"I made what I thought were rational choices. Black and white. But I didn't consider the sickness I'd feel over the loss of you, or the absolute shitty troll of an ornery doctor I'd leave for my patients, or the depressed father I'd have left to offer my daughter."
She shook her head as tears threatened. I moved in closer, but she shifted back, so I stopped. "We barely even knew each other," she whispered, and my whole body revolted.
"I knew you. I know you. I know your hideous laugh and the best ways to get it, and the smell of your shampoo on my pillow. I know your playful spirit and professional shit-talking, and I know I'll never be as good as you at trivia-and you're awful. And I know you selflessly take the weight of your mistakes on your shoulders, keeping all the blame for yourself even if it isn't deserved."
Her jaw turned rigid as she fought the shake of her lips.
"And I know Winnie Winslow still misses you, after twelve years of silence and a bad break that should have ended it all. I know she doesn't blame you for your history, and I know she couldn't have handpicked someone better to add to our daughter's life if she'd tried."
"Nick … "
"And I know I love you."
Digging into the depths of my chest pocket, my whole body tightened as my fingers met the velveteen fabric of the box.
I took only one solid breath, just long enough to see Charlotte's body melt at my words, before taking it out and resting it on the table in front of me.
Several flashes lit the darkened ambiance of La Porro as the general public documented our very private moment. I only hoped the answer would save me at least the second half of the night's embarrassment.
"Tell me that's not what I think it is."
"It's not a tiny version of Trivial Pursuit, if that's what you're thinking," I teased with the levity of a bucket of lead. My comedic timing was severely compromised by my position on the precipice of the rest of my life, it seemed.
Charlotte shook her head slowly, and as the possibility of her saying no burned through me, I took the moment to memorize her face. Mysterious and teasing, her eyes were unlike any I'd ever encountered. I didn't understand how they could feel so dark but hold all the light in the world at the same time. Her lips so perfect and peachy, right now in the tiniest of scowls, were normally the gateway for a loving and open smile that I couldn't take my eyes off of.
I wanted to swim in her laugh and touch my tongue to her one minutely imperfect tooth, and I wanted to do it forever.
I watched intently as she closed her mouth and flattened the intense wrinkle in between her eyes. One shaky hand touched the top of the table lightly, skimming the surface of the white tablecloth in a zigzag pattern for what felt like an eternity until it finally skimmed the surface of the ring box.
She opened it so quickly, I was caught off guard. After the snail's pace she'd taken before, I'd expected to be there for another thirty minutes before she worked up the nerve.
Her eyes glossed over, and I couldn't help but explain.
It was crazy. Me. Taciturn and concise on an everyday basis, tonight, I couldn't seem to shut up.
"It was my grandmother's. I always thought it was a battle-head versus heart."
I moved forward, scooting the chair out of the way and getting down on one knee, and gently brushed her hand to the side to pluck the ring from its spot. Her sea-blue eyes followed me the whole way. "But it's not. Life's about both. You use your head to protect the ones in your heart. Nothing else matters."
"I'm sorry," Charlotte started.
My stomach dropped.
"But that's the sappiest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life." Her voice was dry with teasing and hearty with love, and I just about fell over as she took the ring from my fingers and slid it on her own.
"Answer this trivia for me," she said. "What's a three-letter word for I'd like to spend the rest of my life with you?"
"In this case?" I smiled. "I think you mean yes."
Life was strange. Over a week ago, I'd been single, and if I was being honest, a complete sad sack. I hadn't been able to get past my breakup with Nick. Every cell inside of my body had been screaming it was the most wrong thing that had ever happened.
I'd never felt that way about anyone. Not even Remy, after I'd backed out of the wedding.
But looking back on things from my present position-waiting for Nick, my fiancé, and his daughter Lexi to meet me at Cornerstone Tavern for Wednesday night trivia-it all made sense.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and my heart wanted Nick.
Hell, that little bitch had pretty much made my life a fucking mess after the breakup. But lucky for me, and thanks to Nick for taking that giant leap of faith and getting down on one knee in the middle of La Porro, my heart was happy. She'd get to keep the man of her dreams forever.
Yeah, life was definitely strange, but in this case, the weirdness was the best thing ever.
"Can I get you started with anything?" a female waitress with wild, curly red hair asked as she set down a bar menu and a fresh glass of water.
"There will be two more coming," I updated. "And I'll just have an iced tea while I wait for them. Thanks."
"Here for the trivia?" she asked with a wink, and I nodded.
"Hell yeah."
"May the odds ever be in your favor," she teased with a grin, and I laughed. "I'll be back in a few. My name is Patty, by the way. Don't hesitate to let me know if you need anything." She set a few more menus on the table before moving to the table beside mine.
A quick glance at the time on my phone, and I knew they'd be here any minute.
I fidgeted my fingers up and down my water glass, swiping off the condensation just to have something to do. Nerves fluttered up from my stomach and urged slight tremors to settle into my hands.
It was a big day-the very first time that I'd get to meet Lexi.
Normally, Nick only got time with her every other weekend, but Winnie had kindly made an exception to the rule and allowed an extra night this week so the center of Nick's world and I could meet one another.
I was equal parts excited and terrified.
Meeting your significant other's kid was no backwoods show at a resort in the Poconos. It was main stage, Broadway, New York fucking City, and if I couldn't sing the songs and dance the choreography, little Lexi would be sending me for the fucking hills. And I'd be alone. Again.
She was special, I knew from the way Nick talked about her, from the insights he gave me into her life, and if she didn't like me, I wasn't worth liking.
Plus, she was Nick and Winnie's kid. Nick was my present and future, and I loved him more than I'd ever loved someone. And Winnie, well, she had been an important part of my past. One of my closest friends, practically like a sister to me.
I had no doubts they'd made an equally amazing little human being.
But, she didn't know me from Adam, and the stakes were discernibly high. I desperately wanted to make a good impression.
I wanted her to like me. I just wanted it all to go smoothly. And I wanted not to vomit in my freshly washed hair.
First impressions were everything, and I wasn't quite sure how to make a good first impression on a nine-year-old girl who was smarter than most adults-though, I was fairly certain vomit hair wouldn't help.
Entrance door in sight, I watched as Nick stepped inside, one toned arm back to keep a hold on his daughter as she followed. I forced myself to take a huge, calming breath as I lifted my hand and waved to grab his attention.
He smiled softly and offered a little nod as he led his daughter, her little hand encased in his big hand, through the crowd and toward me. As they reached the table, I stood, and Lexi's big blue eyes looked at me curiously for a brief moment, before she reached out her little hand. "I'm Lexi Winslow," she greeted. "You're Charlotte Hollis. You work for CMI as a headhunter, and you're going to be my dad's wife soon."
"That I am." I smiled at her ability to get straight to the point-and forced myself not to bumble my own-and shook her hand. "It's nice to finally meet you."
"Hey," Nick whispered into my ear and softly kissed my cheek. He ushered Lexi into one of the barstools, and we both sat down on either side of her.
She glanced around the room before quirking a brow in my direction. "Are you good at trivia?"
"Well … " I shrugged. "I'm not too bad."
"She's better than me," Nick added with a grin.
"We have about twenty minutes before it starts," I announced and pointed toward the menus. "So, first we need to choose a team name, and then we should probably get our food ordered."
"A team name?" Lexi asked, and I nodded.
"Yep. We need a really good team name. Got any ideas?"
Obviously, Fleetwood Mac's Sex Pants wouldn't cut it tonight. Not that she didn't know about sex. According to Nick, she probably knew more about it than I did, and I liked to think I knew a good deal.