Dream Wedding(161)
Arizona grinned. “Famous last words.”
Ryan didn’t know how to answer. Cassie wasn’t part of his plan. He wanted— He paused and realized he didn’t know what he wanted anymore. Too much was different.
“I need time to figure this out,” Ryan said.
“So take it. Cassie’s not going anywhere.”
But Arizona was wrong. In three weeks Cassie would be leaving. Ryan didn’t doubt her intention to keep to her plan. She was strong and bound by her word. Unless he found some way to keep her, she was going to walk out of his life. He told himself he would be fine, but in his heart, he was starting not to believe it.
* * *
CHLOE CLOSED THE door to the kitchen. “I took them food. That will keep them quiet long enough for you to tell me what exactly is going on.”
Cassie checked on the roast and the scalloped potatoes, then leaned against the counter. “I’ve told you I broke up with Joel,” she said.
“I thought you two had a fight. I didn’t know he was already engaged to some woman from his store.” Chloe looked furious. She crossed her arms above her swelling belly. “They’re going everywhere together, which is surprising considering they can’t keep their hands off each other. They should just stay home and not subject others to their displays of affection.”
“I distinctly remember you and Arizona going through a stage like that, not too long ago. In fact, it sort of explains your pregnancy.”
“That was different. Joel was involved with you for nine years. Now he’s rubbing your nose in the fact that he’s marrying someone else. I want him to stop.”
Cassie walked over to stand next to her sister. She touched her shoulder. “I appreciate the show of support. Really, it’s very sweet. But it’s not necessary. I don’t care about Joel in that way. I wish you would believe me. I’m not hurt by anything he’s doing. He’s not rubbing my nose in anything—he can’t. I broke up with him.”
“I’m worried about you,” Chloe admitted. “How can this not bother you?”
“It just doesn’t.” Cassie got down two glasses. She poured her sister some juice, and wine for herself, then led the way to the table.
“I’ll admit to feeling a little strange,” she said when they were both settled. “Joel and I were involved for years. Sometimes I think I should miss him more, but I don’t. I’m genuinely happy for him. I wish him and Alice the best of everything.”
She stared at her sister’s familiar face. “I should have listened to you when you told me I was settling. I see that now. I wanted so much to belong to someone that I stayed in a relationship that didn’t have a future. I was afraid to ask for it all. I thought if I kept my hopes and dreams small enough that they would have a chance of coming true, but that if I wanted too much, I would lose everything.”
Chloe leaned forward. Her long red curls tumbled over her shoulder and brushed against her forearms. “You do belong. You’re a very special member of our family. Just because you’re adopted doesn’t mean you don’t belong.”
“It’s not the same, Chloe. I have you and I have Aunt Charity. I know you both love me very much. But I wanted something of my own. I wanted to start building a history. I wanted to be married and have a family. I still want that. The difference is I’ve finally learned I have to take a chance on my heart’s desire. I’m not going to settle again.”
Chloe searched her face. “That all sounds good. So why do you look so sad?”
Cassie drew in a deep breath. She hadn’t decided if she was going to tell her sister everything that was going on, but now she realized she needed the advice.
“I’m in love with Ryan.”
Chloe smiled. “No big surprise there. Your crush evolved as you got to know him. He seems great. He’s smart, a hard worker, Aunt Charity says he’s devoted to Sasha, which means he’ll be a good father. There’s a slight age difference, but that shouldn’t matter. What’s the problem?”
“He doesn’t love me back.” She told Chloe about the kiss and Ryan’s reaction when she broke up with Joel. “He panicked. He thought I was going to lay claim on him. It got worse when he invited Joel over for a reconciliation dinner and Joel sprang the news about his engagement to Alice.” She took a sip of wine. “Ryan’s never been in love. I think the emotion scares him to death.”
“So there’s nothing between you?”
“Not exactly.” She felt herself flushing. “We’re lovers.” She explained how that had come to be and that she’d given herself one month with Ryan. “Then I’m leaving. I have to. If I don’t go while I can, I could waste my life here. I refuse to do that again. While having Ryan love me back would be wonderful, working for him and sleeping with him without any kind of commitment is just settling.”