“Death is a finality you can never take back. If you make a mistake, your life ends. If your opponent makes a mistake, you have to choose whether to let him live to see another battle. You can also be the angel of mercy, taking a man’s life after he’s been injured so badly he can never recover.” Leo struck her sword. Tressa parried. “The moment you point your sword at a man’s throat or chest and know that you are the only thing standing between life and death can be humbling. It can also be empowering. That is when you learn who you are.”
“I know who I am.” Tressa slashed at Leo.
Leo moved in closer, forcing her arm toward her trunk, her sword at a peculiar angle. She couldn’t fight him off without hurting him. Still, Leo didn’t falter. His attacks became more frenzied. Tressa stumbled backward, lost her footing, and fell to the ground. One leg twisted under her, throbbing.
Leo lunged down, his sword stabbing relentlessly. Tressa fought back, trying to focus on the sharp tip of his blade and not the pain or discomfort of being sprawled awkwardly on the rocky ground.
“I get the point,” she huffed between thrusts of her sword.
“No you don’t,” Leo growled. “Until you know what it’s like to have your life threatened. Until you have to decide it’s his life or yours. Until you have the moment where you tire of the game, find a weakness in your opponent, and end the fight forever. Until that moment you have no idea what it’s like to stare death in the face, Tressa.”
“How can I know until I’m there? I know you won’t kill me.” She fought to keep her voice low. It was imperative no one hear their conversations. Despite seeing them fight, for appearances sake they were both dressed as men, Tressa knew no one could discover their reasons.
“You can’t.” Leo pressed forward until she was flat on her back, his sword at her throat.
A trickle of blood dripped down the side of her neck. “You can stop now,” she gasped.
“How do you know I’m not here at the queen’s behest? How do you know she didn’t have you followed? How do you know this all wasn’t an elaborate set up, designed to test you. To see how far you’ll go?”
He pushed his sword in a little harder, until Tressa could feel her skin slowly ripping apart, tearing into tiny shreds.
“Leo,” she pleaded. She looked into his eyes. The gentleness she’d grown to love had turned to darkness. There was no more compassion. No understanding. Only the hardened gaze of a man who’d killed before and was considering doing so again.
She took one deep breath before he thrust his sword down all the way.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Leo’s sword wavered back and forth, stuck into the ground only a breath away from Tressa’s throat.
“Give me your hand.”
His fingers wiggled in front of Tressa’s face. She lay on the dirt, refusing to touch him. Light danced in Leo’s eyes, kicking the darkness away.
“Um…” Tressa’s hand went to her neck instead. Warm blood pooled where he’d scratched her with the tip of his sword, only moments before she honestly believed he’d kill her.
Leo stood up straight, his hands on his hips. “Well, if you were in the arena, you would have died. I was only trying to illustrate a point.”
“You did it quite well. I lost faith in you.”
Leo turned around, pacing. “I’m sorry for that. It’s a good lesson for you to learn. You can’t trust anyone. Not your closest friend. Not your lover. No one. For the right price, anyone will betray you.”
“Is that why you’re always alone?” Tressa sat up, feeling like herself again. Willing to give the trust Leo had stolen.
“I’m with you now.”
“But no one else. I’m new to your life.”
Leo waved a hand in the air. “My life is that of a traveler. I can’t have a home or a family. It’s irrelevant.”
“Aren’t you afraid of dying alone?” Tressa’s hand instinctively went to her stomach. She thought of the babies she couldn’t conceive. The future she’d always thought would leave her alone. Now that she had reunited with Bastian, there was hope for the future. Maybe she wouldn’t be alone forever.
“I will die when I die. I can’t control it. I also can’t control who’s with me when it happens. All I hope for is an honorable death. Not something accidental or useless. I want to die for a reason.”
Tressa wrapped her arms around Leo and rested her head on his shoulder. “I will tell your stories when you’re gone.”
Leo shrugged her off with a laugh. “The way you fight, you’ll die long before me, chouchou.”