in her rather dull life that someone like Arizona would be interested in, but the idea of a sibling made sense.

“She’s my best friend,” she said. “We’re so different, we can’t help arguing sometimes, but none of that really matters. We love each other so much.”

“It shows.” He ripped open the protective covering on one of his protein bars and took a bite. After chewing he asked, “So how are you different?”

She nibbled the dried vegetables and found they tasted better than they looked. “You have to ask? Cassie is a dreamer. She believes in fairy tales and magic.”

“That’s right. And you’re the completely practical one.”

“Exactly. She wants a very traditional life. Husband, children, a home.” She stopped talking and pressed her lips together. A home. The house. That beautiful Victorian house that their parents had left to her instead of leaving it to the two girls equally.

They’d probably been afraid the sisters wouldn’t be able to work out a way to share. No doubt they’d been trying to prevent the house being sold. But their will had reinforced Cassie’s feeling of not truly being a part of the family.

“Is there anything wrong with wanting a traditional life?” Arizona asked.

“No, and it makes sense for her. Cassie just wants to fit in. She wants to have roots.”

“Doesn’t she now?”

“I don’t know that she thinks so.” She shrugged. “It’s complicated. Cassie—” She automatically reached inside the neck of her T-shirt and pulled out the locket she always wore.

Arizona reached over and touched the heart-shaped piece of jewelry. “Connections with the past,” he said. “She has the matching earrings. And her memories. Your parents chose her. Isn’t that enough?”

His dark eyes saw too much, she thought. She felt as if he could look deep down into her soul and that made her nervous. Was she enough for him? Sometimes she didn’t think she was enough for herself, let alone someone else. But then she was used to being confused. It was becoming a constant in her life. She didn’t understand her relationship with Arizona any more than she understood why the man had appeared in her dream. She didn’t know what she wanted from him, what she felt about him, or what he expected from her.

She jerked her thoughts back to their conversation. “I have the house,” she said. “I wish they’d left it to both of us instead of just me.”

“So she would have that connection?” he asked.

She nodded.

He touched the locket again. His knuckle brushed against her throat. A warmth flowed through her, just as it had when he’d taken her hand while they’d been on the trail.

“It’s not the house,” he said. “It’s here.” He placed his fingers against her forehead, then moved them lower, to just above her left breast. “And here. No one can take that away from her. Or you.”