Dragonlands(246)

He was a terrible father, and he knew it.

"Elinor," he said, "do you mind if I do this alone?"

She squeezed Bastian's hand. "Of course not. I completely understand."

Bastian smiled at Elinor, then followed Hazel into the former village hall. His heart pounded. Since the children had been rescued, he'd only spent small, stolen moments with Farah. Even after Vinya had died in the forest outside Hutton's Bridge, he'd left Farah's care to others. It was a wonder the girl even wanted to speak to him.

"Dada!" Farah ran into Bastian's outstretched arms. She snuggled into his shoulder.

He squeezed her tightly. Farah stepped back. He looked into her face, really looked at her for the first time in her three years, and noticed something he hadn't before. Farah had his green eyes and his strong cheekbones and chin. Though she hadn’t inherited his red hair, Farah looked almost exactly like him.

"Hazel said you wanted to ask me a question, baby girl. What is it?" Bastian tucked a lock of blond hair behind her ear.

"I'm not a baby." Farah pouted, her hands on her hips.

Bastian held back laughter. "I'm sorry. Big girl, what did you want to ask?"

Farah grinned, her smile melting his heart even more. "I want you to stay here. Want to go home." Her speech lisped slightly, her tongue darting in and out of a gap between her top teeth.

"We can't. Not yet. There are still bad guys out there to fight. I have to help drive them away so we can be safe." Bastian watched the light go out of her eyes. "But I promise I'll be back as soon as possible, okay?"

"Okay!" Farah's smile lit up again.

Bastian didn't have any guarantees he'd be back soon, or that they'd ever be safe. But he refused to take away her hope.

Farah slipped her little hand into his calloused palm. She leaned in close, her lips close to his ear. "Just make sure that mean old lady isn't there."

"Who?" Bastian asked, surprised.

"That old lady who used to live with Tressa," Farah whispered. "She scares me."

Bastian sat back on his heels, confused. "You mean Sophia?"

Farah nodded.

"Sweetie, she died many moons ago."

Farah shook her head, disagreeing. "She was there. With the red dragons. Mean old lady."

Bastian hugged Farah again. She must have had nightmares while being held captive. And she was so young and easily confused. He remembered having nightmares as a child, and sometimes they had seemed so real. Bastian kissed Farah’s brow. “I promise I won't let the mean old lady get you. Now, go play. I'm spending the night here, but I’m heading back to the castle in the morning."

"Okay, Dada." Farah ran off, grabbing another girl's hand and giggling.

Bastian sat on the floor, his back against the wall. The children ran, playing tag in the large common room, not a care in the world. They were just happy to be back in their village. Their home.

Elinor sat next to Bastian. "Your daughter is very cute," she said. "She looks a lot like you."

"She does, doesn't she?"

"I wonder what our babies would look like."

Bastian stared at Elinor. "You're not..."

"No!" She laughed. "It was just a question. Not a hint.”

Bastian let out a sigh of relief.

"You're not ready for that, are you?" she asked, her voice quiet.

"No," Bastian said. "I'm not. Maybe someday."

"Maybe us?" she asked, nudging Bastian with her elbow.

"Maybe." He nudged her back.

Elinor rested her head on his shoulder.

He liked her. Maybe he loved her. But now was the wrong time for love. Certainly the worst time for a commitment.

"Where do you want to sleep tonight?" she asked him, followed by a long yawn.

It had been a tiring day. Even some of the children were voluntarily winding down, Farah among them. Her eyelids drooped as she played with a cornhusk doll.

"Here," Bastian said. He didn't want to take Elinor to his cottage where he'd lived with Vinya. It felt wrong somehow and most of the nights he'd spent at the forge had included a random woman. He refused to take her to the meadow where he'd lain with Tressa so many times. No, his relationship with Elinor didn't have a place in Hutton's Bridge yet. "I think it's best if we stay with everyone else. Just in case."

"I understand." Elinor patted his hand and stood. "I'm going to get my pack and settle down over there. You're welcome to join me, but I understand if you don't, with Farah around."

Elinor had a point. It might upset and confuse Farah if she saw him sleeping next to another woman. Back at the castle, he hadn't let her know he shared his chambers with Elinor. "I'd sleep with Connor, but I think he's still outside with Fotia and Vatra," Bastian said. "Perhaps my place is near the door, as a guard."