"Yeah, she's fine." She paused. "God, sorry. I didn't even think about what calling this early would seem like."
"No problem," I said. "I'm just glad everything's okay."
Her voice turned cautious. "Well … Lexi is okay. But maybe not everything."
Worry once again clutched at my chest as visions of her finding out about Charlotte and taking away Lexi assaulted my mind. Oh God.
"What's wrong?" I asked, the normal, steady timbre of my voice shaky to even my own ears.
She sighed and apologized again. "I'm sorry. That's not fair either. Everything is fine, it's just … I finally caught an episode of Will Cummings on The Doctor Is In on Tuesday."
Those were already airing? Christ.
"And?"
"You haven't seen it?"
Oh, me? I'd been too busy numbing myself from the world with work. "No. I haven't seen it."
"They painted him in an awful light. He comes off as a pervert and obscene and completely unprofessional. I obviously know Will, and I know these things to be untrue, but I'm worried, Nick. What if they do the same thing to you? What's that going to do to Lexi? You think kids at school aren't going to give her a hard time? Even more of a hard time?"
I rubbed at my forehead and swept the hand down my face. Jesus Christ, this was bad. I honestly couldn't remember what I'd done on camera. How many times Charlotte had been to my office or what we'd done in plain sight.
I'd known from the beginning that this stupid show was a bad idea, but I'd allowed myself to be roped in, and now there was a chance I was going to lose everything.
I worked hard to gather my thoughts. I might be freaking the fuck out in my head, but that was the absolute last thing I wanted to convey to Winnie. My panic or guilt wouldn't help anything here.
"Wow. I had no idea. I completely understand why you're upset, and I wish I hadn't done the show." What a fucking understatement. "I don't know what they'll do to me in the limelight, but you have to know Lexi is the most important thing in my life. I know I fucked up for a long time, I know I missed everything she had to offer, but I won't do that again. Please, Win," I begged. I imagined the fallout of my episodes as they started to air and closed my eyes. "Just, please, remember that."
"I know," she comforted softly. "All of us can see the change in you, Lexi included. She's so attached to you now." She laughed. "In fact, the first thing she said this morning was that she had twelve hours and forty-five minutes until she saw you."
I smiled. Despite the pain, despite fear of the future.
Winnie sighed again. "I'm sorry I got all defensive. Whatever they do with your episodes, I'm sure we'll work through it, okay? I hope I didn't ruin your day too much."
The plexiglass divider in front of me shook as the cab driver pounded on it to get my attention. I looked up to see I was there, St. Luke's shooting up into the sky beside us as people hustled down the sidewalks and through the street all around us.
I yanked some cash from my pocket and handed it to the cabbie, holding my phone between my shoulder and my ear as I climbed out.
"I get it, Win. You're looking out for our daughter. I'm just trying to do that now too."
"I know that. I really do."
"Good."
She paused, so long that I was about to tell her I had to go, and then she spoke again. "Though, you've been a real grouch the last couple of weeks. Think your mood is going to be any better when you pick Lex up tonight, or should I start preparing my force field now?"
"You should probably set up the force field now," I admitted candidly. She laughed. "I will try, though."
"What happened?"
I shook my head and groaned. I didn't know what to say, considered a million different options, but eventually settled on a partial truth. "Just a breakup. It didn't work out."
"Wow. I don't know the circumstances, but it honestly seemed like it was the real thing."
"It was." After realizing how that probably didn't make any sense to her, I amended my answer. "I thought it was."
"Well, all right. I'll allow the grumpiness for a little while longer, then. And instead of the force field, I've got ice cream-a much stronger weapon when it comes to combatting heartbreak."
I laughed. The flavor had better be "atomic."
Stuff tucked away in my office and white coat on, I headed down the hall to do rounds. I was an hour earlier than my scheduled time, but after about five minutes, I'd known I couldn't sit inside my office without going crazy. I had to be out, hands-on, getting shit done.
I'd just turned the corner from the hall with the cafeteria, forgoing coffee in an effort to avoid people, when I heard someone yell my name.
"Nick!"
I wasn't compelled to slow, fearful of what face-to-face interaction with another human being would be like right now, but I did look back over my shoulder to see who it was.
That just made it worse.
Will Cummings. Just the person I didn't want to see.
I turned back forward, never breaking stride, but the slap of his feet on the tile as he jogged to catch up had me clenching my fists.
"Nick, hold up," he called.
"No, Will," I refused as he got close and tried to keep time with my quick strides. "I don't feel like talking. I don't feel like commiserating over your fallen reputation, and I don't feel like forgiving you for talking me into this mess." I knew there was no real way Will could have known the direction this show would go or the unintended consequences it would have on my life, but anger wasn't reasonable. So neither was I.
Down the hall, he didn't give up, keeping time with me at an annoying jog for at least another fifty or sixty feet. I expelled a frustrated breath and stopped as I realized I wasn't going to get rid of him that easily.
"Winnie already called," I told him. "She's worried about my episodes and what they'll mean for Lexi. She already has enough trouble fitting in as it is."
His face turned troubled-and deeply apologetic.
"I didn't know … I had no idea it would be like this, man. I'm so sorry."
Honestly, Will was one of the nicest guys I knew. I was too busy to consider him a close friend, but if I were looking for one, he'd definitely be a prime candidate.
I ran a rough hand through my hair. "Me too. I know this isn't your fault, Will. I just … "
… my life is falling apart.
I didn't say it, but he looked as though he'd heard me. "I get it. Seriously. Don't worry about me, dude."
A really nice guy. Maybe I really should try to hang out with him more.
I almost smiled at the thought.
"Wow," he muttered. "Close call. You're almost smiling."
At his teasing, I felt an actual smile give way. "Wouldn't want that, would we?"
He hooked a thumb over his shoulder. "I gotta run grab some shit and then get back up to four. Catch up later?"
I nodded, considering the offer seriously. I probably should make an effort. "Sure, man." I held out my hand, and he shook it before heading down the hall.
Funny how Will had been the last person on earth I'd wanted to see, but the first one to sweeten my horrendously sour mood.
Sometimes friends are in weird places.
"Wait a minute," Harper stated in my ear. "Where are you going?"
"To pick up Doreen and Harry," I responded and mentally prepared myself for our phone conversation to take a turn for the worse.
"And who the fuck are Doreen and Harry?"
"They're my friends."
She scoffed. "You mean, the same friends who are currently living in your house."
See? This is what happens when you tell your friends things. The mocking goes on forever. This current run of merciless teasing is coming up on two weeks now.
"It's not exactly like that … "
"It sounds a lot like that."
"There's more to the story than that," I explained. "Yeah, they are currently living in my house, but before the auction, it had been their house. For over fifty years, it had been their home. And up until last year, everything was going good for them. It was after Harry had a heart attack and had to get a triple bypass that everything went to shit."
I'd eventually gotten the balls to have the conversation with them. I'd explained to them that I'd bought their house at the sheriff's auction, and the reason Nick and I had been in their house that one day was because it was the day I'd gotten the keys.
Doreen had sobbed when I'd explained the situation to her, and I even showed her the deed.
She hadn't known.
And Harry, well, he was a proud man, and he didn't want to be the one to tell his wife they'd officially lost their house because they were too far behind on mortgage payments.
The sad part of it all was, at one point, they'd had that house paid off.
But then Harry had gotten sick, and they'd taken out another mortgage to make ends meet when he had to stop working, and then a second mortgage to pay for all of the medical bills he'd incurred.