Ryan felt vindicated. So he’d been right about Cassie’s feelings of uncertainty. Unfortunately, he didn’t have an answer to her dilemma.
“I tell myself there’s more to life than passion,” she continued. “Do I have the right to want more? Who am I to think I deserve it all?”
Ryan stood up and crossed to stand behind her. Their gazes met in the reflection of the window. “Everyone deserves it all,” he said. She more than most, although he wasn’t about to speak the last part aloud.
She turned to face him. “I want to believe you. Sometimes I feel so guilty for not being more grateful to have Joel in my life.”
“You like and respect him. That’s what we’re supposed to do with friends. But you don’t have to pretend to love him if that’s not what you feel. You don’t have to marry him if you’re not sure.”
They were standing too close, he thought suddenly. He could inhale her sweetness and feel the heat from her body. She wore a sweater over jeans, but somehow the simple clothes had become provocative, calling to him, making him want to touch her. Dear God, what was he thinking? This was all wrong.
He told himself to back off. Cassie wasn’t interested in him that way. She saw him as an old man…or at the very least an older man. She worked for him. He had no right to want her, to want to take her in his arms and kiss her.
Cassie raised her chin slightly. “I’m not sure,” she whispered.
He’d waited long enough. Whatever control he’d had disappeared. There was only the night, the woman standing so close to him, and his need. Telling himself it was wrong didn’t help. Telling himself she deserved better than he could ever offer was completely true, but it didn’t give him the strength to turn away.
“Cassie, I can’t—”
His sentence ended in a strangled sound. Cassie stared at Ryan. He was obviously trying to tell her something, although she couldn’t figure out what. She wasn’t even sure it mattered. After all, fire filled his magical green eyes. A fire that burned so hot, she felt herself going up in flames.
She told herself she should be afraid, that Ryan wasn’t like Joel and that she had somehow become tangled in a situation she had neither the experience nor the skills to handle. But she didn’t care. This was Ryan and she trusted him as much as she’d ever trusted anyone. Besides, she couldn’t move even if she wanted to. Something had happened to her will. Her legs were too heavy to carry her away. She couldn’t think, she couldn’t move, she could only wait helpless for something to happen…something wonderful.
He placed his hand on her shoulder. “You should head up to bed.”
She nodded. “I should.” But she wasn’t going to. Not until…well, she couldn’t say until what, but she wasn’t leaving anytime soon.
“I mean it, Cassie. If you stand here any longer I’m going to have to—” He broke off and swore under his breath.
“You’re going to have to what?”
He placed his free hand on her waist and drew her closer. So close that her thighs brushed against his. Instantly heat poured through her. Her legs went from heavy to melting. Her breasts ached and swelled and pushed against her bra. She raised her hands and rested them on his upper arms. She could feel the tension in him, the rock-hard strength of his muscles.
“Ryan,” she breathed. Dear Lord, if she didn’t know better, she might think the man was going to kiss her. Right here in his office, in front of a window, on Halloween. It was magic. It was perfect. He was perfect, trying to warn her away and all. Even now she could see the conflict in his eyes as he attempted to talk himself out of the moment.
It surprised her that there was even a question. After all, she wasn’t like Chloe. Men had never found her irresistible. But she loved the fact that Ryan, of all men, seemed to think her so. His breathing was harsh, his body tense, his eyes questioning.
She thought about raising herself on tiptoe, just to take enough of the initiative so that he didn’t have to feel badly about what he was doing. But she didn’t want to. This was her fantasy, after all, and in all the books she’d ever read, the guy was the one who kissed first.
So she waited…and waited…until it seemed as if he was never going to do it.
Finally, when she was sure he was going to come to his senses and realize who she was and know that he could never really want her that way, he lowered his head to hers.
“Tell me to stop if you don’t want this.”
Those were his last words. She vaguely heard him utter them and had a split second in which to think that was so not going to happen. Then his mouth touched her lips and she couldn’t think at all.